Dr Nick: "Whoa, very good! Did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?"

Homer trying to impersonate Mr. Burnes: Hello, my name is Mr. Burnes. I believe you have a letter for me.

Okay Mr. Burnes, can I have your first name?

Homer: ......I..don't know.

"DOH!"

Homer: "Eighty-five hundred dollars? But we only have 500 in the bank and that leaves.....eighty hundred we need."

Homer (reading screen): "Press any key....Where's the any key?"

HOMER: It takes two to lie, Lisa. One to lie and one to listen.
_________________________________________________

HOMER: (buying a gun) Five-day waiting period? But I'm angry NOW!
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CHIEF WIGGUM: Everybody knows that the police officer will be shot just days before retirement. It's what we in the business call "retirony."
_________________________________________________

RALPH: (covered in blood) Look at me, I'm cable TV!
_________________________________________________

HOMER: Maybe, just once, someone will call me "sir" without adding "you're making a scene."


Too many others to think of right now. The Simpsons is the best show on television.

BART: Good job, dad, you killed zombie Flanders!
HOMER: Flanders was a zombie?

LOL, that was a classic.

Bart and Milhaus watching a bootleg tape of a drunk Mr. Rogers - "Waddyamean I can't take off my sweater? I'M HOT!"
------------
A King Kong parody in one of the Halloween episodes, Burns and Smithers discuss whether they should bring Marge along on the journey.
Smithers: Well sir, I don't think women and seamen should mix.
Burns: Yes, we all know what you think.
------------
Nelson slugs Bart in the stomach because his name wasn't on the credits of the Krusty show as he bragged about.
Nelson: This is for taking credit for other people's work!
------------
Homer is watching a news report about a group of children staging a revolution at Krusty camp.
Homer: Don't be the boy. Don't be the boy. Don't be the boy.
The news camera shows Bart sitting on a throne.
Homer: Doh!
------------
Ron Howard: Homer, we're out of vodka!
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Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such nature films as 'Earwigs, Ew!',
and 'Man Versus Nature: The Road to Victory!'.

Homer: Lisa! Never ever stop in the middle of a How-Down...

Ralph Wiggum: Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers...

Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such educational films as: "Lead Paint - Delicious, but Deadly," and "Here Comes the Metric System!"

Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such self-help videos as "Smoke Yourself Thin" and "Get Confident, Stupid!"

---------------------------------------

Homer: Marge, I swear I didn't touch her. You know how bashful I am -- I can't even say the word "titmouse" without giggling like a schoolgirl. Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!

A drunken Homer to Marge: "That's no way to talk to Sir Drinks-A-Lot!"

------------------

Some more Homerisms:

"Forget it Marge, it's Chinatown."

"I call the big one Bitey"

"It's time for the Erotic Adventures of Homercles!"

"Mmmm...forbidden donut...aghghghghgh"

"Heh heh heh...you're gay."

"It's funny because it's true."

Apu: "Shiva H. Vishnu"

Willie: ""Bonjourrrr! You cheese-eating surrender monkeys!"

Bart: "Can't sleep, clown'll eat me."

Homer: "Or what? You'll release the dogs, or the bees, or the dogs with bees in their mouths, and when they bark they shoot bees at you?"

Homer: "The doll's trying to kill me and the toaster's been laughing at me!" (splash) "Blaaarg! Eww... dog water."

Homer: "Kill my boss?! Do I dare live out the American Dream?"

Homer: "I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff! And I want in."

Barney: "Whoa! Someone smells stinky!" (sniffs self) "Oh, it's me."

[Edited by CheapBastid on 02-27-01 at 04:56 PM]

Ohh man I love that scene. Comic Store Man is my favorite Simpsons character.

As for quotes... how about:

Homer: HEAR YE HEAR YE! Old Town Crier proclaimed crappy by all!
---
Homer:You suck-diddly-uck Flanders!
---
Smithers: I'm allergic to bee stings, sir. They cause me to, well... die.
---
Flanders: *high pitched squeal* Purple drapes! All my life I wanted PURPLE DRAPES! *squeal*

Social Worker: "Stupid babies need the most attention."

Halloween episode in Burn's mansion:
Lisa: "Dad, do you notice anything weird about him?"
Homer: "Yeah...his haircut is so gay."
Burns: "I heard that!"
Homer: "It was the boy!"

Homer trying to pronounce Uruguay.
Homer: "U-Are-Gay..hee hee hee..."

"Hey baby, how do you feel about 40 yr-old virgins who still live with their parents? "

"Sure...just comb the cheesepuffs out of your beard and I'm all yours"

".....don't try to change me baby"

<small>or something along those lines</small>

Sideshow Bob as he's being taken away to jail...

Bob: "You can't keep the democrats out of the White House forever...soon they'll be back in. And then I'll be back out on the streets, along with all my criminal buddies."

Homer: "Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked."

Marge: "Homer, watch your mouth!"

Homer: "Uh, I gotta go - my damn wiener kids are listening..."

When it comes to stress, I believe laughter is the best medicine. You know before I learned to chuckle mindlessly I was headed for an early grave myself. Ah, he, hee,hee!

Nobody snuggles with Max Power. You strap yourself in and feel the "G"s!

if you don't like me , bite me !

Marge: "What do you kids want to do with your hundred dollars?"
Lisa: "I'm going to donate mine to PBS!"
Bart: "There's a special, one hundred tacos for one hundred bucks!"
Marge: "Tacos? Public broadcasting? I won't have you wasting your money."

------------

Homer: "There's three ways to do things:
the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way!"
Bart: "Isn't that the wrong way?"
Homer: "Yes! But faster!"

Homer (something leading to: ...beer
Native: Be-er?
Homer: Oh God Oh God Oh God!
Natives: Oh God Oh God Oh God!


Bart: Out of my way, I'm Hitler!


Homer: Take it outside, God-boy!


BTW, it's Comic Book GUY, not Comic Book Man.