Ralph Wiggum: "I bent my Wookie"

[Edited by Iron Chef on 02-23-01 at 01:48 PM]

Well if it isn't my good friend, Mr. McCraig, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg!

Ned Flanders: "Congratulations Bart. You've reached the level of p*ssy willow."



Self-edited because the forum won't let you say p*ssy willow!

A classic conversation:

Comic Store Man: Yes, finally. I would like to return your quote-unquote ultimate belt.

Salesman: I see, do you have a receipt, quote-unquote sir?

Comic Store Man: No, I do not have a receipt. I won it as a door prize at the Star Trek convention, although I find their choice of prize highly illogical, as the average trekker has no use for a medium size belt.

Salesman: Whoa, whoa, a fat, sarcastic Star Trek fan! You must be a devil with the ladies.

Comic Store Man: Hey, I, uh, de-oh....

Salesman: Gee, I hate to let you down, Casanova, but no receipt, no return.

Bart: I'll give you five bucks for it.

Comic Store Man Huuuh. Very well. I must hurry back to my Comic Book Store where I dispense the insults rather than absorb them.

"To alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems." - Homer Simpson.

Bart: "Milhouse, there's no such thing as a soul, it just something made up to scare us kids like the boogieman or Michael Jackson"

Lisa (reading invitation): "Come to Homer's BBBQ. The extra B is for BYOBB."

Bart: What's that extra B for?

Homer: That's a typo.

Homer: (after being contaminated by radiation): Aaarrggghh! Must destroy mankind! (watch alarm goes off) Oooh! Lunchtime! (shakes off the radiation)

Marge: This all seems a little elaborate for sloppy joes…hmm, I know what the other 11 forks are for, but what do you do with this one?

Homer: Why Marge, I do believe you’re supposed to scratch your asswith it.


And of course, my sig...

Milhouse "Uhhh...my shirt fell off"

The trillion dollar bill episode.

Homer: "Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation."

"I once knew a man from Nantucket...
Let's just say the story is greatly exaggerated."


Said by the one, the only...Homer J. Simpson

Krusty: "Heyyy Kids! Today we're going to talk about Krusty's expensive new suit. His sexual harrasment suit!"

"Cheese!"
"Good morning, agent Johnson."

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"I refuse to believe that people refuse to believe the truth!"

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"I guess we'll just have to... agree to disagree!"
"I disagree with that."
"So do I."

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"All I have is Gore Vidal, and even he's kissed more boys than I have."
"Girls, Lisa, boys kiss girls."


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"Hamburger... earmuffs!"

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"Hey boy, can you cook dinner?"
"Can I?!!!"

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You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.

Homer-"Lisa would you like a donut."
Lisa-"Don't you have any fruit?"
Homer-"This one has purple stuff in it...purple's a fruit."

Lisa: Remember Dad, no solids!

Homer: But I love solids. To sandwich This is all your fault. Oh, how can I stay mad at you!

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While Buzz Aldrin and the other astronaut (can't remember) are humming The Battle Hymn of the Republic during a rough part of the shuttle flight, Homer sings:

Oh those Golden Grahams. Delicious Golden Grahams. Crispy crunchy graham cereal, brand new breakfast treat.

Homer: Even Jack Nicholson himself couldn't make that shot.
Burns: What are you waiting for? Use an open faced club...a sand wedge.
Homer: Ummmmm...openfaced club sandwhich

Homer: Oh Lisa! You and your stories! Bart's a vampire! Beer kills brain cells! Now let's go back to that...building...thingie...where our beds and TV...is.

"First you didn't want me to get the pony. Now you want me to take it back. Make up your mind Marge."

Homer: "Ten thousand dollars!?! If I had ten thousand dollars I'd be a millionaire!"

Marge: It's time for the church picnic
Homer: What? They had a picnic last week
Marge: No they didn't, you just brought a bucket of chicken to church
Homer: If God didn't want us to eat in church, He would have made gluttony a sin

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"When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie -- Spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing. Like that movie -- Police Academy."

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"I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.'"

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"Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding: 'you're making a scene.'"

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Marge: The plant called. They said if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in on Monday.
Homer: Woohoo! Four-day weekend!

"It's time to get Homer-sexual!"

Troy McClure: Have you ever wondered why fat parents have fat children? Or why Chinese parents have Chinese children? It's no coincidence.

[Edited by annointed1 on 02-23-01 at 11:47 PM]

Milhouse: It started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended in tragedy.