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Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

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Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

Old 06-27-18, 09:04 AM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

Originally Posted by tanman
...Neither side makes sense. It would seem that Dykstra had a terrible time with Hardwick and it seems as if she doesn't have anything to gain by making stuff up against him...

Did you know who Dykstra was 2 weeks ago? This could have happened or she could be a not be getting work think Chris is blacklisting her or she could be blaming her lack of work on Chris and get her name out there to the world.
Old 06-27-18, 09:51 AM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

Originally Posted by tanman
That certainly casts a shadow of doubt on Dykstra's story. Neither side makes sense. It would seem that Dykstra had a terrible time with Hardwick and it seems as if she doesn't have anything to gain by making stuff up against him. But on the other hand two people he had extensive relationships with have come out in defense of him who also have no reason to falsely defend him. Maybe this was just a bad break-up gone really bad?
No, what it shows is what I tried to explain earlier - different people bring out different behaviors out of different people. You can be the sweetest person to one person, and an absolute monster to another. And yes, this is your fault, not the other person for bringing out this "beast" in you.
Old 06-27-18, 09:53 AM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

I can see the point but I have a hard time believing that someone who's able to sexually abuse another person is capable of being a perfectly fine partner for everyone else they've been with (considering the comments we've seen so far). Abusers aren't really able to pick and choose who they abuse; it's part of who they are.
Old 06-27-18, 10:24 AM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

Originally Posted by Noonan
I can see the point but I have a hard time believing that someone who's able to sexually abuse another person is capable of being a perfectly fine partner for everyone else they've been with (considering the comments we've seen so far). Abusers aren't really able to pick and choose who they abuse; it's part of who they are.
People can change, though. And he married an heiress to a fortune, so I'm sure he had to act at least a bit differently when courting her (but I don't know for sure).
Old 06-27-18, 10:30 AM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

Can abusers change in both directions though? Other women who have spoken out dated him before Dykstra. So based on reports we have, he was a normal partner before and is a good husband now; yet he mentally and sexually abused Dykstra only? Seems a bit too specific.

I could be naive here but I can't imagine someone could abuse a woman for years yet never abused anyone before or after. IMO people capable of doing something like that can't turn it off/on at will. It's an impulse. If he's not getting the "release" of abusing someone now, where is all that rage going?
Old 06-27-18, 11:01 AM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

They can change but with now 3 people he has been in long term relationships with and 2 of them were prior to Chloe and his wife after all say they experienced nothing like Chloe is claiming is at least enough to cause people to have questions about the accusation. Doesn't mean it didn't happen the way she claims, but it is weird how the other people in relationships with him had totally different experiences.

Usually people repeat behaviors or patterns so it seems strange that this was a one off. It is even weirder how initially there was claims of proof but when people started doubting the story and Chris leaked those texts that at least appear to damage her credibility, she has since backed off and now is saying she just wants to move on and forget about it.

This is a tough one because I don't think any of the other accused people have had multiple long term intimate partners come to their defense like in this case unless I missed something.
Old 06-27-18, 11:09 AM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

That's my reasoning as well. Other than his wife, did any women who dated Cosby defend him? Anyone defend Harvey?

I'll gladly eat my words if more detail comes out but this smells like a quick grasp at 15min of fame gone too far; potentially encouraged and/or pushed by her new BF. If he really did what she says he did, she wouldn't want to just forget it and make it go away.
Old 06-27-18, 11:26 AM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

Originally Posted by slop101
No, what it shows is what I tried to explain earlier - different people bring out different behaviors out of different people. You can be the sweetest person to one person, and an absolute monster to another. And yes, this is your fault, not the other person for bringing out this "beast" in you.
Been there.
Old 06-27-18, 11:32 AM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

To me unless more details or evidence comes out, it reads as a young girl who dated a older guy who was focused on work and like things a certain way and she went along with it because she was young and naive and as she has gotten older and had different relationship experiences realizes she wouldn't put up with it now. However you cannot blame the other person for choices you made just because you were young and maybe naive. You cannot apply the wisdom that age and experience brings to things that happened in your youth because you may make different choices now. You don't get to edit your past and blame others for things you agreed to at the time because you now changed your mind.

Again this is simply my impression based on the information that has come out so far and I am more than willing to change my opinion about this situation. I am speaking as a survivor of years of abuse of all kinds so i am sensitive to fellow survivors and what I have read about Chloe's claims just do not rise to the level of abuse that most of these other predators are accused of.
Old 06-27-18, 11:43 AM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

the simplest explanation is that his current wife is using her wealth to blackmail his former girlfriends into saying he was a nice guy. :P
Old 06-27-18, 11:50 AM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

And now a third ex has come forward...

Andrea Savage is coming to Chris Hardwick‘s defense amid allegations of emotional abuse and sexual assault brought against him by ex-girlfriend Chloe Dykstra.

“I’ve known Chris for over 15 years. We dated years and years ago,” Savage tells PEOPLE. “He is one of the kindest, most supportive, women-supporting, intelligent people I’ve ever met.”

Based on her own experiences with Hardwick, Savage, 45, says she did not recognize the person described in Dykstra’s post.

“None of this rang true in terms of my experience with him,” she says. “He’s truly one of the least controlling people. That’s not the Chris I know.”

Savage dated Hardwick from 2002 to 2003 and the two have remained close friends in the years since. The actress reached out to him shortly after the allegations first surfaced.

“I was just like, ‘Hey, I’m sure you’re having a really, really terrible day. Just wanted to say you have support out there if you need it,’ ” she says.

Savage says she ultimately decided to speak out on Hardwick’s behalf out of a greater concern for the #MeToo movement. She doesn’t want people to feel afraid of standing up for those they love.

“I feel like we’re suddenly in this environment where people are able to publicly name and accuse you of things, but then nobody else is allowed to give their experience with that person and defend their character,” she explains. “If you’re a woman and you say something like this, you’re not supportive of women and against the MeToo movement. If you’re a man, forget it, you can’t say anything.”

She continues: “I feel like the MeToo movement is so important, and it’s such a fragile platform on social media and the Internet for women whose voices are not being heard and literally, have no where else to turn. I feel like as much as we’re calling on men to take responsibility, women need to, as well, to protect this channel because it is powerful. When you say something, it has serious repercussions.”

But despite her own relationship with Hardwick, Savage does say that if he is guilty of any inappropriate behavior, he should have to face the consequences.

“If he’s done something criminal, he’s got to be called to it,” she says. “I just felt like, ‘You know what? This doesn’t feel right.’ Even if something is true, that doesn’t change my 17-year history with him.”

Dykstra, 29, wrote about her painful experience with sexual assault in an emotional first-person essay earlier this month, although she never named her former boyfriend.

In the essay, titled “Rose-Colored Glasses: A Confession,” the TV personality doesn’t name the subject, though certain key details led many fans on Twitter to believe that she was referring to ex-boyfriend Hardwick, 46.

Hours after Dykstra’s claims went public, Hardwick gave a statement obtained by PEOPLE saying he made sure to take time to respond to the “very serious allegations.”

“I was heartbroken to read Chloe’s post. Our three-year relationship was not perfect — we were ultimately not a good match and argues — even shouted at each other — but I loved her and did my best to uplift and support her as a partner and companion in any way and at no time did I sexually assault her,” said Hardwick.
Pretty much seals it for me. I believe Chloe is nothing but a bitter ex looking for 15 minutes of fame.

https://people.com/tv/chris-hardwick...t-allegations/
Old 06-27-18, 11:54 AM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

Based on these three reports, what reasoning would AMC have to keep him off air at this point? Considering he still has yet to be named by the accuser.
Old 06-27-18, 12:13 PM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

Originally Posted by Noonan
Based on these three reports, what reasoning would AMC have to keep him off air at this point? Considering he still has yet to be named by the accuser.
Still doing their own investigating?
Old 06-27-18, 12:16 PM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

On what and with whom? The only story which has spawned all of this didn't mention his name. They talking to her chatty BF?
Old 06-27-18, 01:14 PM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

Originally Posted by windom
Aisha Tyler brought up Chris Hardwick at the start of AMC's "Unapologetic" last night at the start of the show. My DVR cut off in the middle of what she was saying when it switched from Dietland to her show, so I didn't completely catch what she said. I heard her say that Chris has been her friend. I think she said their show wouldn't shy away from discussing the topic, but they didn't bring it up the rest of the show. Hopefully, it pops up on YouTube so I can hear the whole thing. It might be on demand also.
As you may know, AMC host Chris Hardwick was recently accused of abuse by his ex-girlfriend Chloe Dykstra. In response, Chris issued a statement denying those allegations. AMC has said that while they assess the situation fully, Talking with Chris Hardwick will not air on the network going forward. In the interest of full disclosure, I have known Chris professionally and personally for many years. I consider him a good friend. I say this because I want to be open and clear about my relationship to Chris, and I want people to know that you can know and like someone and still reserve judgment on behavior of theirs of which you have no firsthand knowledge. I share the concerns expressed by the network and the public over these very serious claims. Unapologetic is and will remain a place to discuss all issues relevant to women, no matter how close to home they may hit. We take our responsibility seriously, and we will continue to monitor this story.
Old 06-27-18, 01:54 PM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

Originally Posted by Cusm
Did you know who Dykstra was 2 weeks ago? This could have happened or she could be a not be getting work think Chris is blacklisting her or she could be blaming her lack of work on Chris and get her name out there to the world.
I only knew of her before this media storm because her father designed the lightsaber for Star Wars.
Old 06-27-18, 04:59 PM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

She was on that cosplay show on Sci-Fi and also used to game in the nude, while streaming it....
Old 06-27-18, 05:08 PM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

Hardwick hasn't posted anything on social media, including Twitter since the 14th and he was fairly active before this shit came down.

Guessing his lawyer must have told him to keep his mouth shut for awhile. I know a few of these people who tried to defend themselves on social media only made things worse.
Old 06-27-18, 05:49 PM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

How Pixar’s Open Sexism Ruined My Dream Job (Guest Column)
https://variety.com/2018/film/news/p...ic-1202858982/
Old 06-27-18, 07:23 PM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

Originally Posted by dex14
How Pixar’s Open Sexism Ruined My Dream Job (Guest Column)
https://variety.com/2018/film/news/p...ic-1202858982/
Wow, that's intense. How did Lasseter get away with it for so many years? Because the top bosses deemed him too valuable to rein in until the #MeToo movement chipped away at that value. What would it have taken for Disney boss Robert Iger to call Lasseter in and read him the riot act and tell him to change his ways or go? Why can't even one executive with that kind of power use that power correctly? I don't get it.

And what about guys like the mentor described here? What are his responsibilities? Who's going to stand up for these women if men like him won't do it? I'm not blaming him. I understand that he probably had no real power and would have suffered just as much if he'd challenged the predominant culture. What a horrible position to be in.
The lengthy negative column listed things like, “designs too many options; seems like she’s trying too hard; asks too many questions.” When I shared the document with my candid male mentor, who openly acknowledged the culture of sexism at Pixar, he said, “If you were a man, every one of those negatives would be in the positive column.”
Old 06-28-18, 01:33 PM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

Originally Posted by Matto1020
“I feel like we’re suddenly in this environment where people are able to publicly name and accuse you of things, but then nobody else is allowed to give their experience with that person and defend their character,” she explains. “If you’re a woman and you say something like this, you’re not supportive of women and against the MeToo movement. If you’re a man, forget it, you can’t say anything.”
Hell, this thread contains several examples of this.
Old 06-28-18, 02:10 PM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

Originally Posted by DaveNinja
the simplest explanation is that his current wife is using her wealth to blackmail his former girlfriends into saying he was a nice guy. :P
That’s the simplest explanation?

Without knowing much of anything about these people I would guess that Dykstra has been having a tough time moving up in the industry, was feeling sorry for herself, thought back to her rough breakup and decided that rather than this business being a one-in-a-millions success rate, she would blame Hardwick.

Is that what happened? Who knows but it seems more likely than a vast conspiracy rippling through Hollywood at a time when conspiracies aren’t necessarily needed to ruin someone’s career.
Old 06-28-18, 02:51 PM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

Originally Posted by printerati
Hell, this thread contains several examples of this.
Bullshit. Where do you see anyone keeping Hardwick quiet? Hell, we'd all love to hear his side AND see her proof. What you DO see are some people actively defending Chris H, and others who are saying she "could be" telling the truth. And NONE of the latter have told Chris to shut up or that they don't want to hear his side. That is not the same as "men can't say anything".

I think one of the many things MeToo has exposed is how actually giving the benefit of doubt to accusers is still a strange and uncomfortable thing to many...
Old 06-28-18, 02:54 PM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

Originally Posted by GoldenJCJ
That’s the simplest explanation?

Without knowing much of anything about these people I would guess that Dykstra has been having a tough time moving up in the industry, was feeling sorry for herself, thought back to her rough breakup and decided that rather than this business being a one-in-a-millions success rate, she would blame Hardwick.

Is that what happened? Who knows but it seems more likely than a vast conspiracy rippling through Hollywood at a time when conspiracies aren’t necessarily needed to ruin someone’s career.
Well I guess if she suddenly gets a new TV show or cast in a huge Hollywood film...we'll know she lied.

#blamehimforrapeandabuse
#moveupinhollywoodviaMeToo
Old 06-28-18, 02:55 PM
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re: Sexual Harassment/Assault & Abuse in Hollywood -- Discussion

I have no issue giving the benefit to the accuser if their story has enough detail to be believable.

My issue with this particular story relates back to the Duke Lacrosse case. Those kids were ruined based on one story before any investigation was done. In this case, Chris wasn't even named and he's already taken the fall. Due process should still be a thing. Even if she were to come out and say she lied about everything, it would still be super awkward for him to go back on air as if nothing happened. The damage is done.

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