Travis McClain

One of the things that really interrupts any effort on my part to lend discs is that it seems that when I recommend something, people always react by saying things like, "Yeah, that sounds great!" and then weeks go by when I know for a fact they've had plenty of time to watch it and when I ask how they liked it, they respond, "Eh, I haven't gotten to it yet." I once lent a friend Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan on VHS and he had it for literally an entire year--without watching it. He finally saw it on TV while at college!

slop101

To a certain extent, yes, that is what I'm implying.

Prove me wrong, OCD collectors, prove me wrong!

Isny

Losing Borat isn't a huge deal...lol

I have no problem saying that I value DVD's and Blu's more than a good amount of the people in my life who would want to borrow them.

You work haaaard for your monnneeeyyy....

GoldenWheels

Rather than prove something wrong which of course you yourself haven't proven, I'll just give you an example of my particular situation. Coming from a different angle than myself, maybe this would help you see how I look at it. I only speak for myself.

I have a few good friends who have proven they can't be trusted to return something intact--and by that I mean still working. DVDs being a fine example due to their scratchable nature. Putting it nicely...they are flakey. None of them have ever made a big deal about getting shot down as they know A: they either had a shot once and blew it, or B: they just aren't conscientious guys and their rep precedes them since I have known them for years.

Now, just as you say at the end of your post "if they fuck up a disc (which has happened a couple times), it's not really a big deal"...I would say "If I say no with good reason (which has happened a couple times), it's not really a big deal".

Not one of them has ever taken my "no" as a sign that I value the item more than them. Stomped their feet, stormed off, etc. To act as if saying no to borrowing is this dramatic implication of the worth of one item over a person....well quite frankly it's silly. Just like I don't let my buddies who can't drive stick drive my car, or the ones who are serial mooches into my fridge over and over...it's not about value...just the principle of the thing. If a friendship was on the line..well the DVD or the transmission or the Crunchberries are gonna get the short end of the stick.

But of course we're adults, friendships don't get value from lending items, and it's just a "no". No blood, no foul.

slop101

It's not, and I don't mean to say that it is, but it's still kind of a dickish thing to do to a friend - though some may say that asking to borrow something, assuming the other person will say yes, is kind of dickish too - and it can be. But in the grand scheme of things, even a $50 DVD is worthless. Heck, I've let people borrow my $5K guitars. Now, I personally never borrow anything from anyone unless they absolutely insist, and that's usually the case when someone borrows something from me too. But to have this blanket rule of "no one may touch my dvds" reeks of antisocial behavior, and my guess is that a majority of these people don't even have friends to lend dvds out to, so it's all moot.

GoldenWheels

I guess we just see it different...you see it being so small as to say "why not" and I see it being so small as to what is the harm of saying no. Every friendship having it's particular foibles.

I don't have a blanket rule myself but so far as they go....well I feel similarly about blanket statements I guess.

Rough assessment on the "don't even have friends" part. Yeesh.

Isny

If you're going to give someone something and you know it's going to come back garbage, you may as well just throw it out to begin with...and very few collectors would ever want to throw anything out...especially the hard core ones like myself who keep every insert and slipcover that comes with each dvd!

That's why I stick to only lending out Blu's to friends who I know will take care of them. They'll never get scratched unless you take something abrasive to them, and the people I lend them to will never treat them badly.

Isny

philip74

don`t be so judgemental, just because other people`s principals differ
from your own. i also feel that people who don`t even let their
wives enter their dvd room are a bit extreme and perhaps a bit too
focused on objects, but to say that they don`t have any friends
because of that is judging people!
isn`t friendship about respect!? if someone is very anal about their
dvds, shouldn`t people respect that part of their personality, especially
if they decide to borrow dvds!?
i think this has a lot to do with upbringing and manners as well!
if i borrow something from someone, i will treat it with even bigger care
and respect than my own belongings and return it in the same perfect
and immaculate state. i think people who don`t do this are very careless
and don`t deserve the priviledge to borrow something in the first place.
if they are slobs and want to have food stains, fingerprints or other
gross substances on their OWN dvds, go ahead, but at least have some sense
of decency for other people`s stuff! probably their living spaces or personal
hygiene also displays their lack of care
what usually pisses me off the most is that its always these type of people
who tell you, "hey you are an idiot for spending money on dvds" who
end up wanting to borrow movies!! plus if they end up causing damage
to one of the dvds they will never admit the wrongdoing and turn
the situation where you are the idiot for being so anal, usually paired with
comments like "chill, its only a dvd"
i am sure there are some trustworthy people out there who show manners and
respect and truly deserve to borrow dvds!
unfortunately my own experience also shows me that most people aren`t!!
most are cheap asses who try to save few dollars by avoiding the video store.
i remember back in the high school vhs days i had this very good indonesian
friend, who used to borrow my tapes. unfortunately in his house there was always heavy cooking with curry going on and when he returned my tapes
the curry smell had attached to them so bad, that even if they were lying
around for days at my place again, the smell of curry would never come
off again just like with lending stuff to heavy smokers, where to cigarette
smell will never really go away from the tapes or discs
long story short, the tapes smelled so bad, i kinda didn`t even want them back anymore
another good friend once borrowed 5 dvds and when i went to his house i saw they lying on top of each other on the tv completely scratched up!
of course my friend didn`t even remotely think he was doing something wrong
thats a problem also, these people will NEVER understand why you are upset,
because in their mind they are doing nothing wrong. thats just the way
they learned things
so to save myself the stress in the first place and maybe risk valuable
friendships, i simply keep a no dvd borrow policy

Xbox69

Here's another thing to be "worried" about.

My Xbox360 was known to scratch game discs even while it was stationary. I've had it happen on a few occasions (to rental discs).

With that in mind, would you then further question the borrower as to what machine the disc would be played on and instruct them in the proper use (i.e. "don't ever MOVE a component while a disc [especially one of mine!] is playing in it").

Has never come up personally but then I don't get many people asking to borrow from me anyway.

Pizza

If you really believe that, then you should sell your DVD/Blu-ray collection and donate the money to charity.

brayzie

Yeah.
I used to play my dvds on my computer and I think why that's why the ones I didn't lend out have faint scratches.
If they have a Coby or something I probably wouldn't let them borrow a dvd.

What does that mean moving a "component" while the disc is playing?

danwiz

Sorry, but this thread is just getting ridiculous when asking "do you love your DVD collection more than people" and crap like that.

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be". It's just a dang good way to LOSE FRIENDS! It doesn't matter whether we are talking about lending your DVDs, your car, your boat, your summer home for a weekend or whatever!

Kent2000

I love my DVD collection AND the people I live with (wife and kids), and will not lend either to anyone who does not demonstrate the ability to take care of them in the same manner as I would. The same applies to my car. I will thank you very much not to return any of these things to me scratched, dirty, or in multiple pieces.

asianxcore

That's silly (though there were some examples in here) of saying that people love their collections more than people.

Been dating my girlfriend for almost 7 years now and she is free to borrow anything she likes. Why? First and foremost, she is my best friend and I love her to death. Secondly, I have let her borrow stuff in the past and she takes care of all the discs she's borrowed from me.

In the past month or so she's borrowed Battlestar Galactica 1-3 + Razor and Venture Bros: Season 3 (which she currently has), and all have come back how they were lent out.

My immediate family is free to borrow anything they please, because they are my family and also because they borrowed stuff in the past and took care of it. My Dad just recently got a Blu-Ray player, so if borrowing BD's get's him hype about getting more, I'm fine with supporting that.

I've let random work friends borrow DVD's before and it became a chore getting them back. I'd either have to hound them to get them back or I'd get them back smelling like Cigarettes/Cigars, discs scratched, dirt/stains all over the cases, etc etc. It just became a hassle.

The friends that I've known for years are free to borrow stuff. What happens though is they either have collections of their own (so they rarely borrow, if they do it's 1-2 at a time) or they aren't big film fans so they never ask.

I definitely care more about my girlfriend, friends and family more than my collection. Here the thing though. My REAL friends, my girlfriend and family have enough common sense to not fuck up shit that isn't theirs.

Travis McClain

[off-topic banter]And yet, after seven years, she's still just your girlfriend, entitled to "borrow" your things. Just what is it about commitment that frightens you? Oh, sorry, we're out of time, but we'll discuss this in our next session! [/off-topic banter]

asianxcore

She has been hinting that regarding both of our DVD Collections that we stop buying the same stuff for the future.

Travis McClain

Might there be a mrsasianxcore in the near future for our little forum?

That'sAllFolks

I lent a Steve Martin DVD to my sister and she gave it to me two years later as a Christmas gift.

It was a joke.

Still haven't got my Knight's Tale DVD and it's been around 8 years.

I would lend some stuff, but not everything. Nothing rare and nothing I really like. I would consider how close I was to them, whether they were part of my family and how reliable they were. After all, for most people, at least half of your collection (probably more like 70%) is made up of DVDs that are really not that hard to replace. And once you open them anyway, they are practically worthless.

So everyone has to make decisions on what they value, and what risk they want to take. There is no wrong or right answer and just b/c someone has a different value system or has concerns that you might not, it does not make them right or wrong.

philip74

different value systems is right. however, when someone borrows something
and doesn`t have the decency, respect and manners to treat it with good care, thats definitely wrong in my book!!

M&J

I don't borrow anything to anyone. People just don't have the same love and respect that i have for the things.

The Man with the Golden Doujinshi

So are we ever going to get an update to the story?

SethDLH

Sorry, I've been busy all weekend and totally forgot to update it. Well, when I got to see my family after the whole thing happened, I told them about the DVD set situation and they said something along the lines of "thats not surprising... they didn't even clean the basement at all" The basement is finished and is 2 bedrooms.

So long story short, they called the people to find out what was going on, why they didn't clean 1/3 of the house and why they tried to hide messing up my DVDs and from what I understand it took little to convince the owners to give us our money back plus an extra $40 to help cover my set. I previously thought it was just a family business of 2 sisters, but apparently it is a little bigger than that. Owned by 2 sisters with about a dozen other employees. The two that were the reason for this thread being started were not the sisters as I originally thought and were just a couple of the other 12.

Certainly not an ideal situation, but all 5 discs seem to play just fine even after being mangled by unloving hands, and it sort of worked out for the whole family.

Ash Ketchum

Will you lend me your wife? I promise I'll take care of her in the same manner you would.

Travis McClain

I agree, and I think one element in all this that hasn't been addressed is the differing views that non-collectors have of the actual value of the items they wish to borrow. I mean, we have entire threads dedicated to DVD's with slipcovers and which out-of-print titles are in our own libraries; when I say I have Star Wars: The Ewok Adventures, you know I've got something that regularly re-sells for about $40 or so. My friends that might actually browse my shelf and see it have no idea. They just see "Ewoks" and think it can't be that important to me; why not borrow it for some cheesy 80s nostalgia?

Since the OP has posted a conclusion to his issue, though, I think it fitting to let this thread die. (It's not like there's a shortage of threads in which to continue this endless debate!)