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Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

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Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

Old 12-22-05, 01:43 PM
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Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

My picks:

1.) "Christmas Shoes" by Newsong- I'd rather rub my taint with a rusty cheese grater than listen to this maudlin piece of shit again.

2.) "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime" by Paul McCartney- proof that Mark David Chapman shot the wrong guy
Old 12-22-05, 01:47 PM
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If I hear that Mariah Carey song "All I Want for Christmas" one more time, I might lose it. Thank God I gave up on the radio a long time...
Old 12-22-05, 02:00 PM
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Feliz Naviblah
Old 12-22-05, 02:05 PM
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All of them?
Old 12-22-05, 02:10 PM
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"Hey Santa" by Wilson Phillips

"Do They Know It's Christmas III" by Band Aid III
Old 12-22-05, 03:15 PM
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I second Christmas Shoes. While I do hate the song it does make me laugh because it is sung with so much conviction and is completely ridiculous.

Also is Christmas in America by Pat Benetar. All I need to say is that it's a patriotic Christmas song.
Old 12-22-05, 03:30 PM
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I thought that crappy grandma reindeer song would have been mentioned by now.

I absolutely loathe that fucking song.

Anyone ever heard Christian metal band Stryper's version of Winter Wonderland? I think it's more funny than vomit-inducing, but thought it worth mentioning.

Last edited by The_Infidel; 12-22-05 at 03:32 PM.
Old 12-22-05, 03:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Turd Ferguson
1.) "Christmas Shoes" by Newsong- I'd rather rub my taint with a rusty cheese grater than listen to this maudlin piece of shit again.
I actually don't think I've ever heard that song, so I can consider myself lucky (is it new this year or something?). Just to add my own nomination, I'd like to mention "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree"---it never really got on my nerves until recently, but it's done a number on 'em since.
Old 12-22-05, 04:24 PM
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"Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" is, by far, the worst Xmas song ever made.
Old 12-22-05, 07:24 PM
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"Last Christmas" by George Michael - Saccharine

"SAAAANNTA Claus is Comin' to Town" By Bruce Springsteen - His growly voice has never been more annoying.

"Santa Baby" by Madonna - Jeez, must you be a whore all the time?

"A Wonderful Christmas Time" by Paul McCartney - Simply having a bowel movement.

"Jingle Bells" by Barbra Streisand - The most obnoxiously sung p.o.s. I have ever heard.

Never heard that Shoe thing.

Last edited by Charlie Goose; 12-22-05 at 07:26 PM.
Old 12-22-05, 07:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Charlie Goose

"A Wonderful Christmas Time" by Paul McCartney - Simply having a bowel movement.

I think Paul was still coming down when he wrote this pos.

Christmas Shoes- As if suicide rates weren't high enough already during the holiday season, we have to have this oh-so uplifting holiday song about a boy and his dying mother dropped in our lap...thanks a lot.
Old 12-22-05, 10:58 PM
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A month after releasing that single McCartney was jailed in Japan for entering the country with a half pound of pot.

Maybe you have to smoke his luggage to appreciate the song.
Old 12-22-05, 11:21 PM
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One of the stores I work at has been playing the same Christmas CD since the start of November. I am not exagerating. One CD over and over for almost two months. Needless to say all of the songs on this album make me want to taze myself.
Old 12-23-05, 03:20 AM
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Name one and i am pretty sure i dont care for it.


Which is why i only listen to parody xmas songs.


"Walkin' around in women's underwear" sure is alot funnier that "Winter wonderland".
Old 12-23-05, 08:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Charlie Goose
"A Wonderful Christmas Time" by Paul McCartney - Simply having a bowel movement.

"Jingle Bells" by Barbra Streisand - The most obnoxiously sung p.o.s. I have ever heard.

Never heard that Shoe thing.
Christmas Shoes IS god-awful. I love Christmas music. I listen to a TON of it in November and December. There are very few songs that will make me change the radio station. Christmas Shoes is one of them. Also, the Babs Jingle Bells. I feel like I'm going to have a fucking epileptic seizure when she sings that shit. Also, her rendition of My Favorite Things is horrid too. It sounds like a goddamn funeral dirge. Speaking of My Favorite Things, since when is that a Christmas Song?! Christmas isn't even mentioned in that song. Drives me nuts.
Old 12-23-05, 12:04 PM
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Martina McBride's acapella version of "O Holy Night" grates on my nerves, especially near the end.

"Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" was amusing once or twice in 1982, but its just annoying now.

While not a Christmas song (but still a holiday song), "Auld Lang Syne" is one of my least favorite songs ever. It's so damn depressing and puts me in a bad mood every New Year's Eve. Why not have a fun song be the NYE anthem? At least during the millenium we got to use "1999". Hell, I'd prefer the oh-so annoying "Celebration", "Macarena", or even the dreaded "Chicken Dance" to ""Auld Lang Syne"".

Last edited by DRG; 12-23-05 at 12:18 PM.
Old 12-24-05, 12:07 AM
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I dislike nearly all popular music versions of christmas carols. I really only like them when choirs sing them.
Old 12-24-05, 08:40 AM
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Originally Posted by DRG
Why not have a fun song be the NYE anthem? At least during the millenium we got to use "1999".
You want "fun" and non-depressing, but "1999" is about the end of the world!!!! The world ends in 2000, so we have to party like it's 1999.

Some lyrics:
I was dreamin' when I wrote this
Forgive me if it goes astray
But when I woke up this mornin'
Coulda sworn it was judgment day

The sky was all purple
There were people runnin' everywhere
Tryin' to run from the destruction
You know I didn't even care

'Cuz they say two thousand zero zero: party over
Oops! Out of time
So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999

I was dreamin' when I wrote this
So sue me if I go 2 fast
But life is just a party
And parties weren't meant 2 last

War is all around us
My mind says prepare to fight
So if I gotta die
I'm gonna listen to my body tonight
Old 12-24-05, 10:25 AM
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None really bother me that much. But Beyonce's Christmas song and Mariah's song drive me fucking nuts.
Old 12-24-05, 10:57 AM
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Any redneck-ified version of a christmas standard makes me want to jump off a tall building.
Old 12-24-05, 11:15 AM
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Christmas Wrapping by the waitresses

I need a lyric sheet to follow along....
Old 12-24-05, 05:23 PM
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Originally Posted by covenant
Christmas Wrapping by the waitresses

I need a lyric sheet to follow along....
I always liked that one...
Old 12-24-05, 10:41 PM
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Christmas Shoes
Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree
Holly Jolly Christmas
Old 12-25-05, 02:19 AM
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Originally Posted by movieking
Holly Jolly Christmas
Ooooh, good call. That one IS awful and aggressively insipid as well.
As much as I dislike "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree", "Jingle Bell Rock" is a little worse since it's such an earworm you can't get that dreadful song out of your head all day. In either case, Christmas and Rock don't really go together all that well and sure as hell not in the same song title.

Personally, I don't get all the Maraih-bashing. I'm not a fan or anything (haven't even heard anything from her new album AFAIK), but I really like that song. It's catchy and playful. I think it's the one new Christmas standard of the past 10-15 years and will be a holiday staple for years to come.
(puts on flame-resistant suit and ducks)
Old 12-25-05, 01:16 PM
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not really vomit inducing, but the cover of Springstein's 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town' sure makes Santa sound like a paedophile.

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