The Simpsons are infinitely quotable. So many lines to pick from, especially from Homer.




Archer and Futurama are close seconds.

"For God's sake, let the bear masturbate" - Late Night with Conan O'Brien

Homer Simpson: Alcohol: The cause of, and the solution to, all of life's problems.

Always loved the medicated wisdom of Reverend Jim on Taxi:

"Hey, Alex - You know the really great thing about television? If something important happens, anywhere in the world, night or day... you can always change the channel."
"The ability to witness two men stand toe to toe in the spirit of sportsmanship and pummel each other into insensibility is what separates us from the animals."

Oh, and this one from the short-lived San Pedro Beach Bums that somehow had a life long even after everyone had forgotten the show ever existed: "Football? You bet!"

one of my favorites from Cheers from ages ago; Norm - Women, cant live with em, pass the beer nuts.

Watching old episodes of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia recently and this whole segment was hilarious. Glenn Howerton's delivery of "because of the implication" is perfect.

Some more from Star Trek:

Taxi - "Slow Down"
"What Dooooooooo....eeeeeeee.....sssssssss a yeeeeeeeee......lllll.........oooooooooooooooo liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight meeeeeeeeeeeeeee,,,,,an??????"

It took two people to write that song?

And I'd counter this with a far better one from Captain Malcolm Reynolds

Simon: How do I know you won't shoot me someday?
Mal: You'll know if I'm going to shoot you. Because you'll be facing me and you'll be armed.

Basically, that whole episode of Family Ties where Alex, Mallory, and Jennifer open up a hotel in their house while Steven and Elyse are out of town, but one line has me rolling every time...

"There was a kangaroo...in my living room." - Steven Keaton

Granted the Garek quote only really works in the context of the world and the character. It's not something that works out of context but is perfect for the character of Garek. A former spy/KGB operative type now working as a humble tailor.

“I've got the runs, but I'm packing heat."

- Alison from Orphan Black

I came in specifically to post that quote. So damn good

I love how Michael Gross paused and almost broke character between the words 'kangaroo' and 'in'

B
Biscuits? Would you care for rat? Just the biscuits then, please, Polly.

Did Sports Night always have a laugh track? Because that was so distracting. Can't believe it didn't bother me to the point of stopping watching the show back when it was on the air.

Michael Gross was genius in this scene. His line delivery is what made it for me.

Alex: "He was just here for the party, dad."
Steven: "Well...then, I'm overreacting"

or

Alex: "Do you plan on being mad at us forever?"
Steven: "That is...my plan."

No. They abandoned it a few episodes in, IIRC.

The lesson is that anyone who looks on the world as if it was a game of chess deserves to lose. Finch, Person of Interest

So if we kill the enemy, the one waiting for us on the other side, will we... finally be free? Eren Jaeger, Attack on Titan

Cheers:

Diane: Do you know the difference between you and a fat, braying ass?
Sam: No
Diane: The fat braying ass would.

I think it's memorable because you were expecting a sitcom joke, and instead it was just a really mean-spirited insult. I never liked Diane Chambers in general, but that line took it a little too far and I never wanted Sam and her to get together again.

Not really a line but probably my favorite exchange of all time

Just watched a great one: Star Trek Deep Space Nine, episode "Doctor Bashir, I Presume?"

"Oh there is no stigma attached to success, Miles."

Not a snappy one liner like Garak and Quark were so good at, but incredibly profound.