ROFL!!! Jokes thread!! (Mature?)

 
Old 07-23-01, 12:39 AM
  #26  
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Whats red and green and spins around and around?

Spoiler:
A frog in a blender
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Old 07-23-01, 01:09 AM
  #27  
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Hmmm, it seems like many of you are trying to pervert my good natured jokes. Sure, Vaporware was trying with his good natured and laughable jokes, however everyone else is just naughty!

Here's one my brother told me...

How did the duck feel about flying south for the winter?
Spoiler:
Fan-BIRD-tastic!!


And here's one I got out of Highlights for kids!

"Didja hear about the new courderoy pillow covers?"
"Nope"
"Hmmmmm, that's odd, they're making headlines"

LOL!!!!
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Old 07-23-01, 01:17 AM
  #28  
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These are the types of jokes that are funny because they're so stupid. More more more!
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Old 07-23-01, 01:25 AM
  #29  
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Why did the Canadian trip over his shoes in the morning?

Spoiler:
He didn't have his contact in yet!!!!
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Old 07-23-01, 01:29 AM
  #30  
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What do you call the female child of the woman who helps you while you're pregnant? Also the woman is from Boston and the child is sort of oddly tall shaped.

Spoiler:
- My doula's oblong daughtah.


more can be found here, click on "bad jokes"
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Old 07-24-01, 11:45 PM
  #31  
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Originally posted by ClarkKentKY
Who was the most feared of all pirates....
Blackbeard.... .... .... ..... ....

Yeah, then what!?!?!

... This reminds me of a Cosby episode.


Krusty the Clown: "Well Kent, i've found its not dirty words that get the biggest laugh, its words that SOUND dirty... like muckluck.... you like that, muckluck"
(I really hate explaining comedy [sigh]) You see. Blackbeard would destroy many villages, and rape the women. Thus, this made him the most feared!
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Old 07-25-01, 12:09 AM
  #32  
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Originally posted by Finster5000



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.........you just made me go to the restroom prematurely.
This has always been one of my favorites Thanks for making me laugh out loud, even though i had a crappy day.

-pedagogue
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Old 09-23-01, 08:19 PM
  #33  
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Oooh oooh, I got another one!! (It's a knock knock joke this time)

Knock knock

Who's there?

Kevin!

Kevin who?

Kevin we go out an play now??
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Old 09-23-01, 08:40 PM
  #34  
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What do you call a fly with no wings?

Spoiler:
a walk
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Old 10-08-01, 01:14 AM
  #35  
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Originally posted by mjquilly
why do women have babies?

Spoiler:
because it's painful and they deserve it
That is very offensive.
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Old 10-08-01, 01:24 AM
  #36  
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Originally posted by WhoGirl


That is very offensive.
Eh,it definately wasn't very tasteful.
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Old 10-08-01, 01:28 AM
  #37  
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I thought it was pretty funny, for the same reason the others are funny: it's stupid, and obviously stupid.
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Old 10-08-01, 01:31 AM
  #38  
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Originally posted by uberjoe
I thought it was pretty funny, for the same reason the others are funny: it's stupid, and obviously stupid.
Yeah, well you're not a woman. He was basically saying that women deserve to be in pain, and I found that to be extremely offensive.
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Old 10-08-01, 01:34 AM
  #39  
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True, I am not a woman. Also, I understood the joke. Still, I think it is funny due to its stupidity. No one got mad about the nun with a spear in her head joke, and I'm sure we have at least a few Catholics here. And what about the dead baby jokes? No fuss there.
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Old 10-08-01, 01:43 AM
  #40  
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Oh, I forgot to mention, the original jokes were the most horrid jokes I've ever heard
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Old 10-08-01, 01:49 AM
  #41  
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Mods, can you revoke Wazootyman's "Senior Member" status for bringing those horrible jokes to the Otter?

Maybe we need a separate "tasteless jokes" thread? I have the ultimate tasteless joke, but I don't think I want to post it in here. Or anywhere in the forum, for that matter... don't wanna get [BANNED].

[img]http://communities.msn.com/_Secure/0PwAgAKQTPqkO1dr*q6Epi6Vg*hhUa0hDISa7u3u5FR*sG3fR8jGR8V6J!oPgfMjmGxaxFE5dAAgfjNZmHZJp4AOLBgCuv*Oy/frankie.gif[/img]
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Old 10-08-01, 01:50 AM
  #42  
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What goes "Mark! Mark!"

I dont know how to do the blackout thing so...
...... a dog with a hairlip


What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a tree?
I dont know how to do the blackout thing so...
...... Barry


What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hangin on the wall?
I dont know how to do the blackout thing so...
...... Art


What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs hangin on the wall?
I dont know how to do the blackout thing so...
...... Curt 'n Rod

Why did the leper fail his driving test?
I dont know how to do the blackout thing so...
...... Left his foot on the gas

What do ya get when you put four lepers in a hot tub?

I dont know how to do the blackout thing so...
...... porridge


I could go on but gotta go to bed, hehehe

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Old 10-08-01, 01:53 AM
  #43  
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What's brown and sticky?

Spoiler:
a stick!
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Old 10-08-01, 01:56 AM
  #44  
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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Spoiler:
He was dead


How did the man break his leg while raking leaves?

Spoiler:
He fell out of the tree
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Old 10-08-01, 02:23 AM
  #45  
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(replying to the compliants in this thread)

Geez, I thought it was understood that these are jokes, since this thread is named "ROFL!!! Jokes thread!! (Mature?)

If the title was something else, it would have went:

Why do women have babies?

Spoiler:
Because they produce eggs which are fertilized by the male sperm and then form an embryo in the uterus which will eventually develop into a living child and be born.
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Old 10-08-01, 02:25 AM
  #46  
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What did the farmer say when someone stole his tractor?

Spoiler:
Hey! Someone stole my tractor!
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Old 10-08-01, 02:32 AM
  #47  
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Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners?
Spoiler:
Because they have no attachments.


What did a Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Spoiler:
Make me one with everything.
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Old 10-08-01, 03:50 AM
  #48  
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What's grosser than gross?
Spoiler:
eight babies in a trashcan.


What's grosser than that?
Spoiler:
one baby in eight trashcans.

sorry,
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Old 10-08-01, 08:48 AM
  #49  
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Well, since we are on tasteless baby jokes:

What's purple and squirms in the corner:
Spoiler:
Baby in a ziplock


What's black and taps on the window:
Spoiler:
Baby in a microwave


What's easier to unload, a truck full of babies or bowling balls:
Spoiler:
Babies, you can use a pitchfork


And how about the classic mommy, mommy jokes?

Mommy, Mommy why am I going around in circles?
Spoiler:
Shutup or I'll nail your other foot down


Mommy, Mommy I'm tired. Why do we have to go see Daddy in Europe?
Spoiler:
Shutup and keep rowing


And Helen Keller Jokes:

How did Helen Keller burn her face:
Spoiler:
She answered the Iron


Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants:
Spoiler:
So you can read her lips


Why does Helen Keller Masturbate with only one hand:
Spoiler:
So she can moan and groan with the other



I've got millions of these tastless tasties
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Old 10-08-01, 08:52 AM
  #50  
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And don't forget the Mary Jane jokes:

Mary Jane and her boyfriend went to the movies.
Mary Jane and her boyfriend sat next to each other.
Mary Jane's boyfriend put his arm around her.
Mary Jane's boyfriend put his hand down her pants.
Mary Jane, laughed and laughed and laughed.

Spoiler:
Cause she knew her money was in her sock.


Mary Jane and her Grandmother was walking to the store.
Mary Jane's Grandmother saw a Quarter laying in the road.
Mary Jane's Grandmother went out to the street to get the Quarter
Mary Jane's Grandmother got hit by a car
Mary Jane laughed and laughed and laughed.

Spoiler:
Cause she knew it was only a nickel


Mary Jane was playing in the Garage
Mary Jane set the Garage on fire
Mary Jane's mom came out of the House.
Mary Jane's mom scolded her and said "Wait till your Daddy gets home"
Mary Jane laughed and laughed and laughed.

Spoiler:
Cause she knew her Daddy was in the garage


Thank you, Thank you. No applause, just throw money
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