Re: Videogames and Relationships
 

My ex mostly didn't mind that I played games. Funny, because toward the end, I used it as an excuse to not be around her or her family, and once we broke up I hardly even turned on the PS3 for months. She would occasionally play with me, but only simple/casual games like Flower and PixelJunk Shooter. It made me kind of sad that she never wanted to play Rock Band with me. She'd also be kind of an asshole about me playing violent games (and watching violent movies). Damn shame, she used to be fun. That relationship lasted longer than it should have.

My current gf actually lives in another state right now, so I get plenty of time for gaming. But when we get to spend time together, I don't even think about playing games.

Re: Videogames and Relationships
 

If you're currently in a relationship, how does your significant other feel about your interest in video games?
Initially she looked at it as one of those things I would grow out of, but we had some in depth discussions about her perceptions of games when we first started dating. I had to explain to her that there was nothing inherently childish about an interactive medium, despite where video games started demographically, and despite the current level of maturity in game stories. There is a lot of negativity/mocking/condescension out there in the mainstream about games, so it is tough to change attitudes that have been formed over the years.

But my wife is a reasonable person, and we were able to communicate about the importance of the hobby to me. I haven't turned her into a gamer, but she at least respects my interest in gaming now. She will probably never understand the gaming collection though.

Do they game with you or do they have zero interest in it?
Occasionally we will play trivia games, and she will play games like Wii Sports or Just Dance. She also played some Cut the Rope on her phone. I got her to play coop Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light with me. She had fun, but it wasn't something she would choose for us to spend time doing together.

Do you only play when they aren't home/you aren't hanging out together?
Mostly, but I also play when she is there. We really only have one tv plus the computer, so we need to share the tv time. We have shows we watch and enjoy together, and then she has her reality shows and I have my games. I think there used to be a mentality that when we were hanging out we had to be doing the activity together, but often that meant watching shows I had no interest in watching. She wouldn't want to watch me just play games (for the most part), just like I had no interest in watching many of her reality shows. It's about balance, it isn't fair if only one side is participating in the others hobby. Often I see couples where the girl will insist the guy watch the reality shows with her so they can hang out together but she won't even consider just watching him play games, or the guy will insist the girl watch football so they can hang out together but he won't even consider watching her reality shows. Often I will play a ds game or read on my phone while she watches her shows, or she will read a magazine while I play games.

Did gaming have any effect on your dating life in the past? Has it changed in the present?
I had an ex girlfriend that really looked down on gaming and I didn't foresee any chance of her truly accepting it. But this attitude extended to a lot of other facets of our relationship besides gaming. It wasn't the gaming that ended things, but it was one of the symptoms of a much larger communication issue.

Re: Videogames and Relationships
 

I remember years ago listening to the Dr. Laura Show and her thing was no grown man with a family should be playing video Games. I was hoping she at least meant that no grown man who isn't other wise doing what he was supposed to do in terms of taking care of his family shouldn't be gaming...but I'm not sure she meant it that way.:lol:

Re: Videogames and Relationships
 

http://www.inflexwetrust.com/wp-cont...1/dr-laura.jpg

Rest assured...she meant it the way she said it.

Re: Videogames and Relationships
 

If you're currently in a relationship, how does your significant other feel about your interest in video games?
My wife doesn't mind at all. She said that denying me the option to play video games is equal to me telling her she's not allowed to knit or crochet.

Do they game with you or do they have zero interest in it?
She likes to play every once in awhile. For example, she likes the Uncharted games. She even went out and bought the collectors edition of Uncharted 3... before playing Uncharted 2! :) She's into the music games (Guitar Hero, etc.), trivia games (Scene It!), and a few of the other "casual" games. She suggested that she'd like to try Dead Island, but I'm positive she wouldn't enjoy it. Overall, she "gets" why I play and she enjoys playing too. She once said, "I can't imagine ever not having at least one current console in the house." :up: She's not opposed to violent games, but she was "concerned" about the first Modern Warfare, since she thought it was really weird to want to play any sort of war/military game. Maybe it's because her father was in the navy. I don't know, but she eventually got over that notion. She also loves the casual games on her phone. Cut the Rope, etc. Oh, and there was a time when she was a little too obsessed with The Sims... The Sims 2... and The Sims 3. She hasn't touched those in quite some time, though. I imagine that if I told her about World of Warcraft, I'd never see her again.

Do you only play when they aren't home/you aren't hanging out together?
It depends. Typically, I'll play games in one room while she watches CW shows in the other room. We usually do this after we spend time together first. Sometimes she'll come watch me play, but not too often.

Did gaming have any effect on your dating life in the past? Has it changed in the present?
None of my previous girlfriends were even remotely into gaming, and I wouldn't choose gaming over spending time with them.

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Re: Videogames and Relationships
 

Married for 7 years. Wife doesn't care that I play videogames. She plays some casual games, Bejeweled and those kind of games and she's actually better than me at those. We barely play together console games, although I sometimes ask for help if I'm playing casual games :P

Oh some "issues" recently, I started playing FIFA online again, and she's having a hard time understanding that if I'm in a middle of a match I can't leave! :p

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Appreciate all the responses. I still wonder how many of you treated the situation before you started dating or during it. Did you hide it, casually mention it? Seems to be alot easier to deal with if you're married to the person.

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My wife was well aware of my Halo LAN parties while we were dating. If that didn't turn her away, I knew I was golden.

Re: Videogames and Relationships
 

Don't hide it if it's something you really enjoy doing and plan to continue doing, because that's part of what makes you who you are. The person doesn't approve of one of your favorite hobbies? Move on to someone who does, and thank yourself later.

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I don't think the whole gaming thing is as negative as it would have been 10+ years ago. It seems a lot more mainstream now.

Re: Videogames and Relationships
 

My wife doesn't care that I play, although she has no interest in any games whatsoever. I'll typically only play when she's sleeping, or when she isn't home. We work different schedules, so there's plenty of time where I'm alone. When dating, I never hid it from her, but I didn't play anything in front of her, either. She saw my system, I told her what I liked, and that was it. She's never said anything negative about my playing, and even pretends to be excited when I tell her what game I'm thinking about getting next.

Re: Videogames and Relationships
 

Within a month of meeting my boyfriend, Fallout: New Vegas came out, and he watched me play it for, literally, hours and hours. He would even suggest that I play it so he could watch.

Since then, we've played LA Noire and currently Skyrim together. He doesn't mind if I play when he's not there, but he likes to watch when he is.

Re: Videogames and Relationships
 

Which begs the question; in general, are videogames viewed differently by woman than they are by men?

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In my experience...yes. I don't know any women who are into gaming. My wife doesn't mind me playing, but she still thinks it is kind of childish.

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Complex question. Of course the kneejerk answer is "yes" but that presumes knowledge of all women and all men. If you subscribe to the belief that more men than women are interested in "geeky" hobbies, and if you subscribe to the belief that videogames are still viewed as such, then you could come to that conclusion.

At the end of the day, I know women that play videogames and men that don't, and I don't think there's a simple answer to the question, nor am I sure that it's even a question worth asking.

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That is nice. My wife gets sick watching first person games. I would too if I wasn't controling it. It is too bad too, because I think she would like it if she could watch it. Skyrim is a much nicer game to look at than Oblivion was (especially the caves).

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It might also have to do with the nature of the great majority of gaming, which basically involves killing, lots and lots of killing. Same way that little boys are more into their toy guns and trucks and little girls are more into dolls and tea sets. So you extrapolate that and most games (which appeal to males) are extensions of things that fascinated them as boys. But there really aren't any things that are similar extensions for women - which is probably why they tend to be more into puzzle games and such rather than Call of Duty or whatever.

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Pretty sure you just angered everyone at The Border House.

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I don't think the answer is that complex, it's definitely viewed upon differently if we're talking about a broad generalization based on current attitudes. I'd say a far larger portion of boys grow up playing video games whereas girls generally don't, which changes their outlook later on in life where games are just a hobby versus calling it childish. I'm 29, and can easily remember playing NES and SNES with my guy friends growing up. My female friends from elementary through college, not so interested.

But as I said before, I think that's slowly changing as games become more mainstream and other non-violent genres gain popularity, like slop mentions. The number of women that I see show up at video game conventions have increased over the last 7 years that i've been involved in the video game industry.

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I had to look up what that is. And you are probably right. However, within the development community, men outnumber women by a very wide margin. It is reasonable to think that the natural outcome of that situation is a product which appeals more to men than woman. Of course, we both know that there is as much diversity in the world of gaming as their is in the world of films. There isn't any good reason I can think of why any given woman wouldn't enjoy a video game as much as any given man in the same way that both sexes like movies.

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There's always going to be exceptions, but I'm not going to apologize for pointing out stereotypes. Generalizations they may be, they do exist and are usually the norm rather than the exception.

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I had to look up who they were. They seem like a touchy little bunch so I wouldn't lose much sleep about upsetting them, if I were slop101. That and their idea about sexual equality seems to be just to ditch the male characters altogether (based on their rant about the Mass Effect movie).

Anyhoo, I grew up with plenty of girls who were (and may still be) gamers. But I've also known a few that think it's silly. So I don't think it's something than can be attributed to any form of a sexual stereotype.

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Oh, they totally are. I actually dislike them quite a bit.

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This.