About 10 days ago I ordered a power tower from Amazon. I've begun working out and the program I am doing requires you to do a shitload of pull ups. Yesterday I receive an email from Amazon saying "your address was undeliverable so your shipment has been received back at our fulfillment facility." So I contacted them and they said they would be refunding my credit card.

Kind of annoying, but not a big deal. Today, I hear a knock on my door. I go outside and there's a huge beaten to hell box containing a crib sitting on my porch. This box looked like it fell off the truck and got dragged a block or two before the guy noticed. So I peaked in the box, and yeah, it's a crib. I checked my credit card and it wasn't accidentally charged to my card or anything, it just somehow got sent to my address.

So what do I do here? I'm not lugging this heavy son of a bitch anywhere to send it back, will they send a UPS guy to pick it up? Would I be arrested if I were to let a friend expecting a kid have it? As far as Amazon has told me, the thing I was supposed to get is safely back at their warehouse, so I don't think they even know this thing is at my house.

Step 1: Immediately put the crib together
Step 2: Contact Amazon and ask how the hell you are supposed to do pull ups on this thing
Step 3: Profit

Maybe they know something you don't know?

Honestly, if it was me, I'd call them and let them know. But it'd be their responsibility to ship it back and that includes pickup. I wouldn't want to know how much that'd cost to ship back!

Donate it! I'm sure there are tons of families who could use a crib.

Just think, some poor kid is being born right now with no crib to go home to

Take pictures of the box and the condition it is in. I doubt Amazon would say you damaged the item, but better to say that UPS was at fault for any damage, and have the evidence to prove it.

Yeah, but that baby is going to have some incredible upper body strength.

It's a sign man, time to work on that first child.................................

The child is in the mail.

Maybe they thought it was for you...?

you didn't sign up for Amazon Mom to get Prime for 3 months did you?

Look on the bright side...they could have sent you a dead fetus book.

Check the invoice inside and see who it was billed to. The invoice probably won't match you're name or address. They may have stuck the wrong label on the wrong order. If the invoice matches your name and billing info, then you may be charged for it. If it doesn't match then you could either contact Amazon and have them arrange to pick it up, or keep it and do what you want with it.

Did you ask your wife if she sent it to you?

The label on the front of the box has my address, the tracking number for my actual order, plus the 72lb weight written on there. But the label is torn around the edges and taped on there. So I guess the label was torn off of my order accidentally and they just attached it to the nearest package.

I used $20 in Amazon credit and put the rest on my credit card. The $20 was given back to me within 20 minutes of me emailing them asking where my order was the day before the crib arrived. And the rest of the money has already been refunded to my credit card. The weird thing is the guy I contacted said my order was back at the warehouse, but I checked on Amazon and it shows my package was delivered on my porch. So my package shows being delivered back to the warehouse when they check and delivered to my house when I check?

I was going to contact Amazon and let them know but the box is so beaten up I'm worried they'd somehow blame me for the damage.

I've been working at an Amazon return warehouse since the Christmas season and stuff like that happens all the time. This one poor guy sent back his incorrect item. He ordered a pair of sweat pants and received an extra-large size anal plug. Imagine opening that on Christmas morning!

Do you like fucking? Well...you have a crib...might as well create a use for it.

I'd imagine that fucking in a crib would be very uncomfortable.

Wonder if it's for storing dead fetuses (or at least pictures of them)?

Like in the back of a Volkswagon

find a fat old lady to sit in dressed in her underwear and teach her to yell Eggman Eggman

See this is what happens when you buy a Kama Sutra book but no condoms. The amazon system is so sophisticated that it knows you will be needing it in the future.

Eat that for recommendations buy.com.

Do you have a girlfriend?

It's a sign. Time to have a child.

Nope, no girlfriend. Hell, I don't even really know any women outside of work, and those chicks aren't going for me, I've tried. Anyway, upon further inspection of the box I noticed another very small label addressed to Amazon from Stork Craft, so I let them know and 2 days later a UPS showed up with the new power tower I ordered and took the crib away. Not a very exciting conclusion to the story, but at least I don't have to worry about it anymore.