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Funny one liners from the audience?

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Old 04-16-08 | 03:43 PM
  #101  
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From: Muskegon, MI
Originally Posted by tanman
Zorro when the Dons are getting together, "Don Raphael, Don Montego..." Someone shouts out "Don Pablos"

Yeah not that funny but basically the only one I really remember.
Too bad they didn't shout "Don Corleone"!
Old 04-16-08 | 04:29 PM
  #102  
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From: Right of Atilla The Hun
I enjoyed this thread quite a bit. I haven't had any such experience though. Lots of loudmouths but nothing funny.
Old 04-16-08 | 04:34 PM
  #103  
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I saw Hellboy with a group of friends. And when Myers stood on the B.P.R.D. logo, and it turned out to be an elevator taking him down, my friend yelled out..."Hellevator!" In hindsight, probably not the funniest thing ever, but at the time it was very funny.

And this isn't a one-liner or anything, but one time my friends and I went to the movie theater to see Fantastic Four. We saw this kid from our class that we didn't really like and wanted to do something to embarrass him. So I suggested having one of our friends that worked at the theater come in and announce to the theater that this kid's mom had dropped off his diarrhea medicine. So, we had our friend come in during the previews and he yelled so the whole theater could hear..."__________, your mother dropped off your diarrhea medicine at the front desk. _________, your diarrhea medicine is at the front desk." The entire theater burst out in laughter and the kid ran out very embarrassed.

Not really a one-liner, but I'll tell this one anyway. I went with a bunch of my friends to see Munich. And we got the biggest tub of popcorn because there were so many people and you get free refills with it. I dunno how I came up with it, but I decided it'd be funny to pretend to fall and spill my popcorn everywhere and then run out of the theater in a really embarrassed way. So during the previews (I wouldn't interrupt the movie for this type of thing) I walked near the front and tripped myself, thus throwing my popcorn everywhere (I did feel kinda bad for making a mess). I got up and ran out and could hear the theater laughing. I promptly refilled the popcorn and returned.
Old 04-16-08 | 07:24 PM
  #104  
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not overly funny but only real moment i can recall was a special screening of xmen 3 my brother in law and his nerd friends had an extra ticket so i went with him...needless to say we got there way to early and it was like walking in a theatre full of screeches *fill in any fond on screen nerd you like to* discussing the differences ofthe movies and comics and how they messed this up. an hour into the movie or so someone got tired of the ongoing bickering and got up and told the crowd "jesus shut the F up and enjoy it or wait to go home and bitch when you and ur online buddies play a game of dungeon and dragons" he got boo'ed out and i got up and clapped and got boo'ed myself..we still hang out since then
Old 04-16-08 | 07:45 PM
  #105  
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Originally Posted by discostu1337
Great thread...here's mine.

During Spiderman 3 midight showing, when MJ "breaks up" with Peter on the bridge, the theater was super quiet. Some guy in the back yells "screw her man, you're Spiderman!"
Speaking of Spider-man 3, my buddies and I saw it opening morning at a 6am IMAX screening. When Peter slaps MJ in the jazz club, everyone in the theater was quiet and my friend screams out, "GIMME MY MONEY BITCH." Easily the best moment of what was a lackluster sequel.

Another one that I remember is opening weekend of the remake of The Ring. The film's final shots are that of the "doomed" video tape and someone screamed out, "We're fucked!"

A similar one to that was during The Blair Witch Project where a guy screamed out that he just shit himself during the film's final few minutes.

Last edited by Matthew Chmiel; 04-16-08 at 07:48 PM.
Old 04-16-08 | 10:20 PM
  #106  
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From: AUSTIN - Land of Mexican Coke
Cinemark started opening theaters in the Dallas area in the mid 90s or so. I remember just thinking their mascot Front Row Joe and his cat crew was just the lamest thing ever. I groaned nearly every time I went to the theater and saw the ads. I think I went to see Copland and this dude yells out during the Front Row Joe ad "That cat makes me want to kill myself!!!" The entire theater was laughing, and i had a feeling Front Row Joe was universally hated.
Old 04-16-08 | 10:44 PM
  #107  
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From: Ft. Lauderdale
This wasn't at a movie but at a hockey game. Right before the final minute of the period some guy yells out behind me "How much time is left?" and then the announcer broadcasts, "One minute left in the period." Ok, well I guess you had to be there but it was pretty damn funny.
Old 04-16-08 | 11:15 PM
  #108  
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Originally Posted by terrycloth
not overly funny but only real moment i can recall was a special screening of xmen 3 my brother in law and his nerd friends had an extra ticket so i went with him...needless to say we got there way to early and it was like walking in a theatre full of screeches *fill in any fond on screen nerd you like to* discussing the differences ofthe movies and comics and how they messed this up. an hour into the movie or so someone got tired of the ongoing bickering and got up and told the crowd "jesus shut the F up and enjoy it or wait to go home and bitch when you and ur online buddies play a game of dungeon and dragons" he got boo'ed out and i got up and clapped and got boo'ed myself..we still hang out since then
awesome.

During the same movie, when Juggernaut rams his head through the wall and gets knocked out, my friend, without realizing he was saying it out loud, said "Helmet Test!" Some laughed, some annoyed.

Last edited by ruddiger_718; 04-16-08 at 11:19 PM.
Old 04-16-08 | 11:58 PM
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Nothing really funny but a few stories:

Near fight during 'Powder'... guy behind me is making comments throughout, this big guy next to me tells him to be quiet. This is met with an "F-you", I don't remember exactly what was said right after but it ended with "..I'll tear your head off boy." The punk behind me gets up and yells "F-you!" as he walks out.

Also opening night for The Mummy, we got the Star Wars preview...during the final moments of it some guy yells at the top of his lungs "Staaaar Waaaaaars!" The entire theater erupted in cheers. Haven't heard anything like that since.
Old 05-01-08 | 10:25 PM
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Had a couple good ones tonight during Iron Man.

I was wearing a Clerks T-shirt and I'm going to the bathroom before the previews and this guy maybe 17 or 18 or so is just like "AWESOME SHIRT!" Seemed like a cool kid...

During a Diet Coke commercial, they had a woman moving in a painting and my cousin just flat-out says at normal volume, "What. The. Fuck?" The crew started cracking up.

And throughout every time Jeff Bridges was on screen I was snickering some line from Lebowski [not out loud] (i.e. during an action scene, "This aggression will not stand!"). In one scene, Bridges' character is talking to a scientist who says "I'm not Tony Stark!" and I just say right back "But you're the Dude, man!" Got some pretty good laughs from that crowd.
Old 05-02-08 | 10:42 AM
  #111  
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Originally Posted by Charlie Goose
In the Madonna sex thriller with Willem Defoe, she giving a statement to the police and said, "Men lie." All the broads in the audience started hooting and hollering, then one guy a few rows behind me screamed, "Shut up! Shut up! Men do not lie!"

In Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, when they are in olde England, Keanu introduces himself to the royal ugly dudes by saying, "I am the Duke of Ted." A guy shouted, "You're the Duke of DICK!" and walked out of the theater.

When I was a wee lad, my parents brought me to the theater, I can't remember what was playing. During the movie or preview, the narrator said something about a guy falling and breaking his pelvis. I loudly asked my mother if girls have pelvises. The audience laughed and went aaaawwww at how adorable I was.
Man those first two cracked me up so bad my ribs are hurting. To be honest i have never been at a movie where anyone has shouted anything. Maybe i should start shouting to make up for it.
Old 05-02-08 | 11:34 AM
  #112  
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From: Back in the Good Ole USA
Funny one liners... well i think this one was directed to me but at the midnight showing of Star Wars Episode 3 i got my seat in the middle with the best view of the screen....

Guy wanted to fit 5 people in the row and wanted me to move down 6 spots... i declined and he said "dude come on its a movie" i said " then why dont you sit in the front" so he left.... but it gets better... the girl infront said "good for you...he was probably a nerd who likes to sit in the middle"

....
Old 06-07-08 | 08:12 AM
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When the Pink Panther 2 teaser came on during Kung Fu Panda last night, I said out loud (but not loud enough for everyone to hear) "Why don't you act funny again?" at Steve Martin's presence.
Old 06-07-08 | 12:23 PM
  #114  
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From: 75 clicks above the Do Lung bridge...
the 2nd time i went to see 'The Sixth Sense' in the theatre, a friend bought the ticket for the repeat so i would go... well about a third of the way through the film i stood up and shouted out:

Bruce is already dead from that gunshot wound!!! remember he got shot??? and the kid talks to dead people??? well Bruce is dead and doesn't know it like all the other dead people that talk to the kid!!!

the audience roared with laughter and applause...

good times...
Old 06-07-08 | 02:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Dr Mabuse
the 2nd time i went to see 'The Sixth Sense' in the theatre, a friend bought the ticket for the repeat so i would go... well about a third of the way through the film i stood up and shouted out:

Bruce is already dead from that gunshot wound!!! remember he got shot??? and the kid talks to dead people??? well Bruce is dead and doesn't know it like all the other dead people that talk to the kid!!!

the audience roared with laughter and applause...

good times...
Ya know in other countries they execute you for that
Old 06-07-08 | 03:06 PM
  #116  
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During Vantage Point some kid in front of us leaned over to his buddy and asked him: "What's a potus?"

Those of us within earshot chuckled at him.
Old 06-07-08 | 04:44 PM
  #117  
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Originally Posted by Dr Mabuse
the 2nd time i went to see 'The Sixth Sense' in the theatre, a friend bought the ticket for the repeat so i would go... well about a third of the way through the film i stood up and shouted out:

Bruce is already dead from that gunshot wound!!! remember he got shot??? and the kid talks to dead people??? well Bruce is dead and doesn't know it like all the other dead people that talk to the kid!!!

the audience roared with laughter and applause...

good times...
Aside from the apparent terribly long narration, what's wrong with you? "Apparent" because I find it difficult to believe someone would seriously take the effort to stand up, and keep standing for that long just to screw up everyone elses experience.
Old 06-07-08 | 04:47 PM
  #118  
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Originally Posted by visitor Q
Aside from the apparent terribly long narration, what's wrong with you? "Apparent" because I find it difficult to believe someone would seriously take the effort to stand up, and keep standing for that long just to screw up everyone elses experience.
I think you're on the right track. definitely sounds like a made up story.
Old 06-07-08 | 05:20 PM
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a while after Nightmare On Elm St.: Freddy's Revenge came out, i went to a drive-in showing w/friends - during the summer

most people were in convertibles or had their windows rolled down

after one of the more gruesome offings by Mr. Krueger, someone who sounded extremely inebriated yelled out.. "hey! rewind that!!"

i chuckled
Old 06-07-08 | 06:02 PM
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Usually I hate when people crack lame jokes during a movie, but there was one instance that had me cracking up.

During a showing of "The Passion of the Christ", when Jesus was being nailed to the cross, some guy in the back of the theater began singing "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life".
Old 06-07-08 | 06:25 PM
  #121  
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From: 75 clicks above the Do Lung bridge...
Originally Posted by visitor Q
Aside from the apparent terribly long narration, what's wrong with you? "Apparent" because I find it difficult to believe someone would seriously take the effort to stand up, and keep standing for that long just to screw up everyone elses experience.
Originally Posted by Brack
I think you're on the right track. definitely sounds like a made up story.


come on guys...

i was laughing my ass off as i typed that...

it was an absurd foray into how easily this crap can turn bad, as well as just a hilariously exaggerated story... well hilarious for me anyway...

"the audience roared with laughter and applause..."????

i mean come on...

i thought for SURE everyone would get the joke after that...
Old 06-07-08 | 06:28 PM
  #122  
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the 2nd time i went to see 'The Crying Game' in the theatre, a friend bought the ticket for the repeat so i would go... well about a third of the way through the film i stood up, pulled down my pants, and shouted out:

"She's got one of these!!!!" while pointing at my penis.

the audience roared with laughter and applause...

good times...
Old 06-07-08 | 06:32 PM
  #123  
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5 pages in and I'm still waiting for the funny one-liners.
Old 06-07-08 | 06:56 PM
  #124  
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From: 75 clicks above the Do Lung bridge...
Originally Posted by Rockmjd23
the 2nd time i went to see 'The Crying Game' in the theatre, a friend bought the ticket for the repeat so i would go... well about a third of the way through the film i stood up, pulled down my pants, and shouted out:

"She's got one of these!!!!" while pointing at my penis.

the audience roared with laughter and applause...

good times...


awesome...
Old 06-07-08 | 10:01 PM
  #125  
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Originally Posted by Dr Mabuse
i thought for SURE everyone would get the joke after that...
SURE you're not related to ...



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