I used to lend out DVD's and I just made a list of the ones I lent out. But it’s like pulling teeth to get them back so I rarely let anyone borrow them anymore.

I can't imagine not lending them out if asked. I think my movies have been watched more by others than by myself. Lending them out if a big part of how I justify owning so many.

If we get so into our possessions that we can't share, then the things own us, not the other way around.

I didn't used to lend out, but I've relaxed my policy a little. The people I lend to know how I treat my stuff and treat it the same.

Currently I have out:
24: S2
Friday Night Lights: S1
Smallville: S1
Smallville: S4
the Unit: S1
Entourage: S1
Arrested Development: S1
Nightmares & Dreamscapes

and a couple movies.

Just thought I'd share since I have so may TV sets out, maybe give a few of you a heart attack thinking about it.

He's a mooch. Granted, he's an extreme case, but I still find most people expect you to be their local Blockbuster when they find out you have a decent DVD collection. Like others here, I used to loan stuff out (DVDs and CDs) and got burned way too many times, so I stopped. The masses only have themselves to blame for me closing the video shop.

I don't think we'll be the ones having the heart attack when some of those titles don't come back home the way they should.

Exactly! That's why whenever someone wants to borrow your DVDs, you should send them HERE.

I pretty much stopped lending out DVDs. And if I do, if the movie has special packaging, I will give them the disc in a blank case. I've had too many unique cases damaged because people don't know how to respect another person's property.

(Although, I think I'd put the FN rating on the top of the page.)

I used a sign-out sheet when I started lending. The borrower writes their name, the title of the DVD and the date when they borrowed it. There is another column for them to write the date when they return it.

That works well if you are low volume - but if you are a high volume lender it suffers by being date ordered, so it gets hard to find the entry when the disc is returned.

After a couple of thousand of 'rentals' I went to a sort of library-card system like in grade-school - the first time a disc is borrowed, I write up a little 3x5 index card with the disc's name and the rest of the card is used for the borrowers' names and checkout dates. The cards of borrowed DVDs go in a little box sorted alphabetically by title, so when the DVD is returned, it is easy to find the card and then stick it in the DVDs case, ready for the next person to borrow.

I agree about the special packaging being too easily damaged, I always repackage any fancy editions into plain amaray cases.

I tend to lend out the disc in a plain case, keeping the original case in it's spot on the shelf. I'll then put it in dvdspot as borrowed.

How about a quill and a sheet of parchment?

I hate lending out movies also. Most of my friends are good at returning them; only bc i see them 4 times a week and pretty much get them myself when I go to their houses. I do have one friend though, who will borrow 3-4 movies whenever he is at my house and I won't get them back for at least a month (and thats only bc I'll take them back when I go to his house, he'll never drop them off).
I have a text document which I keep notes in on whoever borrows movies then just erase it when I get them back. I also keep the original case bc they always seem to get messed up when loaning them, and just put the discs in empty cases to loan out.

It's not even about that really. I used to lend out my DVD's a bunch. The problem was (as I'm guessing with most people here on the forums) they were coming back in terrible condition or not coming back at all. I have had many discs come back scratched up or packaging damaged (tears, rips, around heavy smoking environments)

In the case of DVD's not coming back at all, I had to constantly check if the person I lent out a DVD to was going to return it. If you don't have the time to watch 1-2 films in a month or two time span, you shouldn't be borrowing films at all.

Simply said, (most) people just don't treat others property as they would their own. Then again there are people that treat their things like crap, so the above doesn't really apply.

After so many bad experiences, I have only let my family, a couple of my best friends and my girlfriend borrow from my collection. They all have treated my discs with respect and got them back in a timely fashion.

Seeing that my collection is a big (and ongoing) investment, I shouldn't have to replace discs (which cost me money) because other people are careless with them.

Has anyone found a 'nice' way to say no, without sounding like a bitch?

Every time I have ever loaned anything, I either never got it back, or it came back heavily damaged.

I eventually decided that if my choice was to be a bitch with a perfect dvd collection, or be 'nice' and watch borrowers damage my stuff, I would rather be a bitch.

I just wish there was a middle ground, where we didn't get shamed for wanting to draw a clear boundary.

Exactly. I don't like having to rebuy stuff other people damaged. To, me, if someone is working on a big collection, you should respect that, but other people think if you have a big room full of books it is a 'free' library for them, and if you have a lot of dvds it is a 'free' blockbuster.

If I cared that much about packaging or whether a disc got scratches on it, I wouldn't lend them out. Or, if I did, I would inform the lendee that I cared about condition, and if the item was damaged at all, I would need them to give me the replacement $. Carefully spelling out before lending that this item will cost me exactly $xx to replace if you damage it in even a slight way.

I think after hearing your crazy talk like that, most would decline to borrow from you. But if they did, you'd be covered for replacement cost.

Personally, I've had discs look like they've been used to scour dishes but they still play fine, scratches have never bothered me.

Crazy talk?

I haven't talked about anything vastly different than most here who have had bad experiences (or maybe a little strict on who they lend out to). To single out me is a little silly.

Apparently I'm crazy because I don't lend my DVD's out to anyone who asks nicely.

When did I single you out?

I don't think I've even read your post(s). I was replying to the last several days worth of posts of us packaging sensitive collectors. I am one of them.

I wasn't singling anyone out, and it could apply to myself as well. I just used the generic 'you's in my post instead of a bunch of 'I's or 'me's.

I just don't lend out my DVD's. If a friend wants to watch something I have, I have no objection to watching something again! I'll have them come over and watch the flick at my place, or go to their place and just chill and watch it over there. Expensive things like DVD sets of TV shows I won't lend out, I spent good money and there's only probably only two or three friends, two now living out of area, that I'd trust to borrow a DVD. I've had too many bad experiences in the past.

My first option is I tell them to come by to watch it.

If not,....

I literally have a library card system made specifically for DVDs. Came with the cards, the pockets and the stamp with the date.

I put the card on my shelf in the place of the DVD and I make a big joke of a hoopla just like they were taking it from the library. I let them know the late fee for missing the date and I will even call them and say "this is Joe from the DVD Public Library. According to our records...."

Sure it sounds like a big joke but in the back of my mind I am really saying "Look mother fucker, give me my shit back."

I also note in in DVD Profiler.

I hate lending movies out to friends.. only about 10% of my friends are actually good about returning them.. 90% don't return them until you ask.. and even then they will forget about 6 times and act like I'm being petty for asking.. sometimes they have the movies for so long they don't even remember what they borrowed..

I'm missing a lot of discs as a result.. I give everyone one chance.. if you are "one of those people"--you don't get to borrow anymore..

I have all my disc online in my own database I've written.. I'm going to add a borrowed section so i can see what people have and when.

i have had similar run ins like others here. my family joke that i would make you sign a waiver to get them out and return them in the same condition, but i haven't yet.

i have lent to some co-workers, one is also a collector and usually returns in a timely matter and in the same condition. the other recently returned one movie with the plastic cover all screwed up. it was probably my fault because i still had the wrapping on it before i gave it to him and the label was probably stuck to the cover, but it was just annoying. i bought some blank cases just for that occasion.

I use DVD Profiler, and it works great for me. I typically only lend out movies to close family members. I have family members that borrow movies listed as users, and I have the movie checked out by them when they borrow it. I've been burned by a few family members, so I told them they can't borrow anymore, period. Most of my family knows how serious I treat my collection now, and I tell them I want it back just like the way it left. Slipcovers never go with the movie, and le's or boxed sets, they will only be borrowed by family members that I know will treat it well. I simply tell someone asking that if they want to borrow something that is hard to replace, then they have to agree to replace it for X amount of dollars if it doesn't come back in the same condition it left. As far as friends or co-workers go, somehow I've been able to talk about movies or recommend a movie, but the conversation rarely turns in the direction of me lending it out. In DVD Profiler, you can even sort the list of dvd's so that all your borrowed movies are on the top so you can take a quick glance and see what is out.

I actually started using DVD Profiler because I wanted to keep track of my collection and who was borrowing what. I've lost a few titles, and one movie was not returned for almost a year because I forgot all about it. I like that my collection is enjoyed by more than just me, and my family even started calling my house "Bennywood" when they wanted to come over to borrow a movie that I had.

What I have out right now, according to DVD Profiler:
The Fast and the Furious-Tricked out Edition-my niece has borrowed this movie several times, and she swears she returned it. I can't find it in my collection, and I'm willing to bet it is buried somewheres in her room or house.

Troy-2 disc (1st Release)- missing in action. Probably buried with above movie, but who knows. I picked up the Director's Cut, so I can live without this one.

Toy Story 2 (1 disc) - missing in action. This movie was new when it was borrowed, and my family hadn't even seen it yet. Oh well.

Shooter
Alien Legacy Set-I let this one out the door 'cos I had picked up Alien Quadrilogy. I might let my nephew keep them since he likes them so much.

Sideways - I gave this movie away actually. Someone from my wife's job was going on a wine tasting vacation, so I recommended this movie. I told my wife to tell her co-worker if she liked the movie, she could keep it.

My wife actually suggested to me that I simply mark my dvd's with a marker, disc and case, to help keep track of them. This was before I found DVD Profiler, and it took me a few days to explain to her that I'd rather have them unmarked and in as new condition as possible. She probably still does not quite understand, but then again, she doesn't care for most of the movies in my (or our) collection.

Someone mentioned getting back a movie that had bitemarks in it. That's funny because a few years back, The Chronicles of Narnia came back with bitemarks on it. It actually wasn't borrowed, but my kids took it with them to grandma's to watch. It was the 1st release 2 disc set, just a few days old, and I found out my daughter, who was almost 2 at the time, did it. My wife wanted to see how long it took me before I noticed it, and I think it took about 5 minutes or so from when they came back with the movie. I wasn't that pissed, and the slipcover was still in great shape.

dvdspot has a loaned section, works out pretty well.

Tell him you will pray frequently that his needy child doesn't grow to be the asshat he is.

Edit: In fact, try and sit him down and show him this specific thread in this forum, so he knows others feel that his behavior was extremely asshat-ish, and not just yourself.