tanman

See the thing is that is still a difference between men and women. As an example my cousin was talking to me about minor league baseball teams and how some teams have team moms. I wasn't familiar with this so he explained that they are oftentimes older women who will bake cookies or provide support for the team or will sometimes even house the players temporarily if they are new to the area. Basically to help these young players. They might be sanctioned by the team but usually not on their payroll. They are just nice older ladies who want to help. I thought it was kind of peculiar but still sweet. Then I told him now replace minor league baseball with women's volleyball and replace team mom with team dad. It would be totally creepy if the genders were reversed. If we are being honest in general men are more sleazy than women. There is still a difference in gender. So my wife will drive the baby sitter home rather than I will just for appropriateness sake. Not that it's wrong for me to do it but if the option is there it's just better if she do it. Like some women are more comfortable with a woman GYN doc or masseuse.

Now when it comes to actual rape or grooming or any other kind of abuse then it is still wrong either way. But there are still things that would be perceived as appropriate for women to do that for men it wouldn't be.

melasnus

I'm just telling how it WAS in the 60s.
NO parent would have considering suing for damages.
It would have been laughed out of court and the family would have been ridiculed in their community for having a wuss as a son.
Things, of course, have changed.

LOL, not close.
Your avatar speaks volumes....

fujishig

17, as in this case, ok, I can maybe agree with you. But a male of any age can't be raped by a female?

GoldenJCJ

You do realize that there’s a 30+ page thread with 1300 posts in the Other forum discussing hot teachers who have banged their students, right?

I know we’re all trying to say PC things in this particular thread but let’s not pretend that DVDTalk suddenly became the moral compass of the internet since the #metoo movement began.

ViewAskewbian

Yeah, that Tom Servo is one vile motherfucker.

Trevor

Wow, that thread is still around? Smh
Yeah, not sure what that comment meant at all....

windom

Sorry, but I gotta ask. Did anyone get this DVDTalk reference?

Giantrobo

I guess my point is though traditionally men have been seen and proven to be the most likely sex when it comes to sexual predator behavior, we are clearly seeing more and more that women can be just as predatory. And when they are, society makes excuses(like I seem to have done for Asia) or in the case of many men, we infuse our own sexual fantasies into the conversation and we don't take it seriously...Hey, I've done that too.

I see lots of folks online talking about how Asia was abused at 17 by this older man, even though she was open to it. There seems to be a given amount of sympathy for her right off the bat. Yet have any of us asked if Harvey Wiestein was abused? I mean realistically he could have been the victim of abuse and as it's been mentioned, abused often become abusers. It would fit a recognized pattern of behavior.

of course, having been abused NEVER excuses the victim's abusing of others...

Mabuse

I guarantee you Harvey was sexually abused. Almost certainly by someone older, but near his age, who used the same kind of coercive “never take no for answer” techniques that he used on his victims.

slop101

Get the fuck out of here with your outdated, backwards bullshit!

We also had Jim Crow laws well into the '60s, and things, of course, have changed. For the better.

Or how about going back before child labor laws, where children would die working in factories and no parent would have considered suing for damages?

You are old and out of touch and thank god people like you aren't long for this world.

Noonan

While we're at it, I think we should go back to having the breakfast of real men; unfiltered cigarettes and a tall glass of margarine.

melasnus

Would a year, a month, a week, have made a difference?
Apparently some around here think it does.

We know live in a litigious society where the game is filing suits for family income.
Not so long ago the reaction to a 17 year old boy losing his virginity to someone older would have been greeted by Dad with a slap on the back and a comment like "Way to go, son."
Like I said, things have changed.

OF COURSE NOT.

Whatever you say, Clamps.

The problem with ranting is it's so easy to go off-topic...

The Valeyard

Mabuse

Uh, maybe a little excessive. He’s not celebrating the way it used to be, he’s just stating how things were.

slop101

How dare you!

This is Clamps:


It's like, everything you post is wrong!

Abob Teff

Oh ... damn. Now I’ve seen it all.


(Just razzing you Mabuse.)

melasnus

I know...and it's tragic, ain't it?

tanman

Yeah I understand and agree. But I also think that the stereotype is true and men are more likely to be an abuser than women. Therefore there is an unfair perception. But every case has to be taken seriously and when a victim is claiming abuse they should be listened to and the situation investigated no matter what their gender is.

B5Erik

My only problem with that is that the initial charges are front page news, but the exoneration is on page 10 below the fold. Very few people read/hear about the exoneration, but remember the charges.

That affects future employability.

Charges should not be made public until significant evidence is shown. But what we see in a lot of this is trying people in the court of public opinion, which - as I noted - leads to exonerations being unseen when they happen.

I don't want victims to not be taken seriously. But I also don't want innocent people's careers harmed by personal grudges that don't include true criminal activity. I don't know if there is a good solution for this situation.

EddieMoney

Explain to me why a MALE cannot be raped by a FEMALE.

andicus

It's a really tough situation. I think the early charges being front page news helps in getting other potential victims to come forward. That, of course, doesn't excuse exoneration taking a backseat.

story

We miss you, Eddie. And yes, you ask an excellent question.

DJariya

https://deadline.com/2018/08/asia-ar...es-1202452636/

Asia Argento fired from The X-Factor Italy.

But will still appear in pre-taped shows. She's out for live shows.

fujishig

It's probably true that the physical burden of sex has more ramifications on women, which is probably why we hold on to outdated conceptions of male vs. female rape (even something as seemingly innocuous as being less worried when your son is a teenager vs. your daughter). The psychological ramifications are the same, though, plus I think even those with outdated conceptions would still cry foul if the (older) woman introduced some sort of tool to use on the (younger) man.

tanman

That's true too. And that leads into the somewhat difficult to determine area of what is appropriate. But really I think a good mindset is if it could even look inappropriate from the outside don't do it. So workplace is easy. Don't say anything inappropriate and don't touch your coworkers unless you're friends outside of work.

I think the difficult situations become the relationships like the Chris Hardwick case. That's a real he said she said case and virtually impossible to find out what's true. Although in his specific case he has a lot of exes come to his defense which speaks volumes.