Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

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11-11-09, 01:07 PM

#51

superdeluxe

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

Quote:

Originally Posted by Turd Ferguson

My picks:

1.) "Christmas Shoes" by Newsong- I'd rather rub my taint with a rusty cheese grater than listen to this maudlin piece of shit again.

I love that song.

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11-18-09, 08:07 PM

#52

DJLinus

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

Patton Oswalt has a great bit about "Christmas Shoes":

<object width='480' height='385'><param name='movie' value='http://clip.vn/w/mLx'/><param name='allowFullScreen' value='true'/><param name='allowScriptAccess' value='always'/><embed type='application/x-shockwave-flash' allowFullScreen='true' allowScriptAccess='always' width='480' height='385' src='http://clip.vn/w/mLx' ></embed></object>

And I just bought Father Guido Sarducci's "One Hundred Bulbs (on the Christmas Tree)", where he sets out to make the worst Christmas song ever:

<object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/hAQ5GTWR3es&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/hAQ5GTWR3es&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/12zP_-_KUWA&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/12zP_-_KUWA&hl=en_US&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Last edited by DJLinus; 11-18-09 at 08:13 PM.

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11-19-09, 12:56 AM

#53

Match

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

Anything with animals singing.

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/GKhJ9IQdWQ8&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/GKhJ9IQdWQ8&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/d9LqRl7tqf4&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/d9LqRl7tqf4&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Last edited by Match; 11-19-09 at 12:59 AM.

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11-19-09, 11:25 AM

#54

Mazje

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

While most novelty songs (Grandma Got Run Over, Jingle Dogs, even the Mackenzie Brothers' 12 Days) wear thin after a while, they can all be forgiven for at least once being humorous/entertaining (at least to someone).

The same can't be said for Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime." I know he gets a lot of flack for his post-Beatles career...and I know comparing a single artist to their former glory with one of the greatest bands of all time is unfair...but...seriously...listen to "Wonderful Christmastime." And try to imagine how anyone ever even remotely involved in the Beatles could have written that song. Even people who have only listened to Beatles songs couldn't write a song that bad. Nickelback couldn't...well.

Anyway, that's my vote for not only worst Christmas Song, but also worst Song, and Worst Thing Ever.

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11-19-09, 12:05 PM

#55

chino77

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

ive never heard christmas shoes but that patton oswalt bit was awesome.

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11-19-09, 10:56 PM

#56

DieselsDen

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

Prince's ANOTHER LONELY CHRISTMAS is likewise intolerable. It's about some girl who died on Christmas Eve. The lyrics are overwrought, and the instrumentals are just over-the-top. (Although I kinda like it...)

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11-20-09, 11:42 AM

#57

The Infidel

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

Quote:

Originally Posted by DieselsDen

I've always hated this song, not because it's a bad Christmas-themed song, but because it's just a bad song overall. It sounds like it was slapped together in about a minute, not rehearsed at all, and recorded live directly onto a cassette tape. The worst Prince song ever.

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11-20-09, 01:07 PM

#58

Matt

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

Quote:

Originally Posted by chino77

ive never heard christmas shoes but that patton oswalt bit was awesome.

Brother, you are in luck.

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11-20-09, 01:44 PM

#59

spainlinx0

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

Still love the Mariah song, and if you people would stop listening to FM radio it wouldn't be that played out for you.

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11-20-09, 04:05 PM

#60

DieselsDen

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Infidel

I agree with your statements, but I've been a Prince fan since CONTROVERSY, and there are ton of songs he's written which are far, far worse.

4 THE TEARS IN YOUR EYES is probably a better Christmas song.

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11-20-09, 09:13 PM

#61

Mrs. Danger

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

What, no love for Debbie?

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/zzSSuy8_PrI&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/zzSSuy8_PrI&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Not just the smarmy lyrics, but the continuo provided by a metronome and only two lines of melody, combine to make this a sickeningly sweet, sticky mess.

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11-20-09, 10:31 PM

#62

GuessWho

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

karaoke version.... so you can appreciate the musicality

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11-20-09, 11:24 PM

#63

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

Quote:

Originally Posted by dhmac

"Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" is, by far, the worst Xmas song ever made.

Number one with a bullet... I can't stand this freaking song. Thank God grandma got run over... hopefully the band is next!

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11-23-09, 03:18 PM

#64

FantasticVSDoom

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

Yeah Xmas Shoes is not only the worst Xmas song, but pretty much the worst song ever, next to Lee Greenwoods God Bless the USA..

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11-23-09, 03:23 PM

#65

Mikael79

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

Quote:

Originally Posted by Match

Anything with animals singing.

I'm at work and can't see the video, but that already has me laughing...

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11-23-09, 03:29 PM

#66

SweetP

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

This one will seriously make you want to punch kittens:

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/9jf-GVIxy9c&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/9jf-GVIxy9c&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Last edited by SweetP; 11-23-09 at 03:30 PM. Reason: i can't spell!!!

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11-23-09, 06:19 PM

#67

big whoppa

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

Never heard of Christmas Shoes either. That McCartney song still makes me want me to take a gun and shot him in the head.

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11-23-09, 07:40 PM

#68

The Edit King

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

Quote:

Originally Posted by 12thmonkey

I can't get this song out of my head!!!!! Make it stoooooooooooop!

-THEEK!

Last edited by The Edit King; 11-23-09 at 08:39 PM.

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11-23-09, 08:43 PM

#69

JMG

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

Pretty much all the bad has been listed. Now for a classic sung by are own Kvrdave!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mk4woNRD7NQ

@ The 2.14 mark he really shines.

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11-25-09, 06:54 AM

#70

DJLinus

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

Pretty much the same Patton Oswalt bit about "New Shoes" that I posted earlier...but ANIMATED!

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11-25-09, 07:26 AM

#71

Skyclad01

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

William Hung - Deck The Halls

Charro - Donde Esta Santa Clause

William Hung - Ruldoph The Red Nosed Reindeer

Tiny Tim - Ruldoph The Red Nosed Reindeer

Tammy Faye - Jungle Bells

Wayne Newton - Jingle Bell Hustle

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11-25-09, 07:28 AM

#72

cdollaz

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

That Jingle Cats clip is awesome.

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11-25-09, 07:29 AM

#73

Skyclad01

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boba Fett

The Christmas Song by Alvin and the Chipmunks

I have to second that, no question!

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11-25-09, 07:30 AM

#74

cdollaz

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

Quote:

Originally Posted by MWB

Brother, you are in luck.

Is that the real video, or did some joker just grab a camera and lip-synch it in a mall?

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11-25-09, 07:37 AM

#75

Skyclad01

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Re: Worst, Most Vomit-Inducing Christmas Songs of All Time

There is always worse though.

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Mk4woNRD7NQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Mk4woNRD7NQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

Quote:

The tape has been passed around for years, the singer is unknown. From the web here is a description "If you need a good laugh, and I mean 'can't breathe, stomach hurts' belly laugh, listen to the worst rendition of Oh Holy Night ever. Warning, put all drinks down and take a few deep breaths first so you don't suffocate from laughter. It starts out as sounding like a merely poor rendition of the song, but just wait."

Especially when you get to the 2:20 mark