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RocShemp 08-20-10 07:46 PM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by Solid Snake PAC (Post 10331885)
Woohoo for being brown!

I need a tan. :(

PopcornBandit 08-21-10 01:51 PM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by Solid Snake PAC (Post 10331885)
Woohoo for being brown!

*is extremely pale*
*hates you*

:mad:

zombeaner 08-21-10 02:15 PM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by Solid Snake PAC (Post 10331885)
Woohoo for being brown!

:dance:

Solid Snake 08-21-10 07:06 PM

Re: Machete
 
:bdance:

JohnnyMovie 08-22-10 12:07 AM

Re: Machete
 
Im looking forward to see this one :D

Solid Snake 08-22-10 12:08 AM

Re: Machete
 
shit yeah, motherfucker...

RocShemp 08-22-10 12:36 AM

Re: Machete
 
This should be a total blast. RR, MR, and DT should be at a taco truck outside of every theater this movie plays. That'd be awesome. :D Impossible but awesome.

Solid Snake 08-22-10 01:06 AM

Re: Machete
 
...I don't want to say what I may do...but...it'd be on the news.

Blu Man 08-22-10 01:11 AM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by Solid Snake PAC (Post 10333391)
...I don't want to say what I may do...but...it'd be on the news.

Snake, remember what your parol officer said, no more raping. Seriously. No. More. Raping. Do you understand? Snake? Talk to me buddy...

RocShemp 08-22-10 01:20 AM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by Blu Man (Post 10333393)
Snake, remember what your parol officer said, no more raping. Seriously. No. More. Raping. Do you understand? Snake? Talk to me buddy...

Shit. Snake's on another of his rape rages? Do we get out his blowup doll to lure him away or does this call for that special trio of Robert Rodriguez/Danny Trejo/Sylvester Stallone RealDolls his therapist recommended for extreme situations?

Blu Man 08-22-10 01:29 AM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by RocShemp (Post 10333403)
Shit. Snake's on another of his rape rages? Do we get out his blowup doll to lure him away or does this call for that special trio of Robert Rodriguez/Danny Trejo/Sylvester Stallone RealDolls his therapist recommended for extreme situations?

Were gonna have to put him down unfortunately. I know a vet who specializes in putting down dogs, cats, rabbits and crazy Mexican rapists. It's cost effective, as he will put him down and cremate him for 60 bucks. It's for the greater good RocShemp. We have to do it.

RocShemp 08-22-10 01:34 AM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by Blu Man (Post 10333413)
Were gonna have to put him down unfortunately. I know a vet who specializes in putting down dogs, cats, rabbits and crazy Mexican rapists. It's cost effective, as he will put him down and cremate him for 60 bucks. It's for the greater good RocShemp. We have to do it.

I know... You're right. It's just... [stifling a sob]he was my first Mexican.[/stifling a sob] I mean, don't you remember when we first found him crossing the border? The first thing he did was rape the leg of that waitress in that diner we took him to. Good times.

Blu Man 08-22-10 01:43 AM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by RocShemp (Post 10333414)
I know... You're right. It's just... [stifling a sob]he was my first Mexican.[/stifling a sob] I mean, don't you remember when we first found him crossing the border? The first thing he did was rape the leg of that waitress in that diner we took him to. Good times.

Waitress, I thought it was a waiter...

Oh, no, your right, the waiter was a different time. My bad.

We can't say we didn't warn him. After he raped and murdered (not necessarily in that order) that local high school girl I knew there was gonna be a time that we were going to have to put him down. :(

RocShemp 08-22-10 02:34 AM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by Blu Man (Post 10333421)
Waitress, I thought it was a waiter...

Oh, no, your right, the waiter was a different time. My bad.

We can't say we didn't warn him. After he raped and murdered (not necessarily in that order) that local high school girl I knew there was gonna be a time that we were going to have to put him down. :(

Actually, he murdered her by raping her. Turns out that little Mexican had a big machete. I was morbidly proud of him... Until he turned his sights on her classmates. Then it got real bad. :(

Tom Creo 08-22-10 06:35 PM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by Solid Snake PAC (Post 10331885)
Woohoo for being brown!

http://www.cityweekly.net/utah/imgs/...t5340widea.jpg

RocShemp 08-22-10 06:47 PM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by Lemmy (Post 10333656)
I'm badly sunburned, but healing nicely, turning a nice deep-fried golden-brown. Does that count?

Sure. You can be an honorary or temporary latino. :)

Solid Snake 08-23-10 11:19 AM

Re: Machete
 
good god...I leave for one day. And I do all this? Fascinating!

The O 08-23-10 12:07 PM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by Solid Snake PAC (Post 10319252)
Tarantino and RR's Asst. Director on this supposedly did one a piece

from what wikipedia has...QT's trailer is title Agent Orange and it stars Tim Roth.

and here's all I know...but...I've yet to hear more news about it...

# Rick Yune as Li Chan, Agent Orange's South Vietnamese Sidekick.
# Sacha Baron Cohen as Colonel Weathers, in the Agent Orange trailer.
# Stacy Keach as Doc Franklin, the rumored antagonist of the fake trailer.

The version I watched today did not have any faux trailers attached.

RocShemp 08-23-10 12:09 PM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by The O (Post 10334858)
The version I watched today did not have any faux trailers attached.

:sad:

anomynous 08-23-10 01:58 PM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by The O (Post 10334858)
The version I watched today did not have any faux trailers attached.

:sad::sad:

Well how was the movie itself then? If you're allowed to tell us that is

inri222 08-23-10 04:03 PM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by Solid Snake PAC (Post 10328461)
I got me a damn cool Mexican action hero.


http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_yJoMnzl2VI...50-600x841.jpg

Solid Snake 08-23-10 04:15 PM

Re: Machete
 
well...how was it?!

Eva Kaine 08-23-10 05:27 PM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by The O (Post 10334858)
The version I watched today did not have any faux trailers attached.


Well it seems like Rodriguez is pretty much dropping the whole grindhouse feel of the film, no doubt for financial reasons, making it look far slicker than the 2007 trailer. Was the movie good at least?

Blu Man 08-23-10 05:30 PM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by Solid Snake PAC (Post 10335277)
well...how was it?!

It went alright. RocShemp was in tears the whole time but the vet promised him it would be painless. We had to pay 20 bucks extra when he found out you raped Stallone (apparently he's a huge fan...), but he'll be willing to put you down sometime next week.

I just want this to be over.

The O 08-23-10 08:08 PM

Re: Machete
 
I flipped for GRINDHOUSE, and found MACHETE to be an amusing extension of the concept (at least the PLANET TERROR side). It's crazy violent, cheeky, and politically provocative. However, the script reminded me of ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO -- overstuffed, trying too hard to come across complex when everyone wants Trejo slicing and dicing baddies.

The merging of the trailer shoot with the new footage is professionally handled as well.

The titles for the sequels promised at the end of the film made me chuckle:
Spoiler:
MACHETE KILLS and MACHETE KILLS AGAIN

Solid Snake 08-23-10 08:13 PM

Re: Machete
 
.....awww....well fuck.

Blu Man 08-23-10 08:28 PM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by Solid Snake PAC (Post 10335647)
.....awww....well fuck.

You brought this on yourself. RocShemp and I have come to the conclusion that we can't let you rape and murder celebrities and high school girls anymore. We have to make a sacrifice, but were willing to do it for the sake of America's well being. I'm sorry, but it has to be done.

Eva Kaine 08-23-10 09:03 PM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by The O (Post 10335639)
I flipped for GRINDHOUSE, and found MACHETE to be an amusing extension of the concept (at least the PLANET TERROR side). It's crazy violent, cheeky, and politically provocative. However, the script reminded me of ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO -- overstuffed, trying too hard to come across complex when everyone wants Trejo slicing and dicing baddies.

Please tell me it's better than OUaTIM. That movie was so ridiculously overstuffed with secondary characters that el Mariachi seemed like a costar in his own damn film. Also, are there any print scratches and whatnot on the film as in Planet Terror?

The O 08-23-10 09:13 PM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by Eva Kaine (Post 10335726)
Please tell me it's better than OUaTIM. That movie was so ridiculously overstuffed with secondary characters that el Mariachi seemed like a costar in his own damn film. Also, are there any print scratches and whatnot on the film as in Planet Terror?

It's certainly more fun than MEXICO, but, yes, Machete doesn't feel like the main character. And the damaged print gag is only used in the opening 10 minutes.

Rypro 525 08-23-10 09:19 PM

Re: Machete
 
Is my boy Steven just in the one fight scene with Machete or does he actually have a role in the movie?

anomynous 08-23-10 09:40 PM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by The O (Post 10335740)
It's certainly more fun than MEXICO, but, yes, Machete doesn't feel like the main character. And the damaged print gag is only used in the opening 10 minutes.

What. the. fuck.


I am disappoint

RocShemp 08-23-10 11:42 PM

Re: Machete
 
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Originally Posted by The O (Post 10335740)
It's certainly more fun than MEXICO, but, yes, Machete doesn't feel like the main character. And the damaged print gag is only used in the opening 10 minutes.

So does Michelle Rodriguez at least get a nude scene?

Gunde 08-24-10 02:39 AM

Re: Machete
 
^ I can answer that without seeing the movie: No.

JJE-187 08-24-10 08:51 AM

Re: Machete
 
This sounds worse and worse. I hope it's better than i am expecting. I really wanna see this movie because I LOVED Grindhouse and was happy to hear that it was being expanded upon with Machete and now I hear that they are more or less trying to distance it from the source material.

The O 08-24-10 08:55 AM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by Rypro 525 (Post 10335747)
Is my boy Steven just in the one fight scene with Machete or does he actually have a role in the movie?

Seagal and Fahey share bad dude duties, though Fahey is the more active creep in the film. Seagal is a drug kingpin with two major scenes.

Drop 08-24-10 09:21 AM

Re: Machete
 
I really enjoyed Once Upon a Time in Mexico, so hype for Machete sustained.

RocShemp 08-24-10 04:27 PM

Re: Machete
 

Originally Posted by Gunde (Post 10336080)
^ I can answer that without seeing the movie: No.

A guy can dream. :(

Solid Snake 08-24-10 08:06 PM

Re: Machete
 
via Dread Central


Robert Rodriguez and Danny Trejo Talk Machete and the Upcoming Ultra-Violent Director's Cut

Some fans argue that a lot of the more entertaining parts of the Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino Grindhouse double feature released in 2007 came out of the faux trailers created by several of the genre’s most beloved directors (keep in mind, this was about four months before Rob Zombie’s Halloween came out so yes, even Zombie was still beloved).

And while I loved Eli Roth’s crazy Thanksgiving carnage and Edgar Wright’s hilariously repetitive Don’t, for this writer the fake movie I badly wanted to see become an actuality was Rodriguez’s Machete (I proudly display my fake Machete poster from 2007 in my bathroom to this day), starring one of Hollywood’s hardest working actors out there, Danny Trejo.

Now that Machete on the big screen is about to become a reality for fans, Dread Central recently caught up with both Rodriguez and Trejo during the Machete press conference, where the duo spoke about their collaborations together since Trejo first appeared in Desperado back in 1995 and why the timing is right for a hero like Machete to take on the political corruption on both sides of the Border.

Most fans would assume that Machete came about due to the 2007 trailer. And while that was a large part of the equation of getting the project made, the idea for Machete is something Rodriguez has been kicking around in his endlessly imaginative head ever since Antonio Banderas was busy saving Salma Hayek’s Carolina and hunting down his murderous brother Bucho in the sexy thriller Desperado.

“Robert has been training me for this movie since we did Desperado,” explained Trejo. “He’s been telling me about the character of Machete since way back then, and everything we’ve done together has been leading up to this movie. I call it 'Training by Rodriguez'. Through osmosis it’s like he’s been making me into this character, and now I finally get to be Machete. In fact, each movie of Robert’s I am in, I am named after some type of sharp object.”


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“Danny attracted a lot of the talent himself actually. He’s been in over 200 movies and he’s worked with almost everyone in Machete already so a lot of people were happy to be a part of the film, just to support Danny in his leading role. As a director I really like giving people a chance to play a role they wouldn’t usually play, and that’s half of what makes Machete so much fun to watch,” Rodriguez added.

The other half of what makes Machete a treat for fans is the over-the-top action and violence. Rodriguez said, “Even though we touch on important issues, we still wanted to make this an insane and over-the-top movie for fans so they still have fun with it. Most of the reason we ended up making this movie is because of the fans and they helped feed the desire to get it made. Most people would ask me about when I was going to make Machete before they’d ask me about anything else, like Sin City 2. So we had to make sure we deliver for the fans.”

In Machete Trejo’s lead character is an ex-Mexican federale who’s framed for an assassination attempt on a US Senator (Robert DeNiro) that’s part of a larger conspiracy involving the US and Mexican governments’ approach to handling the immigration problems between the two countries. Rodriguez discussed about why the timing for a hero like Machete is perfect and how the immigration issue that currently plagues our society is the perfect issue to tackle in a gritty film like this.

“Whenever you do an exploitation film, you want to have an issue to explore and it just so happens to be immigration in Machete,” explained Rodriguez. “The old time exploitation flicks would take hot-button issues and approach them in a much different manner than the studios would because they could move quickly and make those movies a lot faster so they always had an avant-garde feel to them. I wanted to capture that spirit in Machete.”

“Recently immigration has really become a huge issue here in America, and so I wanted to make something that really looked into the corruption that exists in the system beyond what you see on the news. People always want to debate immigration but they never want to talk about the corruption that exists between the US and Mexico governments when dealing with the issue. That’s why filmmakers create these kinds of super-heroes, like Rambo or even Machete. We need to create these kinds of people to solve the problems that just can’t be solved in reality,” Rodriguez added.

Even though Machete packs a lot of action, violence and hot women into its 90+ minutes of running time, fans can expect a lot of gory insanity from the scenes that didn’t make it into the theatrical cut.

“There is a lot actually that didn’t make it into the movie so the bonus scenes on the home release of Machete will be crazy,” explained Rodriguez. “When you have actors like this, you just keep writing and expanding their roles and unfortunately, a lot of it had to get cut out of the movie for now or I would have had to release a two hour movie. But you’ll even see characters in the deleted scenes you didn’t see in the movie and there are even a few people that didn’t die in the theatrical version that actually do die in the director’s cut. There’s a lot to look forward to, I promise.”

And of course, Rodriguez and Trejo are hoping for more Machete mayhem with the film teasing two sequels titled Machete Kills and Machete Kills Again. Both the director and actor were mum on their future plans for the potential exploitative franchise but promise that if this first film does well, plan to see more Machete carnage in the next few years.

“I guess since we laid the groundwork for sequels, we’re going to have to do it now. But if anyone deserves a sequel, it's Machete,” said Rodriguez.

Look for it in theatres September 3rd, 2010.

Eva Kaine 08-24-10 09:06 PM

Re: Machete
 
“There is a lot actually that didn’t make it into the movie so the bonus scenes on the home release of Machete will be crazy,” explained Rodriguez. “When you have actors like this, you just keep writing and expanding their roles and unfortunately, a lot of it had to get cut out of the movie for now or I would have had to release a two hour movie. But you’ll even see characters in the deleted scenes you didn’t see in the movie and there are even a few people that didn’t die in the theatrical version that actually do die in the director’s cut. There’s a lot to look forward to, I promise.”


This does not make me excited. It pisses me off.

Solid Snake 08-24-10 09:13 PM

Re: Machete
 
....why does it piss you off? You need to explain yourself so that we can properly comment on what you post, ma'am.

Like the whole not making it a 2 hr. film aspect?


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