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"You so ugly I could press your face into some dough and make some gorilla cookies."

Indeed,
& Whenever he calls JD a girls name.

Anything between Shirley & Rerun.

"I hate, so much, about the way you choose to be."

"You have all the charm of a temporary filling." Pookie the Lion on the Soupy Sales Show.

"Pardon the mess, she was just leaving."

When Esther has one of those cervical collars on because of an accident and someone asked,
"Were you in a wreck?"
Fred: "No, she was born that ugly."

Matthew: I took third place in the costume contest last year.
Dave: Really? What was your costume?
Matthew: Motorcycle enthusist.
Joe: Gay biker.

"The reason bad things happen to you, is because you're a dumbass."

--Red Forman

Mostly everything Chandler said in "Friends"

That whole exchange is one of my favorites.
As soon as I hear, "Why are you the way that you are?", I can't help but laugh. :lol:

Cliff: What a pathetic display. I'm ashamed God made me a man.
Carla: I don't think God's doing a lot of bragging either.

Frank Barone to Ray: "I could eat a bowl of Alpha Bits and crap out a better story!"

Fat Librarian: "Could it be you're still the same loser you were when you were 10 years old?"
Al Bundy: Could it be the nails that hold your chair together are from the planet Krypton?"

Frank Barone: "Listen to the little voice in your head, son. I didn't listen to mine, and now I got a BIG voice."

Old lady, after Ray Barone convinces her to take her meds: "Oh, you tricky tricky white boy!"

The jerk store called, and they're running outta you.

dingbat

stifle

"You're a cock, you're a cock, you're a cock."
-Tim to Gareth, The Office (UK)

"Die screaming, you pig-spawn trollop."
-Atia to Cleopatra, Rome

"I don't want no part of yo' tight-ass country club, ya freak bitch!"
-Buster (and Franklin) to Lucille, Arrested Development

"Her?"
-Everyone, Arrested Development

Jane you ignorant slut! Bagged out, dried up slunk meat like you and Michelle Triola know the rules: if you want a contract, sign on the dotted line. Oh, but let's all shed a tear for poor Michelle Triola. There was only testimony that she had sexual intercourse over forty times with another man while living with actor Lee Marvin. But I suppose that sort of fashionable promiscuity means nothing to someone like you Jane, who hops from bed to bed with the frequency of a cheap ham radio. But, hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn, and Michelle Triola, like a screeching, squealing, rapacious swamp sow, is after actor Lee Marvin's last three million dollars. I guess what you and Michelle are saying, is that when you're on your backs, the meter's running. Well, please spare us, gals, and tell us the rates from the top. Then we can choose which two bit tarts and bargain basement sluts to shack up with.

I still have heard none better.

I always took it as a nice way to say "shove it up your ass".

"Hole-ass"

On the long-forgotten "Shasta McNasty", a guy with dyslexia called someone that.