"You smoke cigarettes?"

"Yeah."

"How long?"

"About ten years."

"Let's see... $4 a pack, thirty days in a month is $120 a month.... times twelve is $1440 a year... over ten years... $14,000? You've spent $14,000 on cigarettes? On something you just burn up in a few minutes and have nothing left to show for your investment but COPD and lung cancer?"

How has no one asked the most relevant question... is your "grandma" hot??? Because if she is, you have to listen to her. If she's not, just throw some bingo balls on the ground in front of her and walk away.


p.s. Remember, Sarah Palin is a "grandma"

Oh, I see why she's pissed at you.

Fuck your Grandma.

no, seriously...that'll shut her up.

How does she know how many movies you buy anyway? When my grandma was alive she didn't even know what DVDs are.

I really want to hear some of the mean shit she had to say. C'mon entertain us.

I don't know how old your grandma is but I have found with most old people, one punch to the face, they lose all their fight! If she calls the cops, sprinkle urine on her and tell them she fell.

or you could pull a charlie sheen on her:
according to the police affidavit he put a knife to his wife brooke mueller`s throat and dropped the following lines:
"you better be in fear. if you tell anybody i`ll kill you. i have ex-police i can hire who know how to get the job done and they won`t leave any trace"

I smell a signature...!

As for the OP and his nosy grandmother, every family has one. They are willfully blind to the atrocious mistakes of one member of the family, and to content themselves that they really are offering proper guidance they nitpick everyone else. My wife can regale you with anecdotes of how her sister has ruined everything she ever came near, with nary a cross word from anyone. In my family, it's mostly my uncle and his son who've been the untouchable fuck-ups. I made my peace with it years ago by refusing to help the people who have gotten away without their due nagging and leave them to be dealt with entirely by their protectors.

In your case, then, the next time your sister needs a sitter so she can go get hammered, respond with, "I'm busy. Call grandma." The next time you talk to your grandma, say something about how hard it is for your sister not having a sitter more often. Chances are, she'll jump through hoops of fire to volunteer to take care of that problem.

Remember, the problem isn't that you buy four movies a month. It's that you're not your sister.

I once had my grandma on my father's side tell me while I was in college that I would never get married. I understand the hurt a remark can make but how well does this grandma know you? I later sent her an email not to worry about it since I liked girls. I don't but knew it would offend her catholic side. Yea there are other family who probably really have probelms but she chooses to get on your case about something trivial. My own also whines about the drinking of the family and am the only one who doesn't yet she offers me wine at dinner. Don't dwell on it cause its not worth it.

I would have actually posted the actual emails, but im an idiot and deleted them i think. I didnt mean to, but sometimes you gotta clean up the ol' inbox and some real gems get lost in the shuffle. She knows I buy them because she has seen my shelf the couple times she came over...and when i put in a warner brothers blu ray into my ps3 it posts it on my facebook that i have it...i have since deleted granny from my social networking life as well as my real every day life. buying movies makes me happy...i would think that happiness would be what she wanted for me. She also always gets on my case because I have a good job and would take a significant pay cut to do something that I actually enjoy doing.

The last time I visited my grandmother, she asked me what a DVD was. That was earlier this year.

wtf! your grandma is not only sending emails, but actually on facebook!
hilarious!!

I suspect my grandmother would ask the same thing.

Go out and buy "Grandma got run over by a reindeer" on CD and send it to her!

This thread delivers.

It's like a little Otter greatness in the Talk forum.

I'm going to guess "grandma" is in her mid-50s.

Do you have your sister's number handy?

this thread was nominated for thread of the year in the otter forum...I had to come and see what the fuss was about. I liked the beginning, but it is dragging in the middle a bit. Lets hope for a big twist ending.

and to the OP of this thread, please don't take this the wrong way, but are you retarded?

You know, when i was a younger I did think, "ya know...i think i have a little retard in me"...then i turned around and noticed the town tard was violating me.

I guess I'm lucky. The last time I visited my grandmother, she asked me who I was.

some posters on this forum probably do need professional help for their OCD-like collector habits

but at 4 buys per month, you don't seem like one of them

but who knows, maybe you like to dance around in grandma's panties and rub yourself with peanut butter, read guns & ammo while masturbating in your own feces

That would perfectly fine...as long as he's not one of those :::hurl::: DVD COLLECTORS!!! Oh the shame...

This was a little bit too specific to be just a random musing. But, hey, whatever floats your boat!