No, you have to buy them, but they are like 40% off.

Sounds like a great deal!

*Me waiting all day for my turn in the closet*

”Well, I guess I’ll just take this one!”

Exactly. This was my take (probably in this thread) when it debuted at some event in New York last year, and I recall taking some flack for it. I can’t deny it’s savvy marketing, though, for the ‘everybody’s-an-influencer’ era we’re now trapped in, and if a company wants to induct the younger generation(s) into physical media and cinema appreciation, you pretty much have to come up with an Instagrammable gimmick. Doesn’t hurt that the actual closet has become an attraction for increasingly ‘bigger’ celebrities which has naturally had a carry-on effect for every influencer and wannabe-influencer under the sun. Sigh.

You get three minutes in the mobile closet to make your selections, assisted so you don’t dawdle. The guy in the video below waited eight hours for that privilege (and all of 16K views as his reward for turning it into ‘content’). I couldn’t even begin to bear that amount of time for items I can get for an even steeper discount online (something he ‘humorously’ riffs on in the video). Pretty much all of the other videos people post on YouTube, TikTok, Insta, etc. contain similar wait times for the same reward: to be able to show everyone that you did it. You’re at a film festival; eight hours could be two or three screenings of films you never seen before but, well . . .


Like I said, I get why they’re doing it, what it does for the brand, and how it’s obviously a product of the times and a massive FOMO generator. Have at it.

I won’t be surprised if they eventually bring the van to TIFF (perhaps in conjunction with their Canadian distributor to save hauling all the product across the border) but I’ll happily stick to my personally-curated Criterion / Severin / Kino / Vinegar Syndrome / Arrow / Synapse / Etc. ‘closet’ – which is basically my apartment – and spend my week at the festival actually doing the festival.

Wait, so you only get 40% off?
I assumed 1 or 2 free titles (at most), and even then I thought it was nuts to wait around hours just for that. But to wait around for hours just to save 40%? Is this any better than the B&N deals?

I swear, people get sucked into the most stupid things nowadays. I feel more stupid that I can't take advantage of them by making money off them.

It's about the experience, not the discount.
Surely you guys can see where someone would get a kick out of doing their own "Criterion Closet visit" like you see the celebs doing on Criterions channel.

I'd just wait it out and wait for the 50% off sale instead of wasting my time at the event.

Of course we can, but we can also think it’s a superficial waste of (a lot of) time when you’re not an actual celeb and probably 80% of the people in any given lineup are going to post the exact same thing as you. Nevertheless I can fully accept this is where the internet has delivered us. Everybody wants to be somebody now, and marketers would be foolish not to exploit that with FOMO events and pop-ups. I see them everywhere now (though rarely with eight hour lines). Frankly, I’m surprised Vinegar Syndrome, Severin or Arrow haven’t done a winking knock-off of this, only with a more ‘down-market’ looking van to reflect their B-movie / grindhouse / video store ethos and libraries, and toured it around the various cult film festivals. I’m betting they wouldn’t attract all-day lineups either because there’s somewhat less of an aura of ‘important cinema’ surrounding their catalogs for the influencer set to be seen latching on to for validation.

Brian mentioned above that you only get 3 minutes in the "closet". Not much of an experience - certainly not worth waiting the long-ass wait times.

Sure, if I were getting the movies for free - I'd be giddy as a kid in a candy store (who's not paying for anything).
But having to pay for the movies, it's not any more thrilling than buying online. They're just cases with artwork - and I can see the artwork for the whole collection online. It's not a Van Gogh painting which is much better to see in person. And I'll get to see the whole package (inside as well) in person when the ones I ordered arrive at my house.

People will fall for any type of marketing.

The Barnes and Noble in Seattle (Northgate to be exact) has a pretty good Criterion section. I will just pretend it is a Criterion Closet. There is no time limit to browse and they have 50% off twice a year.

I watched that video. Jesus what an incredible waste of time. Sure, it’s kind of neat to actually be in the closet and have Instagram evidence you were there. But, for 8 hours in line and only 3 minutes to shop for 40% off. That’s not worth it. I could probably see 3 brand new movies in the theater during that time rather than getting some discs that may not get watched for weeks or months. I mean realistically, even during the 50% off sale online, do you really watch all your pickups right away? Probably not.

A whole bunch of this in here. Just let people have their fun.

As far as I can see, they’re still having their fun. Therefore it’s also fun for us to ridicule people who waste epic amounts of time on FOMO stuff like this.

If the van contained things you could ONLY find in the van – special collector merch, secret new ‘mystery’ Blu-ray titles hidden amongst the library, a golden ticket to the real closet (plus free movies, just like the stars!) stuck inside a random case – then I might sort of understand someone wasting a third of their day in line, even if I still wouldn’t.

I didn't know anyone here was trying to stop them.
We're just making fun of them like they were kids who ate tide-pods.

Ya'll need to relax I'd go so balls-deep into the Criterion Closet I'd be halfway to Narnia. Why not? As a Criterion collector since my laserdisc days of 1992, I totally think it'd be a fun thing to do. It's only 10% more than the B&N sales and it's right *there*, so where's the downside? Unclench thine spinchters! Do it for Johnny...

I’m sure we’d all like to go balls-deep under ideal circumstances, but I’d like to think many of us here – Criterion vets all – wouldn’t spend eight friggin’ hours in line (I tend to call that a downside) for the three-minute ‘privilege’ (another downside) of actually saving 10% less than the usual Criterion sales (downside) for the three titles we’re allowed to pick (downside). I suspect you might not have seen all the rules for this van - you certainly don’t get to go balls-deep! I, for one, will continue to ridicule this social media-era stunt every time it comes up here, while also acknowledging that it’s part and parcel of marketing in the age we live in.

I was going to say, the downsides all seem pretty apparent to me. Plus, it's not even the real closet! It's just some van luring in hipsters with their slightly discounted candy. The only difference between it and my local Barnes and Noble is at least at Barnes and Noble everything is sorted alphabetically so I don't need a handler to help me find what I'm looking for.

Jesus, I didn't even realize you were limited to only 3 titles - I must've missed that part.
So the whole attraction is being in a small "room" with a bunch of titles. That's it. Certainly those 3 minutes are worth waiting in line for hours.

If they let people scoop up dozens of discs each, the van would be empty in no time.

You really think people would be buy dozens of discs at only 40% off?

I’d do it. Maybe go with a friend. Seems like it’d be fun.

That would certainly make up to eight hours or more go by faster. Make sure it’s a really good friend, though.

The Instagram influencers who want to show off all the cool crap they got at the Criterion van would. The extra money they spend is a write-off for all the clicks/followers they gain.

Now I'd wait 8 hours in line if Scarlett Johansson was in the van

How many could there be? People who buy physical media (most of the movies non-mainstream) isn't exactly your typical influencer's audience.

If you have any links, I'd be interested in seeing.

Coincidentally, I saw no less than 4 different stories on the inherent today about how Scarlett doesn’t take picture with fans so you may be out of luck, friend.

Must be a slow news day.