Dramatic description of meta situation. Expressions of anguish/disgust. Falsely modest introductory disclaimer.

Detailed description of current situation. Terse and misleading analysis of non-exemplary item. Offer of hope.
Links to previous items. Harsh criticism of prevailing convervative/liberal figurehead.

Completely unworkable controversial suggestion.

Pre-emptive defense of suggestion. Re-iteration of premise. Re-iteration of anguish/disgust.

Contrived example of applied suggestion:

Item in italics

Unintentionally ironic comment.

Item in italics

Forced attempt at humor.

Optional item in italics [structural]

Intelligent comment marred by typographical error. Extraneous suggestion. Enthusiastic conclusion. Extraneous suggestion. Extraneous suggestion.

Question? Disclaimer. Invitation to comment.

Thinly disguised personal attack on thread originator, followed by obligatory smilie.

Detailed deconstruction of straw man argument never actually set forth by original poster.

Thinly supported counter argument that makes sense only in light of non-existent straw man position set forth above.

Smug self-congratulatory praise.

Rolleyes.

Shameless bumping of thread to reiterate ill-considered position.

Query as to intelligence level of Otters who haven't yet posted here.

Inane humor. Non-sequitur.

Innocuous comment. Lakers reference.

Genuinely helpful comment.
Realistic opinion.
Wit.
Pathos.
Truly amusing humor.
Appropriate smilie.
mini

In Before the In Before the Lock

Moving to Moving To Forum

Gratuitous sprinkling of non-standard smileys in vain attempt to disguise lack of substantive content.

Shallow statement of agreement with stance of thread originator in vain attempt to be noticed despite newbie status.

Ben

Lack of signature to appear unique.

(hey, wait a minute, are you talking about me )

Assertion of the existence of previous similar threads, coupled with a mention of the site's search feature, offered in a tone of derisive faux-helpfulness.

Rebuttal to quoted portion. Bolded words used to highlight signficant points. Angry smilie face.

Rebuttal to quoted portion. Extreme anger expression pointing at stupidity of quoted portion, and stupidity of the portion's advocate.

Thin metaphor circuitously comparing the quotee to a rectum of some description.

Extremely clever retort designed to make the quotee appear unbelievably foolish.

Smug happy face smilie.

irrelevant post about insider humor written 467 days ago on another board.

arrogant defamation of original poster based on my professional training.

.spoiler remark that makes no sense.

randomly placed mention of Lakers.

Confused poster wondering what is going on
Bad attempt at humor to make self seem less foolish
Laughing smiley to mask bad attempt at humor

Hijack of thread to discuss vain attempts at reproduction with model-stature woman.

Query regarding failure of women to notice poster, coupled with self-aggrandizing, and clearly exaggerated, description of sexual prowess.

Token mention of thread topic. Irrelevant commentary on unpredictability of human nature.

Bad, well-circulated joke.

Query regarding mods failure to censure personal attack.

Link to thread where another member who posted personal attack was banned.

Unwarranted and unsupported accusation of bias on part of mods. Self deprecating remark. Weak statement of general support for mods, expression of understanding of difficulty of mods job. Reassertion of accusation of bias.

Statement of intent to stay away from forum until things change.

Backpedal.

Insincere expression of appreciation of thoughtfullness of those with opposing viewpoints.

Bewilderment at lack of post from SDSDFD.

Bump in vain attempt to get more Otters interested in abstract thread.

Picture of half naked woman as enticement.

Picture of Kobe Bryant to generate controversy.

Quoting whole mod opinion to kiss ass.
Agreeing with mod opinion to kiss ass.
Restating mod opinion to kiss ass.
Approprite kiss ass smilie.

Unabashed attack on the originator of this thread.

[comment deleted by mod 6/20/01 10:47]

[BANNED]

More backpedal. Reference to previous obligatory smilie after thinly-veiled attack. Vague statement impugning the sense of humor of prior posters. Hints as to dificiencies in the offline life of other forum members.

Italicized contrast between thinly-veiled attack with smilie and unabashed attack resulting in ban. Thin agreement for purposes of self-preservation.

Cornered animal-like stance wherein one poster posts multiple quoted prior posts in order to defend pride.

Expression of disgust at lack of consistency of prior poster's responses.

Extreme shock at banning. Pleas for leniency for banned member. Links to constructive and humerous threads by banned member.


Suggestion that matter be discussed in Suggestions and Feedback Forum.