Ralph: "Hi Principle Skinner, hi Super Nintendo Chalmers"

Homer: "mmmm, floor pie"

Burns: "Smithers, there's a rocket in my pocket!"
Smithers: "Oh, you don't have to tell me, sir"

[subtle]
Mayor Quimby: "Ich bin ein Springfielder."
Homer: "Mmmmm. Jelly Donuts."
[/subtle]

I love the entire exchange w/ Bob the RV salesman from "Call of the Simpsons" in s1.

But I found it especially funny when:

Homer, "Is that a good siren?"
Bob, "You ever known a siren to be good?"

Ned: And harry potter and all of his friends burned in hell :throws book in fire:

Homer, as he is heading deaper into the ocean in a lift bucket truck. Looking up into the sky.

"I don't know if you're really up there. But if you are, please save me Superman!"

Wow there are so many.

"This gun has cost me everything, my friends, my family, everything but my precious, precious gun."


Bart falls from the top of pool

NELSON: Ha, ha!

Lisa: Bart is really hurt!

NELSON: I said "ha, ha."


"I could walk right up to the president and blow smoke in his monkey face, and he would have to just sit there and groove on it."

From the same episode: "Ahhh, I could have smoked that pot, and worn that hair."


"I've seen the man eat a bowl of change."


"Don't quit your day job, Chief, whatever that is!"


"It taste like burning."

Some great snippets I use weekly:

...makes baby jesus cry

craptacular

214 pointing out police stupidity, or is that a 213?

Mayor Quimby: "Those pictures don't scare me...that could be anybody's ass!"

Homer - "Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me..."

Moe - "And I'm a well-wisher, in that I don't wish you any specific type of harm."

In the Mr. Plow episode when Homer is like:

(To himself) - Don't tell him you were at a bar! Gasp! But what else is open at night?

(aloud) - It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.

(To himself) - Heh heh heh. I would'a never thought of that.

Angry mob : "2, 4, 6, 8 Homer's crime was really great......By great we mean large or immense, we use it in the pejorative sense."

Hank Scorpio: Ever see a guy say good-bye to a shoe?

Homer: [chuckles] Yes, once.

Worker: Hot stuff! Coming through.
Bart: Dad, why did you bring me to a gay steel mill?

Robot engulfed in flames, fleeing from a burning lab...

"Why!?!...Why was I programmed to feel PAIN!?!"

Ralph: "Dying tickles!"

Kang and Kodos (from "Gump Roast"): "We've been watching your planet since it was created. Five thousand years ago. By God."

The episode where Bart and Lisa find the bum who really invented Itchy and Scratchy:

"As long as I've got my millions of dollars, and my solid gold house, and my rocket car, I don't need anything."

Cheif Wiggum: "ide rather let a 1000 guilty men go freel, then try"

"HELP ME, GEE-BUS!"

"Elmo knows where you live!"

"Oh yeah, drugs, gotta have drugs."

"UMMMM, YES?"

More:

"Look at them son, theose land lovers, who'll never know the simple joy of a monkey knife fight."

"And you see son, that's where they rebroadcast Major League Baseball with implied oral consent, instead of express written permission."

"Lisa: What if someone really wants non-alcoholic beer?

Apu: Oddly the situation has never come up."

Twin Girls: "I'm so hungry...I could eat at Arby's."

Ralph - "I bent my Wookie" or something like that.

Mr. Burns (as Homer is turning circles on the nuclear plants board room floor like the Three Stooges Curly Neil)

"Perhaps I've overestimated this Simpson fellow"

Homer to Bart: "you lie on the ground and cry like a little girl. When the other guy turns from you in disgust, then it's time to kick some back"

MMMMmmmmm........Beer. MMMMMmmmmm.......donuts. MMMMmmmmmmm.........Beer flavored donuts.

[to paraphrase] You tried and you failed miserably. The moral is.....never try.


D'OH!!!

Moe to date: "Baby, I'm gonna take you out and buy you a steak the size of a toilet seat!"

Mr. Burns: "I want this delivered by auto-gyro to the Prussian consulate in Siam!"

Mr. Burns: "Oscar Schindler and I are like two peas in a pod----we both owned factories, and we both made shells for the Nazis-----only mine worked, dammit!"

Mr. Burns, making small talk at a party: ".....so I foreclosed on her mortgage, AND I took all of her cats! hehhheheheheh."

Store clerk to Comic Book Guy: "Ehhh, a fat, sarcastic Star Trek fan----you must be a devil with the ladies."

Homer singing "Stealing, stealing, stealing a car for Moe, dun da dah dah da da dun...insurance fraud today."

Ned: God speed, little doodle.