asianxcore

I wouldn't have thrown her out (which you wouldn't do either) and it wouldn't have been worth it to throw a big fuss in front of guests. We were all having a great time before she showed up and I didn't feel like ruining the mood.

It just annoys me that I was very polite in saying that she could not borrow them. But I guess since we are "friends" it's ok to make me look completely stupid in front of my guests and take my movies anyway.

I love my friends there is no doubt about that. But the thing is all my "true" friends have a level of respect for me and my things (as I do for theirs). Just 2 weeks ago a friend (of 5 years) asked to borrow my Band of Brothers set. I apologized to him saying no, because it was a gift. He left it at that and didn't constantly bug me about it. I have lent stuff out to him before, graphic novels, TV sets, DVDs, games, etc, so it wasn't that I was being super anal about it.

We used to work together. This was maybe 2 months ago. I've only known her for maybe 8 months maybe.

mijorico

The only reason I went with the lawnmower analogy is because recently a neighbor was complaining about having lent his lawnmower to another neighbor, who cut his wet grass with it at the end of last year, resulting in rusted blades.

The comparison was to illustrate the fact that people who borrow your things don't take as good a care of it as they should, whether it be a lawnmower or a DVD. If I let someone borrow something, I expect it back in the condition I gave it to them.

MovieExchange

And once again I have to say that with your stellar condescending attitude, it's amazing that you haven't managed to convert any of us. Maybe if you tell us once again what a great person you are and what sad greedy pieces of shit we are, it'll work?

But hey, if feeling that lending out your DVD's makes you such a great human being, if you have such a low opinion of yourself that you have to use that as your benchmark, then you certainly have my pity.

Maybe you should look into this capitalism thing some more, because if you want to relate this to capitalism, one should be renting out their private property and making money off of it, not giving it out. You're thinking of charity. Go back to school.

Jgh8x

This thread made me think that there were not any sane DVDTalkers; I'm happy to say that this post made me realize that atleast there was one.

Material things fade folks.

SoSpacey

I would rather buy someone a DVD than lend it to them if I know they dont care care of stuff.

It is not about material things, or being selfish, etc.

cpgator

For the record I will usually loan out DVDs to anyone who asks, as long as I haven't had a problem with them in the past.

Now the reason for my post - hired a painter to do some work in my house, and most of the time I was not there. Come to find out, he was taking DVDs home, making copies of them, and returning them the next day. He never asked or said anything about it. That really pissed me off when I found out.

Kevin M. Dean

This thread reminded me of the site: I'm Not Blockbuster You Cheap Bastard You!

gutwrencher

Changed? Hell no. Because I still don't smoke crack.

No. My dvds(or kayaks, or bongs, or..) do NOT leave my home without me. I'm still a selfish(smart) sonofabitch. Get a life...and a job....and buy yer own shit.

dhmac

I loan out only to friends and family, and only one DVD per person (although I do count a Boxed Set as "one").

Sondheim

I'm just impressed that we managed to turn this into a moral issue.

I've always wanted to be the type of person who engages in "aberrant behavior." Thanks to this thread, I know that I have been engaging in that sort of behavior for the past four or five years, since I refuse to loan out my DVDs to all but my two or three closest friends.

I'm so happy to be aberrant. It saves me money, too.

Edit: And sanity is overrated.

Pizza

Forget about borrowing. I actually had one co-worker try to shame me into GIVING them my Disney DVDs because their little girl would enjoy them. (I'm sure she would, but she's not my daughter.)

As for all these poor DVD starved folks who want to sponge off of others, maybe someone can start a "DVDs for the Cheap" charity drive to feed all those starving DVD players that live in such a hard, heartless world.

audiomixer

Nobody touches my collection except me. That's why there is Netflix!

onebyone

Just reading about people borrowing dvds makes me nervous. Unless you are a small group of people I really trust, I am damn sure not loaning out my DVDs. No way.

JimmySRU

only to my mom

Jah-Wren Ryel

Actually I have never once said that my free lending makes me a "great person" or any of the other strawmen you've claimed. When the "cost" of being a good neighbor is the occasional $15 hit to the wallet, it is EASY to be a good neighbor. You don't see me advocating that people lend their cars or their houses to anyone that asks - its people like that who are willing to put something substantial on the line that are deserving of accolades.

I've just got a sense of proportion, and see no value in being focused on the trivial. Perhaps $15 is not trivial for you, in which case you probably don't have a particularly large DVD collection and your silly tirades have been moot from the start. Probably explains your baseless indignation about being condescended to, too -- but NOW you have some base, congratulations.

I long ago did a cost benefit analysis and decided that charging anything wasn't worth the overhead, especially since it gives the renter a sense of entitlement, causes a loss of good will and brings up problems with lending to people at the office - doing "business" on company time, after overhead and hassles it ends up costing more than just lending them out freely, which is also a lot more satisifying.

Jah-Wren Ryel

Congratulations. As a extremely strong believer in private property, I support your aberrant behavior for the greater good, just like being a strong believer in the freedom of expression means supporting people like Andres Serrano for the greater good and supporting people who criticism Serrano.

MovieExchange

Sure you have, with your little "makes the world a better place" comment. Just as you have repeatedly insinuated that there is something wrong with the rest of us because we don't lend our personal property out to whomever asks - which is saying that you're better because you do give yours out. You're being a condescending jerk, which is why you are getting this type of response from me. See, I don't give a damn what you do with your personal property... it's just very sad that you can't give that same sort of respect back.


What you have is a personal opinion and preference. The problem is that you are acting like those of us that do not share this opinion are lesser people, which means you come off like a condescending ass. Thus, once again, the reason that you're not converting anyone to your way of thinking.


My collection? Around 1300 titles, give or take 50. The store I OWN that deals in new and used DVD's? Around 2000 titles. So yeah... nice attempt at making one of those strawmen you accused me of using. You're wrong. Again.

What is not trivial for me is my personal property. I won't give it out to people that won't respect it. Something that you repeatedly refuse to listen to.



Nice attempt at a dodge. You brought capitalism into this, and you got your ass handed to you for it. Next time know what you're talking about before shooting your mouth off.

Leave the attitude behind in the future. I'm not going to entertain your little ego-stroking fest, and I'm not interested in dealing with you again until you can grow up and realize that just because I don't treat my personal property the way you think I should, that doesn't make me a lesser person than you.

mijorico

See, it's remarks like this, coupled with the remarks you've made in an attempt to support your position, that make it seem like you're going out of your way to exude an intellect that, really, has zero to do with the topic of discussion.

I don't think anyone can argue with you anymore, because I don't think anyone knows what the hell you're talking about. Maybe that's the idea.

james2025a

Well i have always been someone that will lend a DVD as long as the person borrowing treats it with respect. I am close to breaking point now however because of a few lends that have pissed me off. I lent a guy a copy of Boogie Nights and he had it for 18 months and didn't even get round to watching the movie. Hes a good mate but boy was i pissed off. He had actually lent the film himself to his brother. Now i get along with his brother, but he didn't even to bother asking me if he could...he just went ahead and did it. I am about to implement a procedure that is similar to any DVD rental. Must be kept in good condition and returned in a timely fashion. If i ever borrow anything at all i only keep it for a short time and return it as quickly as possible in the same condition i received it. Too many people that just don't give a shit about other peoples property.

d2cheer

Not any more I don't just like I don't borrow friends money anymore...

starman9000

I used to be a little more anal about it and not loan them out much, but I have recently stopped buying dvds, and all of the sudden I don't find myself being as protective of the ones I do have.

Dr. Henry Jones, Jr.

How does someone criticism Serrano

Loc Nar

My Ten Commandments of DVD Lending (many of which have been mentioned by posters above):

Do not loan OOP DVD's

Do not loan DVD's that you have not yet watched (like many, I have an unwatched backlog and I just don't like the idea of loaning out something I have not even seen yet)

Do not loan boxed sets or tv seasons (they take too long to be returned and there is a higher chance of discs/packaging being damaged)

Do not loan more than one movie at a time to a borrower (this makes it easier to track what is on loan. Also, by experience, I have found that when people borrow a stack of films, they remain gone for one month per DVD borrowed).

Do not loan a DVD in its original case. (Instead, keep some generic loaner cases around for the loaned disc.)

Do not recommend that someone borrow a movie from you because you think they will like it (This perhaps is a human nature thing, but I have found that when I recommend or hype a movie to someone to any degree as something I think they will like and then loan it to them, it takes them forever to get around to watching it. Thus, I either have terrible taste or folks simply prefer to "discover" films on their own. I know I am guilty of this when someone gives me a book to read that they know I will love. It usually takes me a while to get around to reading it . . . So, if someone, on their own, expresses an interest in seeing a movie that I happen to have, I don't mind offering to loan it to them. Those get watched and returned much faster.)

Do not fail to give an expected return date. (I have made the mistake of saying "no hurry" when asked by a borrower when the DVD should be returned. I now say, "If you could get it back within two weeks, that would be great.")

Do not loan a DVD to anyone who you do not know well and see on a regular basis. Regular basis for me is once a week.

Do not display your collection on open racks. This invites borrowing requests from folks to whom you would rather not loan. I keep my collection in Can-Am cabinets, which were worth every penny.

Do not give second chances to borrowers who abuse your trust and fail to return/damage/lose your property. (I had to cut off lending to a good friend who taught me many of the above rules. We're still good friends, but I do not lend him DVD's anymore.)

MrE

Excellent Loc Nar ... sounds like a must-read sticky to me!

crazyrabbits

I will lend most of my DVD's out. Yes, even the OOP ones (T2, MIB). All I ask is that people keep the disc and case in good condition, and they oblige. Besides, I will probably upgrade to HD-DVD in a few years, so it's not like they have a whole lot of resale value. Christ, the market is diluted enough as it is.