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Dwight Schrute, assistant regional manager, Dunder Mifflin Paper
Products with another installment of Schrutespace.

This blog is going to rock you like a hurricane.

For the past eight years, my cousin Mose and I have been
collaborating on a breakthrough book on sales and selling. I draw on
my experience as a salesman and Mose draws on the fact that he has a
lot of spare time on his hands these days as the beets have all been
harvested.

Our magnum opus is entitled:

SELL THIS!: How to Literally Kill the Competition by Dwight and Mose
Schrute.

Here is a small sample.

CHAPTER 1

THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS WRONG

Question: Why do retailers say ‘the customer is always right’?

Answer: I have no idea.

The customer doesn’t know sh**. Seriously. If it were up to them,
they wouldn’t buy anything from you. They would just go along with
the products and services that they have and not buy more paper from
you (or whatever else you might be selling to them, such as office
supplies.)

How do we change the customer?

Simple. Convince them that they need to buy what you are selling.

How?

Easy. Like a tiger which hypnotizes it’s prey, you must overwhelm
them with the force of your

1) aura
2) eyes
3) intensity
4) reason
5) good prices

Seduce them with your power and get to know them like a small lover.
Intimacy sells! Ravish them. Use force if necessary. Kiss them
with your products. And, finally, make sure you call them the next day.

That is just a taste of Schrute. Just a glimpse of the sales
opportunities that await you and your cousin.

That is all.

Dwight K. Schrute

PS I have formed an internet page in order to gain more sales and
give more sales tips. It is called www.myspace.com/dwightkschrute

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