ROFL!!! Jokes thread!! (Mature?)
 

What do you get when you combine the news and a paper??


Why don't airlines allow dogs to fly on their planes??


What is black and white?


Who was the most feared of all pirates?


How many aliens does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


What's pink and panther shaped?


If you want anymore, I'd be very glad to post em!

I can honestly say that those are the worst jokes i've ever read. That's really bad considering i'm drunk right now.

Are you on crack?!?

LOL! Those jokes are great. I can't wait to tell all my friends! I especially like the Aliens one. Totally classic.

Actually, the funniest part is your (mature?) tag. I'm hysterical over here.

:)

Did you get those off a bubble gum wrapper?

Those are HORRIBLE!!!

Who was the most feared of all pirates....
Blackbeard.... .... .... ..... ....

Yeah, then what!?!?!

... This reminds me of a Cosby episode. :)


Krusty the Clown: "Well Kent, i've found its not dirty words that get the biggest laugh, its words that SOUND dirty... like muckluck.... you like that, muckluck"

ummm... those suck dude..

What's black, white, and red and can't walk through a door?

:rolleyes:

What I don't get is how he could come up with such great material, and is not yet swimming through his riches (no doubt earned from his stand-up job) as if he were Scrooge McDuck. I hope you're smart enough to NOT put a big dollar sign on your money bin, like Scrooge did. What a fool. That's just an invitation to ALL the burglers in town, INCLUDING the Beagle Boys, to just steal all of your riches.

I laughed. I cried. I fudged my undies.

:yack:

Gotta add one to the worlds worst jokes thread...

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide...

related riddle:

What's red, white, and silver and goes tink... tink?

Hmm these are the worst jokes I've ever heard.

Why did the pervert cross the road?



Thanks folks! I'm here all week!

How did Pinocchio find out he was made out of wood?
<table border="0"><tr><td bgcolor="#000000"><font face="verdana" size="2" color="#000000">His hand caught on fire!</font></td></tr></table>

A guy walks into a bar

why do women have babies?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.........you just made me go to the restroom prematurely.

What's more enjoyable than losing a baby in long grass?



What's more enjoyable than spinning a baby around on a clothesline at 100mph?



Apologies...

Simon

Amateurs. If you want bad jokes, these are bad jokes!!!




How do you make a hot dog stand?


How do you make an egg laugh?


How do you prevent a Summer cold?


How does a pig go to hospital?


If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?


What bird can lift the most?


What bone will a dog never eat?

Winner of my new signature!

BSPY

Are you Bob Saget?

Whats red and green and spins around and around?

Hmmm, it seems like many of you are trying to pervert my good natured jokes. Sure, Vaporware was trying with his good natured and laughable jokes, however everyone else is just naughty!

Here's one my brother told me...

How did the duck feel about flying south for the winter?


And here's one I got out of Highlights for kids!

"Didja hear about the new courderoy pillow covers?"
"Nope"
"Hmmmmm, that's odd, they're making headlines"

:lol: :lol: LOL!!!! :lol: :lol:

:lol: These are the types of jokes that are funny because they're so stupid. More more more! :lol: :)

Why did the Canadian trip over his shoes in the morning?

What do you call the female child of the woman who helps you while you're pregnant? Also the woman is from Boston and the child is sort of oddly tall shaped.



more can be found here, click on "bad jokes"

(I really hate explaining comedy [sigh]) You see. Blackbeard would destroy many villages, and rape the women. Thus, this made him the most feared!

This has always been one of my favorites :) Thanks for making me laugh out loud, even though i had a crappy day.

-pedagogue

Oooh oooh, I got another one!! (It's a knock knock joke this time)

Knock knock

Who's there?

Kevin!

Kevin who?

Kevin we go out an play now??

What do you call a fly with no wings?

That is very offensive. :grunt:

Eh,it definately wasn't very tasteful.

I thought it was pretty funny, for the same reason the others are funny: it's stupid, and obviously stupid.

Yeah, well you're not a woman. He was basically saying that women deserve to be in pain, and I found that to be extremely offensive.

True, I am not a woman. Also, I understood the joke. Still, I think it is funny due to its stupidity. No one got mad about the nun with a spear in her head joke, and I'm sure we have at least a few Catholics here. And what about the dead baby jokes? No fuss there.

Oh, I forgot to mention, the original jokes were the most horrid jokes I've ever heard