The Ultimate Seinfeld Quotes Thread...
10-16-01, 12:57 AM
#27
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Re: Favorite George lines
Originally posted by Jboone
"You are killing independent George!"
"A George divided against himself can not stand!"
"You are killing independent George!"
"A George divided against himself can not stand!"
- thanks!"Everyone! Under the desk!" - Steinbrenner (sp?)
"I'm out!" - Kramer (slapping money on the counter)
"I thought it was milk!" - Kramer (I've seen the episode at least 10 times now, and I just about die everytime he pours the juice)
"Newmanium"
"You know what would make a great coffee table book? A coffee table book about coffee tables!" - Kramer
"Once in my life I would like the upper hand. I have no hand. No hand at all. She has the hand. I have no hand." - George
"Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint -- it's delicious!" - Kramer
"Why couldn't you make me an architect? You know I always wanted to pretend that I was an architect." - George
"Men can sit through the most pointless, boring movie if there's even the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off." - Elaine
"You remember this: When you control the mail, you control information!" - Newman
"Fish... What do they do?" - George
"What do you do?" - Elaine
"Ohhh the humanity!" - Newman
"I'm out there Jerry, and I'm LOVIN' it!" - Kramer
Kramer: "You're a rabid anti-dentite! Oh, it starts with a few jokes, and some slurs. 'Hey, Denty!' Next thing, you know, you're saying they should have their own schools."
Jerry: "They do have their own schools!"
Kramer: "Yeahaha!"
10-16-01, 01:51 AM
#30
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Kramer- "Poor little Pinkus..." (I love that line)
Georges Answering Machine (to theme for Greatest American Hero) : "Believe it or not, Geroge isn't home, so leave a message at the beep. If I was there I'd answer the phone. Where could I be? Believe it or not, I'm not home."
Georges Answering Machine (to theme for Greatest American Hero) : "Believe it or not, Geroge isn't home, so leave a message at the beep. If I was there I'd answer the phone. Where could I be? Believe it or not, I'm not home."
10-16-01, 04:25 PM
#32
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- hey, george. the ocean called. they're running out of shrimp.
- oh, yeah. the jerk store called. they're running out of you!
- what difference does it make? you're their number one seller.
- well, i slept with your wife!
- oh, yeah. the jerk store called. they're running out of you!
- what difference does it make? you're their number one seller.
- well, i slept with your wife!
10-16-01, 04:25 PM
#33
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WOMAN: You don't know my name, do you?
JERRY: Yes I do.
WOMAN: What is it?
JERRY: It, uh, rhymes with a female body part.
WOMAN: What is it?
JERRY: Mulva...
(She gets up to leave)
JERRY: Gipple? .... Loleola? .... Oh! Oh! Delores!
JERRY: It's Risk. It's a game of world domination being played by two guys who can barely run their own lives. (referring to Kramer and Newman)
JERRY: Yes I do.
WOMAN: What is it?
JERRY: It, uh, rhymes with a female body part.
WOMAN: What is it?
JERRY: Mulva...
(She gets up to leave)
JERRY: Gipple? .... Loleola? .... Oh! Oh! Delores!
JERRY: It's Risk. It's a game of world domination being played by two guys who can barely run their own lives. (referring to Kramer and Newman)
10-16-01, 04:35 PM
#34
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George: Guys, hitting is not about muscle. It's simple physics. Calculate the velocity, v, in relation to the trajectory, t, in which g, gravity, of course remains a constant. [Hits a home run] It's not complicated.
Derek Jeter: Now, who are you again?
George: George Costanza, assistant to the traveling secretary.
Bernie Williams: Are you the guy who put us in that Ramada in Milwaukee?
George: Do you wanna talk about hotels, or do you wanna win some ball games?
Derek Jeter: We won the World Series.
George:
In six games.
Derek Jeter: Now, who are you again?
George: George Costanza, assistant to the traveling secretary.
Bernie Williams: Are you the guy who put us in that Ramada in Milwaukee?
George: Do you wanna talk about hotels, or do you wanna win some ball games?
Derek Jeter: We won the World Series.
George:
In six games.
10-16-01, 06:18 PM
#35
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Kramer: "I'm like ice baby; I don't like you, you got problems!"
Frank: "Jerry, Mr. Steinbrenner is here! George is dead! Call me!" BEEP!
and later, in the hot tub:
"How can you trade Jay Buhner for Ken Phelps?!"
Steinbrenner's first line: "Hire this man!"
and I'm a Mets fan so....
George: "You're making wise cracks in some bar; he was in game six!"
Cosmo: "He asked you to help him move? You just met the guy!"
Jerry: "Listen, don't tell anybody, OK?"
Cosmo: "I wish you hadn't told me!"
Newman: "Nice game, pretty boy!"
Jerry: "I'm jealous of everybody."
Frank: "Jerry, Mr. Steinbrenner is here! George is dead! Call me!" BEEP!
and later, in the hot tub:
"How can you trade Jay Buhner for Ken Phelps?!"
Steinbrenner's first line: "Hire this man!"
and I'm a Mets fan so....
George: "You're making wise cracks in some bar; he was in game six!"
Cosmo: "He asked you to help him move? You just met the guy!"
Jerry: "Listen, don't tell anybody, OK?"
Cosmo: "I wish you hadn't told me!"
Newman: "Nice game, pretty boy!"
Jerry: "I'm jealous of everybody."
10-17-01, 10:16 AM
#39
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Kramer: But Jerry! You're going to be the first pirate!
Jerry: BUT I DON'T WANNA BE A PIRATE!
"And now you're going to need it!"
Jerry: BUT I DON'T WANNA BE A PIRATE!
Originally posted by Jon Turner
"Once in my life I would like the upper hand. I have no hand. No hand at all. She has the hand. I have no hand." - George
"Once in my life I would like the upper hand. I have no hand. No hand at all. She has the hand. I have no hand." - George
10-17-01, 11:27 AM
#40
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George: (reads card)In lieu of a gift, we have made a donation in your name to the Children's Alliance ... I got him Yankee tickets and he gets me a card saying he gave my gift to someone else. Don't you see how wrong this is. An eye for an eye.
Yada yada yada
Airport worker: I know what a reservation is.
Jerry: I don't think you do. You know how to take a reservation. You just don't know how to hold a reservation. The holding is the hardest part. Anybody can just take'em.
Puddy: That's right.
Yada yada yada
Airport worker: I know what a reservation is.
Jerry: I don't think you do. You know how to take a reservation. You just don't know how to hold a reservation. The holding is the hardest part. Anybody can just take'em.
Puddy: That's right.
10-17-01, 12:34 PM
#41
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K-Man:"I'm Dr. Vannostron from The Clinic."
Nurse:"Which Clinic sir?"
K-Man:"Yeah thats right.
K-Man: "It's Bettis right?"
Elaine: "It's Bennis you jack ass!"
Nurse:"Which Clinic sir?"
K-Man:"Yeah thats right.
K-Man: "It's Bettis right?"
Elaine: "It's Bennis you jack ass!"
10-17-01, 01:57 PM
#43
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"I look down and, oh man it's Mickey" - Kramer, after punching out Mickey Mantle.
"It's a binding social contract" - George, regarding an airport pickup
"Listen for the bell, Grosbard. It tolls for thee." - Kramer
"Come on Jerry, it's a lock" - Kramer, responding to George after George bets that 2 of the next 3 guys thinks the exterminator looks like Sugar Ray Leonard.
"May I have one of those, madam?" - Kramer, to George who is wearing ladies glasses.
"A blurb?!?!?! Look at the cover idiot!" - the fugitive that met George in the airport gift shop, where George got the last Time magazine since his name was mentioned in it.
so many more to name, too bad the last 3 years of the show stunk.
"It's a binding social contract" - George, regarding an airport pickup
"Listen for the bell, Grosbard. It tolls for thee." - Kramer
"Come on Jerry, it's a lock" - Kramer, responding to George after George bets that 2 of the next 3 guys thinks the exterminator looks like Sugar Ray Leonard.
"May I have one of those, madam?" - Kramer, to George who is wearing ladies glasses.
"A blurb?!?!?! Look at the cover idiot!" - the fugitive that met George in the airport gift shop, where George got the last Time magazine since his name was mentioned in it.
so many more to name, too bad the last 3 years of the show stunk.
10-17-01, 03:29 PM
#46
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Cinnamon! It should be on tables in restaurants along with salt and pepper! Anytime someone says, "Ooh, this is so good -- what's in this?" the answer invariably comes back, "cinnamon." Cinnamon! Again and again!