I had an appointment today at the chiropractor and as I'm walking out I see the corporate directory of the building and BAM - Criterion is listed there. So I figure what the hell, might as well stop by.

I go up to their floor, into their office, and all I remember is my jaw dropping and wetting myself. Well maybe not wetting myself but there were Criterions, everywhere. Stacks on the filing bins, on desks, all over the place. I almost fainted. A woman came over and asked me what I wanted, so naturally I figured I had nothing to lose, might as well ask for a job. Unfortunately, they weren't hiring there, but she hooked me up with another office of theirs that is. She was cool, and seemed to do her best not to outright laugh at my shit-eating grin.

Anyway, just thought I'd share.

you should have slipped a quick note:

URGENT:
acquire rights for additional
Peter Greenaway, Pasolini films.

figured their offices doubled as a warehouse. btw, did you happen to step over any Salo discs?

you shoudl have pulled the fire alarm and loaded up and RAN

Although Criterion has many Kurosawa releases, they don't have the rights to RAN.

Not a bad idea. When I first walked in the door was open so I took a quiet step inside, no one was around, and there's a stack of 10 M. Hulot's Holiday (its on my want list!) right to my right. Believe me it was mighty tempting to grab a bunch and get back in that elevator. After like 10 seconds I heard footsteps, so I backed up a step and knocked on the door to make it seem all natural like I was just coming in.

I wanted to check out the other piles lying around, but didn't want to do it while I was talking to the woman, ya know? My half-assed attempt at trying to seem professional or something.

Anyway it wasn't a warehouse, maybe they were all promotional discs. The woman said they do the "financial stuff" at this office.

pics?

I don't think that's what he was saying...

Heeey, you have their address? I'm a graphic designer who, I'm sure with everyone else, would *love* to work for them in their art department. I think their covers are some of the best ever in the industry.

Any chance you could give me a street address?

obvious, but still

I am curious about that chiropractor...

Interesting story...

Personally, I wish Cage (Nicholas that is) could hook me up with a directing job this week when I saw him... As he is shooting here in Chicago this week.

Nonetheless, I am also an avid Criterion collector and I would ask if the had a dusty copy of Salo & Spinal Tap for me.

I also agree with Giles...

Cheers

DVD Smurf

Crap now I'm regretting not asking if they had any extra discs floating around.
I guess I could go back there, it's 15 mins from me, but I can't just come right out and ask... hmm.. need excuse..

tell them I sent you......

Just ask that chick out for a drink.

You don't need to work there...you just need to date someone who works there.

In the future just remember, it never hurts to ask for samples. Every once in a while the answer is YES.

What is the address? I'll go.
Austin

Tell them you're from the future and need a Criterion sample to take back with you to post-apocalyptic earth for posterity to appreciate top-notch dvd production.

Asking out the chick sounds good too.. maybe after that lil' introduction..

So they were all sealed discs lying all over the place???

Maybe it’s cause no one buys them so they were sent back to the manufacturer

Just ask her what number is on her spine

And only his 4th post . . . nicely done!

this is hilarious....and truly signifies the sickness that is dvd addiction: trying to figure out how to ask a girl out so that you might get some free dvds out of her!

Not just any dvds mind you..

After that you should INSIST to see John Mulvaney and when denied and promptly escorted out of the building you should proclaim loudly that he is a fake and a fraud and that you know the awful truth about him.