We need a list of "Reasons Why DVDs Are Better Than Women"!

It was not just comics, any literature wood do.

Originally posted by Kinyo
Chicks and DVDs just don't mix.
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I think that this is an unfair statement, since I AM A CHICK, and am the primary one responsible for our 530+ DVD collection!! I am the one with the problem with the DVDs. One month I spend $700 on dvds. My husband calmly spoke to me about my "problem" and I agreed to bring it under $100 a month. I agreed, end of problem.

(BTW - We have been married 14 years, he makes 90% of the money, I work for NYC BOE - we don't make much, and we have a JOINT checking account)

Before you guys out there start with misogynistic remarks like, "women and dvds don't mix", try thinking of us women out here who love and collect dvds as much as you do

Yea, What she said.

Heh. I guess Kinyo doesn't read DVDTalk's reviews, or he would have noticed that Megan Denny (The Aisle View), Shannon Nutt, and I are all "chicks," but that doesn't seem to get in the way of watching and reviewing tons of DVDs! It's probably a bit more common for DVD enthusiasts to be male, but that's no reason to spout dumb generalities.

And for everyone with a significant other who's not into watching DVDs... don't just assume they'll always hate them. Keep things in balance, don't obsess over your collection, and make them feel included - find out what sorts of movies they like, don't try to impose your own preferences, and make watching DVDs a fun experience to share. I actually didn't care much for watching movies at all until I got to college, but it really took off from there.

There are always exceptions to everything. I think everyone realizes that there are woman who are into DVD's, but the fact is that the DVD collectors are overwhelmingly male. Most woman like movies but proportionately very few are into collecting DVDs. My girlfriend used to refer to it as the "hunter-gatherer" instinct in men (I have large DVD, CD and vinyl LP collections). Women can be hunter-gatherers too, but few are.

Woman here with almost 700 DVDs and the whole Criterion Collection - 12 released so far (and three of those shall be mine soon as the Tati films are re-released).

I'm 25 and I got to first base with a guy once - I hugged him I've also shaken hands with men

I want to do it once and do it right, so I'm waiting for Mr. Right. A huge DVD collection would just be a bonus

I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. Marriage is tough. But I have to say, at least 2 of those sound like pretty stupid and petty reasons to get a divorce. I think all 3 a pretty stupid reasons. All married couples have verbal disagreements. That's not abnormal, unless it's just a case of you two being at each other's throat. Now that would be different.

But divorcing because of a dog and DVDs is just idiotic. How many DVDs did you buy, 2000! That would be the only way I could see that being a huge problem. Either way, sorry to hear about your breakup.

I've been married since '97. We don't even have a joint account. We keep our money separate.

boc,

It sounds like your wife was hoping to change you, and felt disappointed and frustrated when she couldn't.

Your DVD collection isn't really all *that* large (no offense to your fine collection there) but why should you not engage in your hobby?

It also sounds like your wife is a generally unhappy person.

But it's not just buying the discs, I'd imagine. I mean, surely she must resent all the time you spend watching them too - time that she can't enjoy with you because she doesn't like DVD/movies, etc. Do you think that could be a contributing cause to some marital friction?

Maybe if you got some more "marital friction" and spent less time watching DVDs you wouldn't have as many problems, though.

SO WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED FROM THIS?

Doesn't like your DVD's or your dog? Man, you shoulda left HER a long time ago!

Sorry to hear about your divorce boc4ever but I agree with a few of the other DVDTalkers in that it sounds like there were some more deep seeded problems in your relationship than the dog or the DVDs. There isn't anything wrong with having seperate accounts because my wife and I have done this for years and we disclose what we spend freely (makes it hard to surprise her with a B-day or X-mas gift) Marriage is not easy. It takes alot of compromise. My wife and I are work-a-holics who used to work in excess of fifty hours and we would then spend lots of money on winding down by going out and partying. We stopped doing that and started spending on our hobbies (DVD and home theater for me and clothes for her)
Were there fights about money and time I spent when I wasn't with her? Of course. Mariages sometimes have these problems. But we compromised. When a baby came My wife stayed home while I worked for a year. Did it irritate me ? A little, but it was for the greater good. She got a turned down for a promotion after she returned to work and she needed my emotional support. I made sure to cut back a few work hours and spend time with her. (I told her if she wasn't happy, to apply for a promotion at another office and show her boss he made a mistake by not promoting her.) She got a promotion 4 months later and we had to move. I had to give up a good paying job I enjoyed. Was I bothered by giving up a cushy job in the middle of a recession? Yes, but I stuck it out. I am now going into my second semester of being back in college and staying home with our daughter. Does it irritate my wife that we can't blow money like we used to and Icouldn't work last semester because of my ackward schedule? God yes it does. We have both cut waaaaayyy down on our mad money. Her seperate savings account will go towards a down payment for a house and our vacation. My seperate savings account goes towards my school tuition
My point is in a mariage there is alot of sacrificing (compromise) in order for both parties to be happy. My wife and I both know that the things we doand sacrifice for each other are for the eventual financial well being of our marriage. We may not love some of the things we have to deal with but we wouldn't want it any other way. Our family is what is important some of our individual needs are secondary.

Woa there are females on these boards

That is possible, but I really haven't had all that much time recently to indulge. I am currently working full time as a teacher while earning my masters in education. DVD watching has taken a backseat to keeping my grades up.

Once in a while we would sit down to watch something together. Usually when we rented something recent. A lot of my collection consists of older films and cult classics. For the most part, our tastes in general didn't jive.

Ironically, we watched 28 Days Later tonight, which we both enjoyed. This was one of our more civil weekends, even though things are continually very odd. I am in the process of finding a place to live so we can finalize the divorce papers.

Thanks again for all the feedback!

When you marry and buy a house together that usually means you're going to be sharing your lives. While she was working to improve your home life and increase the value of your house, you were blowing money on DVD's. One of you was working on your life together while the other was only caring for their own entertainment.
DVD's are not an investment. A marriage is an investment. A house is an investment. Savings accounts are an investment.

I won't even get into the dog. All I know is if my dog ever hurt my wife or girlfriend I'd be saying goodbye to the dog.

In honor of your dad, bless his soul, here's a start:

Would not wood
Could not cood (that one really is amazing)
Might not mite
Have not hav
Though not tho


and please, stop using "u" for You, or any other one letter/number replacements....it's retarded.

I disagree. I lived with a girl for several years, more or less married just never tied the not as neither of us was religious or really carred about getting married.

We always had separate bank accounts, sent out two checks for all the utility bills etc.

That's the way any relationship will be with me. As long as the bills are getting paid, my significant other can do whatever she wants with her money, and I expect to be able to do the same with mine.

Hey, does your wife know about your girlfriend?!?

I don't feel terribly comfortable judging boc4ever's sitch because I'm only getting his take on the matter. I mean, I'm not hearing her side, or, more importantly, an objective overview.

But I will offer a few observations:

1. Finances. Despite the old sitcom saw of the husband getting upset when he discovers his wife makes more money than he does, despite the fact that the wife is fine with it, the reality is almost always the opposite.

A woman making more money in a marriage is going to eat away at her. Despite women's liberation and the feminist movement, women are still socialized to belive that they should be "kept." That the man should be the one out earning. Women will hold down careers, but they don't want to be the primary wage earner. (Note I said that women are socialized to belive this, not that this something innate.)

Very few women would have any pride in the fact that she made more money than her mate, at least within her social circles and around her family. (Granted, I come from a highly conservative area, so others experiences may vary.)

2. Hobbies/Collecting. Women don't respect men who collect things. My theory is that they view such things as being feminine or childish. Comic books or baseball cards especially, but the rule would also apply to things like DVDs, CDs, albums, books, or guitars.

Women will tolerate hobbies like sports (playing or simply watching) and hunting more. Because sports, even the vicarious act of viewing, is a show of strength and skill. Hunting and fishing are, at the heart, acts of providing.

3. Decorators/Crafts. Women who have the decorating impulse are trouble. It will only get worse over time. This is ultimately obsessive-compulsive behavior. Marry one of these women, and before long she'll be giving your DVD collection the hairy eyeball. It's going to be ugly, and she's going to need the space for a new cupboard to keep the ninth set of dishes she just bought. That, by the way, will just sit in a cupboard collecting dust and will never actually be used.

Ultimately, the decorators seek to control the space around them. These are gravely unhappy women at heart, who think a new set of dishes will, or assloads of Christmas decorations will make them happy. Very closely related shopaholics, but decorators seek to control every inch of physical space around them.

This is why I hope Martha Stewart spends the rest of her life in prison. Not so much for the financial shenanigans, but because she has enabled a whole generation of these sad, sad women. And gotten rich off of the mass misery she has introduced into so many lives.

4. Control issues. This is some kind of post-feminist thing, but it's been my experience that women try to exert an inordinate amount of control over their mates. And, over dumb stuff. I don't mean harmful things like excessive drinking or smoking, but silly, trivial things like the way they dress or what they do for enjoyment, like the kind of music they listen to.

Hook up with one of these women, and it's a guaranteed road to misery. Like decorators, it will only get worse over time. You will only disappoint and annoy these women. Nothing you do will ever make them happy. Pretty much the same thing as chronic naggers.

So, ladies, call me a sexist pig or whatever, but I could also go into a lot of the stupid, clueless, selfish shit men do, but I haven't the time today.

And, regarding the dog, again I don't have a decent overview of the situation, but it it's attacking her and drawing blood, the ****ing thing needs to go.

The one exception I would make is if the dog doesn't have the ability to effectively bite. I had a horribly ill-tempered dog who constantly "bit," but she didn't really cause injury. She just sort of attacked with an open mouth, but didn't clamp down. It was more of an irritant, and really kind of funny when she "attacked" a friend or relative.

To the original poster:

with all due respect, if thats your dvd collection, then I'm not suprised your wife is divorcing you. Maybe if your collection contained art films and foriegn films that were intended for your intellectual enrichment, such as giving you insight into other people's cultures or whatever, then I suppose your wife might see some benefit in the collection.

my advice: dump the collection, keep the wife. pick up another hobby that won't turn you into a coach potato...

Jayson, you sound like a real smart guy. Got a link to your collection you can share with us? I'd like to see what the intellectually enriched and culturally insightful are watching these days.

BTW, what's a coach potato?

is salvaging your marriage an option?

buy some roses and give her a $1000 check and told her you sold your dvds because you love her and your relationship is more important than any physical object...

and keep your dvd's at your friends house or in the basement. she's happy, your still married. everyone's a winner.