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Alien vs. Predator or AVP reviews?

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Old 08-11-04, 02:48 PM
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Doesn't the Predator have a puss face to begin with?
Old 08-11-04, 02:59 PM
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Originally posted by Josh Hinkle
The Williams sisters probably can't act for shit.
:: :: ::
Old 08-11-04, 03:47 PM
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More found here :http://www.rottentomatoes.com/vine/s...d.php?t=356339
Old 08-11-04, 10:57 PM
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Like Jack said, press screenings are Thursday night. This is a common practice when a studio doesn't want reviews to get out on opening day.

WB is pulling the same trick with EXORCIST: THE BEGINNING, so don't expect many reviews for that early either.

Unless you're Slant magazine, who review bootlegs, or this "Movie Boy," who breaks studio embargos time and again.

Oddly, the ANACONDA sequel is screening early... go figure.
Old 08-12-04, 09:12 AM
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Here are two reviews from H. Knowles' site:




Hi Harry. You may call me Red Death and I’m here to confirm everyone’s expectations about “Alien Vs. Predator.” Paul W.S. Anderson makes films that bring two adjectives to mind, cheap and stupid. In that regard “AVP” didn’t let me down one little bit. In fact, he exceeded them. I figured that blessed with the presence of two movie monster icons such as this, Anderson could maybe accidentally craft a film that was merely unoriginal, but maintained the minute possibility of being as fun as say “Predator 2.” I shouldn’t have aimed so high. “AVP” is a vacuum of celluloid that has no reason to exist. It’s without any merit and its existence is a blight on two franchises that deserved better. It’s everything we sci-fi fans have come to expect from this hack and slash director whose obvious deficiencies make one long for the days of early Stephen Hopkins. I can’t believe I just typed that.

The plot? God, why bother regurgitating it. There’s a pyramid that’s influenced by Columbian, Aztec and Egyptian architecture, and it’s found in the Antarctic. If you can wrap your brain around that one then you deserve a medal. Lance Henrickson assembles a bunch of disposable extras to traverse the ice to this long lost temple of doom. No one does more than blurt out expository action film dialogue. Including Spud from “Trainspotting.” P.W.S. immediately starts to assemble the footage in a way that reminds the audience of other, AKA better, films. The first ten minutes are "Jurassic Park Redux." We’re to sit there and dwell on the memory of films one might actually like. Anyway, Predators arrive, aliens hatch, carnage ensues, and that is it.

As much as Anderson claims to love the Alien franchise, he has no qualms about shitting all over the mythology of the series for the sake of subduing his own impatience. In the old “Alien” flicks, getting straddled by a facehugger, which leads to a chestburster, which leads to a full blown adult alien, used to take days. No longer patient enough to deal with such screen time consumption, Anderson speeds up the process to a matter of minutes. His blatant disregard for anything that’s come before shows that his love of “Alien” films past is only skin deep. And the Predators?

The Predators are reduced incompetent warriors who can’t fight for shit without their guns. I’d love to see how Anderson and his screenwriters justified this maneuver. It seems the Predators don’t bring their shoulder cannons with them to the temple, the guns are already in the temple waiting for them to be picked up, but the humans find them and walk off with them. Oye! I don’t want to continue regurgitating this crap.

“AVP” is everything we didn’t want and more. The lousy writing, Anderson’s incoherent directing, the impatient and senseless editing, the completely predictable ending. It’s all here in spades. Anyone who really values these franchises will avoid this film like the plague. Spending money on it only encourages the suits at Fox to further sully the already tarnished reputations of both film franchises. I think “AVP” will in the end kill off both entities for better or for worse. If Fox has no more respect for it’s properties than to put them in the hands of this seemingly unstoppable shithead, then they’re better off dead.




And the other one:



I'm an employee for a large Eastern theater chain (which will not be named)...and tonight, I got to watch 'AVP' which was sent in a day early from Fox.

Now before I say anything, let me state this: I've been a life-long fan of both franchises. The first two 'Alien' installments remain two of my all-time favorite films. They're what turned me onto the horror genre. Hell, I even dug 'Alien 3' and 'Resurrection'...warts n' all. And I worship and adore BOTH 'Predator' movies. I know these six films inside and out. I know the name of every single character. I can quote every line of dialogue.

I've been waiting impatiently for over a decade for this film. I bought all the comic books. I played all the video games. This was a match made in fanboy heaven...and I wanted to see a big-screen adaptation more than anything. Too bad Paul Anderson: Dream Rapist had to come in and single-handidly destroy everything I love in a quick 100 minutes.

Why does the movie suck? Where do I begin?!?!

First off, this does not feel like an 'Alien' or 'Predator' film. It feels like 'Jurassic Park IV' with Aliens and Predators in place of dinosaurs.

The characters? Not a memorable one in the whole lot. You won't find another Ripley, Hudson...or even a Danny-Boy. Lex is one of the most generic and dull heroines to stumble through a feature film...and surprisingly, the supporting cast displays even less energy. Even Lance Henriksen - our one ray of sunshine - isn't in the film long...and does very little.

There isn't a single good or fresh idea in the script. Hell, I thought the whole pyramid/training-ground concept was pretty sweet...until Anderson started crafting his own mythology around it. I won't spoil anything, but let's just say that it's stupid beyond words.

Now...about the PG-13 rating, which I tried so hard to ignore: IT SHOWS!!! God, does it show! Most of the violence in this film is not directed towards Aliens or Predators...but HUMANS. When it's time for a chestbursting or a tongue-death, all we get is a typical cut away. Gone is the colorful profanity that was so much fun to listen to. Even the token "ugly muther****er" line gets cut off half-way through. This is exactly what we all feared: A franchise film that looks and feels as if it were made for little kids. I'm not saying an R-rating would've automatically made this good (far from it)...but it would've at least given us some fun carnage.

The fights between the beasts are so badly shot and edited, I didn't care for one solitary second. It didn't stir up one bit of emotion in my inner-fanboy. And the creatures look HORRIBLE. The Aliens seemed okay...but the Predators are absolutely wretched. They look like goofy WWF wrestlers and in no way resemble or act like what we saw in the other films. It's really hard not to chuckle whenever they appear onscreen.

I won't even get into the continuity errors, and just plain bad ideas, that saturate this film. Let's just say, that it lived up to all my fears...and created some new ones.

Paul Anderson has not made a movie for the fans. He's taken a beloved franchise, stripped it of it's soul, and marketed it to 10-year-old boys. I've liked many of his films and I've been defending him for years. I was even excited when he was announced as director, while most people groaned. But all the naysayers were right.

Out of all my brutal movie disappointments, this ranks a staunch #1.

F**k you, Paul Anderson. I hope you rot in Hell.
Old 08-12-04, 10:02 AM
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Rivero-What the hell is your problem? You post 2 reviews out of 4 from AICN. You completly skip the review that says it decent. Why do you have a personal vendetta against this film? Here is the other review (that you seem to have forgotten to steal from AICN) I don't care if the movie blows or is great, but the level of hate directed at it seems a bit much

Hi Harry, didn't see any reviews on your site yet...

Here I am in Thailand and just saw at 10am the new film AVP. I am familiar with the originals of both series, had the original Dark Horse comics, and also played all the AVP pc games. So one could say that I'm really a fan of this idea. How did it translate on film? Well, since reading AICN I was expecting total trash from Paul W.S. Anderson, and what we get in AVP is a healthy action flick, good use of the monsters for most of the running time, and only a small dose of trash.

Yes there are elements that should not be there, there are predictable elements that a fan can see a mile away, and the ending was a bit too lame for my tastes. It was obviously setting up a sequel, and if you played AVP 2 then you already know where that one is going.

The good: The monsters were top notch, again from reading AICN I was expecting puffy rubber-suited unrealistic predators and silly cheap plastic looking aliens, but both are true to the source material and the special effects are NICELY done. Two thumbs up for a good balance of CGI, man in suit, and animatronics.

The story was good, but honestly, it could have used about 30 more minutes to develop, it felt rushed.

The fights between the Alien and Predator were nice, well done, except for that little incident early in the film that sets up the conclusion. I felt it made the Predators look a bit weak in the face of the bugs ( no pun intended).

The improvised weapons, wow, you get the feeling the Predators have really been doing this a while, and showing the humans how it's done. Nice touch.

The bad: Not long enough, ending sucked for me, and not enough of the fights between the two. The back story was a bit silly as well, having the Predators as demi-gods, founders of alot of human tech, etc... Actually, some of the flashbacks were cool, they could be a film unto themselves, set it in ancient Azteca.

It's hard to write this review without spoilers but all I can say is GO Fanboys, you will enjoy AVP. It delivers fun, entertainment, and Paul W. S. Anderson certainly seems to have great respect for the material he has inherited. I'll be seeing it a few times for sure.

Last edited by chanster; 08-12-04 at 10:07 AM.
Old 08-12-04, 10:13 AM
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Good or bad, I'm going to see this. Gotta use my free ticket.
Old 08-12-04, 10:20 AM
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In the old “Alien” flicks, getting straddled by a facehugger, which leads to a chestburster, which leads to a full blown adult alien, used to take days. No longer patient enough to deal with such screen time consumption, Anderson speeds up the process to a matter of minutes.
Jesus.....
Old 08-12-04, 12:05 PM
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Regarding those free tickets...

....I also got one when I bought the Predator SE dvd.

I was wondering however if these free tickets be considered as money in the box office.

Sorry, my brain's a mush this morning. What I'm trying to say is does the free ticket contribute to the box-office performance of the movie.

Thanks!!!
Old 08-12-04, 12:09 PM
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It was a stupid idea and the trailer looked horrible. I'm not surprised this movie turned out to be a piece of shit. I hope Anderson burns in hell.
Old 08-12-04, 12:12 PM
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Originally posted by Lara Means
It was a stupid idea and the trailer looked horrible. I'm not surprised this movie turned out to be a piece of shit. I hope Anderson burns in hell.
So you enjoyed the film?
Old 08-12-04, 01:29 PM
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The whole PG-13 Rating had me worried and then I read that review that said the film uses cut-aways just before the human carnage. I guess I'm really bummed out but I'll definitely see this one either way, and probably buy the DVD.
Old 08-12-04, 03:01 PM
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Rivero-What the hell is your problem? You post 2 reviews out of 4 from AICN. You completly skip the review that says it decent. Why do you have a personal vendetta against this film?
Because he likes the attention of taking the stance of any view that would get the most reaction out of the reader simply to be different.


Viking, Take a look at the alien franchise. You might notice that a lot of the killings that the alien did do in the films were off screen. When Paul Raiser gets it, it goes from you seeing the aliens double jaw and then cuts away. Happens when vasquez gets it.

Hell, predator had this as well. Sure you got some good hits like Mac's head poping like a melon. But you also got Billy getting killed of screen. A lot of the human death in the past franchises have been offscreen. So I don't know why everyone relates these two franchises with massive amounts of gore. Infact, that is why I loved them when I was a kid. The suspense of thinking of ways they got it without seeing it on screen was just great. Besides that I had a weak stomach.

It was a stupid idea and the trailer looked horrible.
this stupid idea has lead to a lot of the franchise being made into big selling video games and comic books for years. How stupid was that? Only dumb thing I relate to this is giving it to Paul Anderson.
Old 08-12-04, 03:02 PM
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Have to redit my previous post from another thread:

Originally posted by candyrocket786
PG-13, Paul W.S. Anderson and the words Alien or Predator should never be used in the same sentence....ever!!!!!


What this means for me:

No human impalement
No removal of any human skin
No removal of human spines
No human beheadings
No severing of any human body parts (via laser blast)
No human cauterized injuries (via laser blast)
No visible human brains (via laser blast)
No graphic, human chest burster scene, but instead a crappy accelerated process


Basically, no fun....But I'm still going to see it, regardless.
Old 08-12-04, 03:06 PM
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Candy.. I'll say it again..


I wasn't aware that this film was called Humans Vs Predator. Oh wait, it's not. It's called ALIEN VS PREDATOR. yup yup.

Humans just are their to talk or else this would have ended up with a script that consisted of Hisses and cricket noise.
Old 08-12-04, 03:16 PM
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Originally posted by chanster
Rivero-What the hell is your problem? Why do you have a personal vendetta against this film?


This complete and utter waste of celluloid is what will slam the door shut for all eternity the possibility of a new Alien film from Ridley Scott, who had expressed interest in finally returning to the genre of which he is an innovater and continuing ideas he had originated in his 1979 classic. For this, PT Anderson and his new movie deserve to rot in the fiery pits of Hell.
Old 08-12-04, 03:17 PM
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Originally posted by Jackskeleton
Candy.. I'll say it again..


I wasn't aware that this film was called Humans Vs Predator. Oh wait, it's not. It's called ALIEN VS PREDATOR. yup yup.

Humans just are their to talk or else this would have ended up with a script that consisted of Hisses and cricket noise.
I guess if you remove the Human element from my post and replace with either Alien or Predator you still won't see any of the items I mentioned.

Regardless, this film will make millions of dollars because it's targeted at the under 18 audience. I'm sure there are millions and millions of 10 year old kids that could care less about the origins and stories of each creature.

I guess, for me, it will be like watching Reloaded and Revolutions all over again....I knew they were bad going into the film
Old 08-12-04, 03:26 PM
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Originally posted by Rivero
This complete and utter waste of celluloid is what will slam the door shut for all eternity the possibility of a new Alien film from Ridley Scott, who had expressed interest in finally returning to the genre of which he is an innovater and continuing ideas he had originated in his 1979 classic. For this, PT Anderson and his new movie deserve to rot in the fiery pits of Hell.
Yes, because the way both franchises finished off before AvP left any opening for anyone. If the director still has interest, their will be a film about it. This is just the means to kick off two franchises that haven't had a film for a long time. A little messy.. yes. But otherwise I expect it to just come back as one of Fox's major flagships.
Old 08-12-04, 03:42 PM
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Jackskeleton, you are right. There were plenty of cut-aways and off screen deaths in the previous movies, however, they also had plenty of On-screen carnage to go with it, which I'm afraid will be missing this time around.
Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't this vilified Anderson guy direct "Event Horizon?" That movie is really cool in my opinion. [Flame Shield, Activate]
Old 08-12-04, 03:48 PM
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Seems that those reviews broke down this way:

Liked it -- Low expectations, not so much of a fanboy

Hated it -- Higher expectations, bigtime fanboy

I see no way that this is going to be a "good" movie in every sense of the word.

However, if you go in expecting crap maybe you come out thinking it was merely bad rather than awful.
Old 08-12-04, 03:48 PM
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Oh, don't you connect me to defending or liking Paul Anderson for one second. no no no no no no.

I hate Paul Anderson. Look back on early speculations on him taking this project and you will see my discuss with the person who destroyed Resident Evil for me.

But like I always say, that is a better reason to worry about this film instead of focusing on the PG-13 rating because like we already established.. a lot of the killings were off screen. We saw the jaw, cut away to the rest of the group and heard a scream. Infact in aliens the only real gore was the chest bursting and the impaling of the driod. Milk doesn't count as buckets of blood? right?

Same with alien. A lot of of screen deaths that left the rest of the group asking "Hey.. what happened to ______?" So off screen killing isn't something new or something excuslive to AVP
Old 08-12-04, 04:12 PM
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so how much in the past is this movie compared to the original "Alien" and how the heck did the Aliens get to Earth?
Old 08-12-04, 04:18 PM
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The answer on how it all connects together is this:

This takes place after Predator 2 and before Alien.

Bishop Weyland's "Company" starts up. Makes tons of cash and looks for this thing. Consider it the start of "the company" search for this ultimate weapon that the theme of the alien franchise keeps pushing.

Predators step in because for centuries they have been coming to earth to hunt game. well, the predators were looked at as some sort of aztec gods.. who knows and the aliens were around as game for the predators to prove they are coming to adult hood. who knows.

Does that sort of fill in some idea on how this is all connected together to the other franchises?
Old 08-12-04, 04:28 PM
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yeah, that sounds good, but how did the Aliens get to Earth for the ages that the Predators were using them as game? Were they (the Predators) transporting them from wherever the Aliens point of origin were or I assume they would just need one Queenie egg and maybe a couple Aztecs-facehugger bait and thus the circle of alien life begins...
Old 08-12-04, 05:25 PM
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The film makes it that aliens have always been on earth. Only stuck under ice for the major part of our existance.

The alien franchise was always about keeping the aliens away from earth. So yeah, seems a bit odd.


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