The Ultimate Simpsons Quotes Thread
10-12-01 | 03:42 PM
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From: Birmingham, UK
The Ultimate Simpsons Quotes Thread
now that the DVD for Season 1 is out, i thought it was about time. i'll start...
I'd rather let a thousand guilty men go free, than chase after 'em. - Chief Wiggum.
I'd rather let a thousand guilty men go free, than chase after 'em. - Chief Wiggum.
10-12-01 | 03:48 PM
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Bart: What the hell is this?
Lisa: A campy 70's throwback that appeals to Generation X'ers.
Bart: We need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks a little.
Lisa: A campy 70's throwback that appeals to Generation X'ers.
Bart: We need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks a little.
10-12-01 | 04:00 PM
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From: Directionally Challenged (for DirecTV)
2 Lionel Hutz classics...
Lionel Hutz: Mr. Simpson, don't you worry. I watched 'Matlock' in a bar last night. The sound wasn't on but I think I got the gist of it.
Lionel Hutz: Judge Schnider has had it in for me ever since i kinda ran over his dog...well if you replace the word "kinda" with "repeatedly" and the word "dog" with "son."
Lionel Hutz: Mr. Simpson, don't you worry. I watched 'Matlock' in a bar last night. The sound wasn't on but I think I got the gist of it.
Lionel Hutz: Judge Schnider has had it in for me ever since i kinda ran over his dog...well if you replace the word "kinda" with "repeatedly" and the word "dog" with "son."
10-12-01 | 04:32 PM
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From: San Diego, Ca
couple of my fave
Apu: Ah! the searing kiss of hot lead; how I missed you! I mean, I think I'm dying.
Dr. Nick Riviera: The kneebone's connected to the... something. The something's connected to the... red thing. The red thing's connected to my wrist watch. ...Uh oh.
Apu: Ah! the searing kiss of hot lead; how I missed you! I mean, I think I'm dying.
Dr. Nick Riviera: The kneebone's connected to the... something. The something's connected to the... red thing. The red thing's connected to my wrist watch. ...Uh oh.
10-12-01 | 08:09 PM
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From: Birmingham, UK
Homer walking past a line of people queing to see Empire Strikes Back.
"Wow! What an ending. Can you believe Darth Vader is actually Luke Skywalker's father?!"
"Wow! What an ending. Can you believe Darth Vader is actually Luke Skywalker's father?!"
10-12-01 | 10:11 PM
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From: HB, CA
From today's episode:
Miss Springfield- Gentlemen, start your whacking!
Off the top of my head:
Bart- Inside every hardened criminal lies the heart of a 10 year old boy.
Lisa- And vice versa
Miss Springfield- Gentlemen, start your whacking!
Off the top of my head:
Bart- Inside every hardened criminal lies the heart of a 10 year old boy.
Lisa- And vice versa
10-12-01 | 11:48 PM
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From: Buffalo, NY
"Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie!"
"No tv and beer make Homer something something."
"Lisa, vampires aren't real. They're make-believe. Just like elves, gremlins, and eskimos."
"No tv and beer make Homer something something."
"Lisa, vampires aren't real. They're make-believe. Just like elves, gremlins, and eskimos."
10-13-01 | 12:16 AM
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From: Seattle
"Whoa, whoa...a fat sarcastic Star Trek fan...you must be a devil with the ladies." Sarcastic guy
"I am the Lizzard Queen!" Lisa
"I used to rock and roll all night and party every day. Then it was
every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week in
which to get funky." Homer
"Yeah Moe that team really did suck last night...they just plain sucked...I've seen teams suck before but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked." Homer
"I am the Lizzard Queen!" Lisa
"I used to rock and roll all night and party every day. Then it was
every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week in
which to get funky." Homer
"Yeah Moe that team really did suck last night...they just plain sucked...I've seen teams suck before but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked." Homer
Fire bad!
10-13-01 | 06:07 PM
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From: east texas
homer: you mean you're never going to eat meat again?
lisa: no.
homer: what about ham?
lisa: no.
homer: bacon?
lisa: no.
homer: pork chops?
lisa: dad, those all come from the same animal.
homer: yeah right lisa, a magical animal.
or something to that effect.
lisa: no.
homer: what about ham?
lisa: no.
homer: bacon?
lisa: no.
homer: pork chops?
lisa: dad, those all come from the same animal.
homer: yeah right lisa, a magical animal.
or something to that effect.
10-13-01 | 09:26 PM
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From: toronto
Quimby: And now, I'd like to turn things over to our Grand Marshall, Mr. Leonard Nimoy.
Nimoy: I'd say this vessel could do at least Warp Five.
[appreciative laughter from the crowd]
Quimby: And let me say, ``May the Force Be With You!''
Nimoy: [annoyed] Do you even know who I am?
Quimby: [indignant] I think I do. Weren't you one of the Little Rascals?
Nimoy: I'd say this vessel could do at least Warp Five.
[appreciative laughter from the crowd]
Quimby: And let me say, ``May the Force Be With You!''
Nimoy: [annoyed] Do you even know who I am?
Quimby: [indignant] I think I do. Weren't you one of the Little Rascals?