I've never undestood the mentality of borrowing something. I just could never see myself going into someone's house, seeing something that interests me and saying "oh can I borrow that". I just dont get it.

When I was in college, my roommate let someone borrow my dvds and never returned them. This person took 5 dvds and to this day I still have no idea who took my dvds. From this experience I never let anyone borrow my dvds.

Make that four groups:

d) those who have trustworthy friends.

I've had shitty experiences with lending a few games. In each instance, they came back scratchy, late, and only after a long (months) period of constant inquiry. It was usually questionable whether I’d get the stuff back at all. Utter stress. I have met very few people (maybe one or two) who treat their goods with any decency. Since then (many years ago), I have not and will not let anything out. Even if someone let me borrow something (and that is not to say I asked them; rather, it was them bringing it to me and saying "take it"), I couldn’t bring myself to reciprocate. Not after inspecting the scratchy disc they just handed me and have the past come rushing back.

Personally, it's not just people I would consider to be friends who ask to borrow DVDs, though. As a matter of fact, the people who have most often asked me to borrow DVDs are people I really don't know all that well (a next-door neighbor, a couple of local actors I had at the house one day, etc.)

Actually, the neighbor wasn't a bad risk. I had been over to his apartment once to help him hook up his scanner and saw that he was very likely the most anal person on the planet. I trusted him to treat my discs better than even I would. Plus, since he lived right next door, I knew I'd run into him often, making it easy to return them once he was done.

That worked out well.

But I do have a friend who is such a slob that I would think twice about loaning him DVDs if he asked just because I've seen his stuff enough to note that it's in generally poor shape (stuff spilled on everything, etc.), not to mention that he's constantly losing things.

Fortunately, he doesn't ask to borrow my movies because I don't have anything he'd like that he doesn't already own.

I entirely agree. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I have never had anyone ask to borrow a DVD. But I sometimes offer to lend them to friends when I think that they might enjoy them. Big difference.

If I were living in a college dorm setting, as several posters have mentioned, I doubt I'd even have them in my dorm room unless it was a few titles that I didn't care much about. But when it comes to older adult friends and neighbors I know well, that's different. And relatives are not an issue for me, since they live a thousand miles away.

In a sense, I am talking about an entirely different sort of social circle than those who have described problems with DVD lending. And the only reason I weighed in on the issue is that I think the blanket statements that lending leads to trouble are overwrought. It depends on the circumstances IMHO.

I lend out dvds from time to time. Mainly to co-workers, and I haven't had any problems with them yet (except for one guy who took several weeks to get some back to me). They know I have a rather large collection, and will ask from time to time if they can borrow something. I give them a week to watch it (keep track of loan dates and return dates in dvdprofiler). The only other person I loan to is another dvdtalker that lives in town, and we swap back and forth occassionally. He usually keeps my discs a little longer, but then, I do the same with his. We usually swap like a dozen at a time just because I don't see him that often.

I've never had anyone not return anything, although I did have a disc disappear from my last apartment when I was in school. I'm guessing it was a fellow student who came over to work on some stuff, and just decided to borrow without asking. Kinda ticks me off, but I chalk it up to experience and don't let anyone in the house that I don't trust now.

My social circle is a very responsible bunch (professional associates and decent neighbors). Admittedly, my post outlining "three groups" was a bit tongue in cheek, but not entirely so. I think we all have thresholds of what constitutes a "bad" experience. For many, it means they get a disk back scratched or not at all. For me, anytime I don't get something back within a few days it's a bad experience. The disk may be pristine and returned without my asking; but I'm just the type of person who's wired to keep things like that on my mind - which can lead to undue (probably unreasonable) stress - which is always a bad thing. That part of my personality won't change (in the absence of medication), so I've learned to just say no. Makes my life easier....

To those who can lend something out and not give it a second thought - Great! (and good luck)

bumping a really old thread. sorry

Has anyone's philosophy of lending out DVD's changed since this thread was made?

I only ask because recently I think mine has. As my DVD collection got bigger (it's around 525 DVD strong now), I became really picky about who I lent my DVD's out to. Usually the only people I would let borrow my movies would be either my girlfriend or my family. I let friends borrow movies in the past and they would either come back 2-3 months later or come back in terrible condition.

I noticed in a lot of collection pictures people post, DVD's are displayed in full view. Do you think it makes you bad friend to tell someone they can't borrow something? Do you think it's right to say just because your DVD collection is on open shelves, you are NOT a Blockbuster?

I recently had a friend just come over and borrow 3 DVDs even though I clearly told her she couldn't...hence this rant

I think after I get these 3 back, I'll stop being so nice and lax about lending.

I don't usually have people over to my house much, so I don't really have that problem with lending DVDs. The only person I've ever really lent any to are a buddy of mine. And that was more of a situation where I'd lend him a few, and he'd lend me a few. So there was collateral to ensure each of us got our movies back.

I learned at an early age not to lend people movies. They end up treating you like netflix, keeping the movie however long they please. I really don't like having to ask for my things back, and shouldn't have to. So I try to avoid that situation altogether.

Seeing as I'm the most reliable person I know, I'm generally the only person who touches my DVDs.

yeah, i pretty much don't lend anything out.

most of the time in the past it's been fine, but when it goes wrong it can really go wrong.

probably the only way i will even consider it is if i know for sure that the person i'm lending to is as anal about handling their DVDs as i am.

people who casually grab discs, leaving fingerprints and smudges or stack them up w/out the cases are simply like aliens from another planet to me.



i don't even leave the case lying around. i put it back in the stack until i'm done watching the disc.

It's been a long time since I've had someone ask to borrow a dvd.

What's changed now, in the last 3-5 years is that everyone has their own dvd collection, and/or a Netflix account. So if there's anything they want to watch, they can do so without having to borrow it.

No lending, and no touching.

I lent a copy of Killer Klowns from Outer Space to my sister-in-law and when it was returned, there was a massive thumbprint of some red sticky substance left by my Charles Barkley-sized teenaged nephew. Anyone is welcome to watch with me, but no more borrowing! Most people just don't respect other people's property.

I'm constantly asked for DVDs. I've had a few bad experiences, but nothing to really make me mad (no important DVDs).

If I do lend out a DVD, it won't be the one from my library.

I think I'm starting to finally learn that now. The person who borrowed some of my DVD's mentioned they didn't "feel" like renting at Blockbuster.

I do understand it gets expensive to rent at places like that. The problem is that my DVD collection is so large because I love cinema, not because I want to be everyone's mini-Blockbuster. I took the whole situation as disrespect on their end.

I'm happy to see that I'm not the only one here that feels this way about their movie collection. I think it's just hard for people who don't have a sizable collection to really understand why borrowing can be annoying.

I have the 3-5 people I would consider letting them borrow dvds pretty well trained.

They know. They know what I'd do to them.

My sister told me her boyfriend, who has seen my collection (almost 900 dvds), said to her why don't we just get so-and-so movie from your brother (I wasn't home at the time). She was like, ummm no.

So like I said, they're pretty well trained and I would only lend out to a certain few people.

I let certain people borrow. My dad for one. He did lose one of my matrix movies, but he replaced it. And he also knows how particular I am about my dvds. I have one friend who is really anal about his stuff, so I know he will be about my stuff too, so he's not a problem. Until I have a reason not to lend stuff, i'll do it. Like others though, they get an old case or something.

I only let a certain few borrow since they're as careful with their movies as I am with mine. As for others, thats what the library, Blockbuster, Neflix, etc..is for.

That's not borrowing, then, that's stealing.

I worded that really wrong

I had a get together with a bunch of my friends this past Sunday. The girl who borrowed the DVD's came over for 10 minutes tops. She immediately walked up to my DVD collection and started pulling DVD's out, asking if she could borrow them. I politely said that she couldn't, but she started putting them in her purse anyway saying "I asked politely, now I'm just taking them"

I didn't want to start an arguement/fuss in front of my guests so I just told her to have them back to me by this coming Sunday.

This will definitely be the last time I let anyone (minus my girlfriend and family) borrow any of my movies.

I've said it before (not sure if it was this thread or not), but my friends are my friends because I trust them. I'm sure not going to cause any kind of tension because of a disc that cost me $10-$20. So yeah, I'm their personal Netflix. Why the hell not? Silly me, I like doing things for my friends.

Never Again

After my brother returned me two DVDs - one with a transparent plastic cover a bit torn and other - with a circle on it, obviously from a coffee cup - I give him DVDs only in separate boxes, not in original ones. No need to mention these measures were preceded by a long sermon about how you should treat DVDs.
Generally I try not to lend DVDs, but if I do, first I see how a person handles one disc (usually not very valuable to me ) If I see everything's OK, I have no problems with this person. I got friends I easily lend DVDs to and other friends who'd never get them from me.

Very rarely.

However.. for movies that are now on HD DVD or Blu Ray and I still have the standard def in my collection,, I will loan this out to friends and family without having to worry about the condition so it essentially becomes a free rental disc. For movies that are not duplicates or on high def, I am usually not up to the stress of lending it out.

P.S. - I can relate to many in this thread about being anal over disc conditions. When I'm browsing used dvds at a store and ask the usual "can I preview the condition before I buy?" I even get a little nervous when the desk employee takes it out of the case and puts it back in.