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Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

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Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

Old 06-18-11, 03:43 PM
  #301  
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

Originally Posted by dvdjunkie32 View Post
Man what a lackluster summer so far. Hunted Demon Forge sucks, Alice sucks, LA Noire overhyped, and Duke blows. No word on the new Transformers game either.
I'm holding out hope for the new EDF in two weeks. Guessing that'll be the game of the summer for me.
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Old 06-18-11, 04:00 PM
  #302  
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

Originally Posted by maxfisher View Post
I'm holding out hope for the new EDF in two weeks. Guessing that'll be the game of the summer for me.
I've loved it since the old days.

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Old 06-18-11, 04:10 PM
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

Originally Posted by dvdjunkie32 View Post
Man what a lackluster summer so far. Hunted Demon Forge sucks, Alice sucks, LA Noire overhyped, and Duke blows. No word on the new Transformers game either.
Actually IGN recently reviewed it and gave it a 6.0.
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Old 06-18-11, 04:31 PM
  #304  
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

Originally Posted by Drexl View Post
I've loved it since the old days.

that's what I thought as well.
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Old 06-19-11, 05:39 PM
  #305  
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

Originally Posted by discostu1337 View Post
It was super easy. you can just pin the ball at the top left flipper, and keep knocking down the 3 little squares to the immediate left of it. Tilt the machine slightly to catch the ball again at the top left flipper. repeat for about 5 minutes.
Also, the lights on the three gates at the top rotate left/right when you use the left/right flipper. Light all three and it increases the score multiplier.
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Old 06-20-11, 07:19 AM
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

I'm over half-way now on hard. Chapter 14, I think.

It's...a mess. The game tries to do far too much and is just all over the place. I can't remember playing a game that tried to do so much, with all of its shrinking, driving, gaming, and other interactions.

Glad I only rented it. There are a few fun Duke moments that remind me of why I spent countless hours playing 3D, but not very many. It feels miles away from that great game.
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Old 06-20-11, 08:25 AM
  #307  
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

I rented it for a night and made it through the end of The Hive. I returned it last night, and I don't feel the need to ever play any more of that game. It's not outright terrible, but it is boring and completely mediocre. I have enough other stuff to play, and can't justify putting more time into a game that's not really entertaining in any way.
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Old 06-20-11, 09:18 AM
  #308  
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

So how fast before this hits $40? Only took LA Noire a few weeks. I'll probably give this one a rent just for the Duke appeal. It looks horrible.
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Old 06-20-11, 10:10 AM
  #309  
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

All done. Thoughts:
Spoiler:
Full Disclosure: I have never played a Duke Nukem game before playing Duke Nukem Forever. Also, after sales and credits I spent $12 on a new retail copy of this game, which I promptly sold upon completion for $39.

Duke Nukem Forever will probably not end up being this year’s worst reviewed game, score-wise. But it will be remembered as the game that brought the most hate-filled reviews from the most gaming outlets. Even if they don’t come out and say it, most of the reviews seem to come from a “How dare you!” mindset. While not said within the reviews themselves, the gist of the opinions seem to be “You made me wait 12-14 years and this is what you give me? This was the best you could do?! HOW DARE YOU! F-! Zero out of 10! Go to hell, Duke Nukem!”

Me? Having never played Duke Nukem and therefore never spending one single moment wishing for this game to be completed, I just can’t understand that way of thinking. To me it was just a new game that I could get for a crazy good price, and it sounded like a fun way to spend a weekend.

PROS:
* The game’s over the top sense of humor was fine with me, and even generated a couple of laugh out loud moments. It’s not You Don’t Know Jack funny or anything, but I was entertained.
* A lot of people don’t care about such things, but I had fun interacting with all the various things in the environment, seeing what kind of reactions Duke would give as a result. Well, everything except the pinball and air hockey minigames.
* There’s a decent amount of variety to the game play. Shooting, driving, puzzle solving, etc. A lot of people would have preferred a little more shooting and a lot less everything else, and I can see that point as well.
* It’s fun. I had fun playing it. Never did I feel frustrated to the point of shutting it off or did I feel the game was broken. I know others have run into bugs, but I never saw any.

CONS:
* Load times. Even with the game installed to the Xbox 360′s hard drive it can take 45-55 seconds for each level to load up. This is also the case after every time you die. Take two steps in a boss battle and die? That’ll be one minute before you can start playing again. While this did give me plenty of time to see what achievements I still needed to get or to check my Twitter timeline, ultimately it became somewhat of a drag, and it really kills your momentum.
* While I didn’t spend $60 on my copy of the game, charging $60 for it is insane. It should have been a $40 game, $50 tops. Charging the same price as current-gen AAA titles like Mass Effect and Call of Duty just doesn’t make sense. Acknowledging the game’s way last-gen origins and offering a deal for fans would have created a bit of goodwill. Then the reviews could have said “Man this game fucking sucks… but at least it’s not full retail.”
* The ending is weak. Ridiculously weak. The game itself even points out how weak it is.

In the end, I’d give Duke Nukem Forever a C+. It did not murder my children or steal my car, so I cannot level the amount of vitriol towards it usually reserved for serial killers or Lebron James.

I would have gone a little higher, perhaps a B-, but there are so many jumping puzzles in the game and I HATE JUMPING PUZZLES with furious anger. Had there been a little less of those and a little more shooting aliens in the face I could have bumped that up a notch.

If you don’t play every single game that comes out and just want to have a bit of fun, I recommend playing through Duke Nukem Forever. Despite what you may read elsewhere, there ARE worse games. Much worse.
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Old 06-20-11, 10:17 AM
  #310  
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

Fanboy.
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Old 06-20-11, 12:20 PM
  #311  
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

I forgot to mention the noise Duke makes when he jumps. He makes the same groan every single time you jump. And it's goddamned irritating.
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Old 06-20-11, 06:55 PM
  #312  
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

Duke Nukem 3D remake being made:

Have you had enough Duke with Duke Nukem Forever? No? Turns out a small Danish studio called Interceptor Entertainment is right there with you, as it's working on a high-def remake of Duke Nukem 3D.

Duke Nukem 3D: Reloaded has been acknowledged and greenlit by Gearbox Software, though it's not planned for an actual commercial release. Interceptor has also managed to get Jon St. John into the recording studio to contribute further dialog for the game.

There will be sixteen-player multiplayer and a demo is on the cards. Ain't that nice?

http://www.destructoid.com/danish-st...d-204177.phtml
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Old 06-20-11, 07:49 PM
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

Originally Posted by chuckd21 View Post
All done. Thoughts:
Spoiler:
Full Disclosure: I have never played a Duke Nukem game before playing Duke Nukem Forever. Also, after sales and credits I spent $12 on a new retail copy of this game, which I promptly sold upon completion for $39.

Duke Nukem Forever will probably not end up being this yearís worst reviewed game, score-wise. But it will be remembered as the game that brought the most hate-filled reviews from the most gaming outlets. Even if they donít come out and say it, most of the reviews seem to come from a ďHow dare you!Ē mindset. While not said within the reviews themselves, the gist of the opinions seem to be ďYou made me wait 12-14 years and this is what you give me? This was the best you could do?! HOW DARE YOU! F-! Zero out of 10! Go to hell, Duke Nukem!Ē

Me? Having never played Duke Nukem and therefore never spending one single moment wishing for this game to be completed, I just canít understand that way of thinking. To me it was just a new game that I could get for a crazy good price, and it sounded like a fun way to spend a weekend.

PROS:
* The gameís over the top sense of humor was fine with me, and even generated a couple of laugh out loud moments. Itís not You Donít Know Jack funny or anything, but I was entertained.
* A lot of people donít care about such things, but I had fun interacting with all the various things in the environment, seeing what kind of reactions Duke would give as a result. Well, everything except the pinball and air hockey minigames.
* Thereís a decent amount of variety to the game play. Shooting, driving, puzzle solving, etc. A lot of people would have preferred a little more shooting and a lot less everything else, and I can see that point as well.
* Itís fun. I had fun playing it. Never did I feel frustrated to the point of shutting it off or did I feel the game was broken. I know others have run into bugs, but I never saw any.

CONS:
* Load times. Even with the game installed to the Xbox 360′s hard drive it can take 45-55 seconds for each level to load up. This is also the case after every time you die. Take two steps in a boss battle and die? Thatíll be one minute before you can start playing again. While this did give me plenty of time to see what achievements I still needed to get or to check my Twitter timeline, ultimately it became somewhat of a drag, and it really kills your momentum.
* While I didnít spend $60 on my copy of the game, charging $60 for it is insane. It should have been a $40 game, $50 tops. Charging the same price as current-gen AAA titles like Mass Effect and Call of Duty just doesnít make sense. Acknowledging the gameís way last-gen origins and offering a deal for fans would have created a bit of goodwill. Then the reviews could have said ďMan this game fucking sucksÖ but at least itís not full retail.Ē
* The ending is weak. Ridiculously weak. The game itself even points out how weak it is.

In the end, Iíd give Duke Nukem Forever a C+. It did not murder my children or steal my car, so I cannot level the amount of vitriol towards it usually reserved for serial killers or Lebron James.

I would have gone a little higher, perhaps a B-, but there are so many jumping puzzles in the game and I HATE JUMPING PUZZLES with furious anger. Had there been a little less of those and a little more shooting aliens in the face I could have bumped that up a notch.

If you donít play every single game that comes out and just want to have a bit of fun, I recommend playing through Duke Nukem Forever. Despite what you may read elsewhere, there ARE worse games. Much worse.
Although I'm not quite finished yet, this sums up my thoughts almost to the exact word. Great review, probably better than half the "professional" ones I read.
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Old 06-21-11, 07:52 AM
  #314  
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

Welp, my webmaster actually got the game yesterday from 2k. So I will have it come this weekend. Kinda worried about doing the review, the demo was not kind and the reviews here were better than the average professional review, but still not glowing. All I can be is honest though. I'll just try to keep it from throwing in too many jokes like I usually do.
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Old 06-21-11, 02:45 PM
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

demo up at XBL.
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Old 06-21-11, 02:47 PM
  #316  
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

Originally Posted by scott1598 View Post
demo up at XBL.
Got a link or any sort of online confirmation of this?
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Old 06-21-11, 02:57 PM
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

Originally Posted by pinata242 View Post
Got a link or any sort of online confirmation of this?
No way. XBOX Live dealings are very secretive and often times unpublicized.
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Old 06-21-11, 02:58 PM
  #318  
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

Originally Posted by scott1598 View Post
No way. XBOX Live dealings are very secretive and often times unpublicized.
Wise words. I should heed them and learn from my mistakes.
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Old 06-22-11, 12:42 AM
  #319  
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

I rented this tonight from Redbox. I just died a couple times fighting the mothership and I'm not sure if I even want to try again. I'm tired of waiting for it to load after I die and I'm already sick of hearing Duke. Eh, whatever.
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Old 06-22-11, 05:43 AM
  #320  
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

Originally Posted by pinata242 View Post
Got a link or any sort of online confirmation of this?
This page lists all the XBL game content. Towards the bottom on the right are Game Demos.

http://marketplace.xbox.com/en-US/games/default.htm
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Old 06-22-11, 06:18 PM
  #321  
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

I guess i'm lucky playing this on PC with an SSD, as load times are a non issue for me.
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Old 06-23-11, 08:59 AM
  #322  
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

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Old 06-25-11, 02:51 PM
  #323  
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

Originally Posted by dino88 View Post
I rented this tonight from Redbox. I just died a couple times fighting the mothership and I'm not sure if I even want to try again. I'm tired of waiting for it to load after I die and I'm already sick of hearing Duke. Eh, whatever.
Ha, this is where I stopped the game too for my first break. The loading screens are my biggest complaint so far. I think I'll be able to get the mothership though, just have to be weary of those stupid ships that go over your head.

Got it yesterday night in the mail from my webmaster. Played it this morning for about an hour and a half. It's not bad honestly. It sure has its share of issues like many others have posted on here as well as myself, but I think I was bit unfair in my first couple of posts after playing the demo. I really tried to strip it down and just evaluate as another shooter (instead of a game I waited a decade for), and I'm having some fun with it. Solid $25-30 game, but not $60.
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Old 06-26-11, 02:12 PM
  #324  
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

Not sure how far I am now, but i'm just past the Hoover Dam part. Some thoughts:

I'm playing on PC and I have a pretty fast system with an SSD, so I don't have any load time issues. I can imagine it would be a giant pain in the ass if I had to wait 10 seconds with each load though, given how many times i've died in some areas.

I don't have any issues with the graphics, but again, i'm on a good computer. I just don't link how some stuff in the distance is blurred. The animation is very poor though, especially when you play multiplayer and see the other Duke's walking around. That portion definitely seems to show its age.

The game would be twice as fun if you could carry all the weapons at once. 2 weapons at a time is dreadful for this sort of game. This would be my biggest complaint.

Driving sucked; that part was pointless, especially having to stop to find gas multiple times.

Too many areas where i'm shrunken down. That's gotten old fast, and it's stupid to separate something like unscrewing bolts. Seriously, what's the point?
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Old 06-26-11, 06:59 PM
  #325  
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Re: Official Duke Nukem Forever Thread of Bad(Classic) Oneliners

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