So I saw this on the Yahoo front page and I don't know what to make of it. These can't be real suggestions, can it? Seems more like something a couple notches below an Onion article.

Seven Ways to Win Back Your Gaming Spouse
Are games ruining your relationship? Fight back with these seven tips.
By Mike Smith

It might be hard to believe that a video game could destroy a relationship, but after we talked to Jocelyn, a Californian whose six-year marriage dissolved when her husband developed a crippling addiction to the massively-multiplayer online game World of Warcraft, we were inundated with similar stories of woe and heartbreak.

It's too late for Jocelyn -- who divorced her husband in 2005 and has sworn to keep away from gamers altogether -- but it might not be too late for you. If your significant other's gaming habits are harming your relationship, here are seven ways to beat the game and reclaim your love life.

1. Learn from the game
Games like World of Warcraft use classic behavioral control techniques: they tie small rewards very closely to repetitive chores. If your spouse is neglecting household tasks -- a common complaint among sufferers -- try employing a little positive reinforcement. The next time he empties the trash, play a loud 'Ding!' sound and tell him his Refuse-Disposal skill just increased.

2. Suggest a date at a video game movie
Just make sure it's a good one, because most of them are terrible. Resident Evil is a good choice, and assuming your spouse is male, the prospect of staring at Milla Jovovich for an hour and a half should certainly pique his interest. Don't let him sneak off to play his game once the movie is done, either: segue into a more intimate scenario before it ends, or you'll lose his attention.

3. Fake a power outage; cuddle up with candles and a board game
No matter how bad your addiction is, you can't play Warcraft with no electricity. Slip out to the junction box and flip the switch (after, of course, making sure any sensitive equipment is safely powered down). Your spouse will be devastated, but they'll be looking for something to keep their mind off the game. What better chance to propose lighting a few candles and playing a round of Scrabble?

4. Put some game into your nighttime activities
If your spouse's gaming addiction is cutting into your bedroom time, think about how you might switch up your usual routine. If they're into military games like Call of Duty or Splinter Cell, uniforms aren't hard to find (nor are night-vision cameras, if you're game). But if they call you a "n00b," it might be time to think about kicking them to the curb.

5. Try a different kind of role-playing game
If you're having trouble distracting your husband from the game, surprise him with a treat. World of Warcraft is packed with sexy female characters (and, let's face it, most other video games). With a little effort in the wardrobe department, you can recapture his attentions by dressing up as a character from the game. We'd suggest a Night Elf as a good starting outfit. For bonus points, learn the character's corresponding dance moves.

6. Get away from it all
Surprise your spouse with a weekend getaway to distract them from their addiction. Something that incorporates outdoor activities is best, because then he or she won't have the time or energy to miss their game. Try skiing, mountain biking, watersports, or fishing, or head for an action-packed hotspot like Vegas or New Orleans. Stay away from relaxing beach vacations, and for goodness sake, leave the laptop at home.

7. If you can't beat 'em...
If all else fails, it's time to consider extreme measures. Have you ever played the offending game yourself? Lots of couples play Warcraft (or similar online games) as a team, leveling up complementary characters and turning isolated and nonconstructive activities into good, old-fashioned quality time together. Most massively multiplayer games are deceptively easy to learn, and you'll have the benefit of an in-house expert to answer your questions in exhaustive detail. Just be careful not to start shirking familial duties yourself.

Ah, another notch on the "Why Video Games in the Mainstream are Detrimental" belt.

We're gonna need a bigger belt.

I don't think the article is anti-video games, it even suggests people spend time playing the games together. This is more about addiction and isolation, in regard to video games in specific. So not really anti-video games, more against abandoning your loved ones and letting your personal life fall apart to play World of Warcraft.

Fuck man, my wife plays more Guitar Hero than I do.

I'm still better

1, 3, 4, and 5 seem like jokes (3 would be more tolerable if it didn't involve deceit, but more of a mutual timeout from electronics). 2 gets points for the last sentence. 6 and 7 are actually decent suggestions.

I dunno. #5 has potential.

I like how half of them suggest more sex.

1 and 3 are just absurd, like something out of a bad sitcom. 2 is kind of a silly suggestion simply because there aren't *that* many video game movies, plus 75% of them are from Uwe Boll... and if my significant other tried to drag me to an Uwe Boll movie I'd probably ignore her even more.

Man, a lot of those are just offensive. Deception and more sex are not ways to keep a relationship alive. If things reach that point, I'd say the relationship isn't worth saving.

Besides, the most obvious one isn't even listed: TALK ABOUT IT!

Get a Wii.

WoW is pretty addictive...

And Wii in her butt?

thats some good belt work we got there

Well, what about better sex?

You mean like, "I better have some or I'm leaving you?

The correct answer is don't play World of Warcraft.