What are men?

Why are men, men? Why are men from
mars? What makes us tick? What makes men so
masculine? Why are we all so rough and rugged and
irresistable to women?

There are so many questions about men in the preceding
paragraph.

And here at Schrute-Space, I aim to answer them.

First of all, men have XY hormones. I don't know what
that means, but it's important in the field of
science.

Men have male genitalia which crop up when we're
little foetus's. Then, they bloom into what we have
now in adulthood.

But all this is beside the fact that men are men are
men.

We like meat. We like beer and wine and trucks. Us
men like fights (not me, however. Karate teaches me
to seek peace through force and to yield like the
willow tree but with deep roots that cannot be
severed). WE like paintball and laser tag and
Creedence and Medieval reinactments and German
Culture.

But most importantly, men like women.

We certainly like their bodies and their outfits, but
we also like their soft lips and skin and taste in
furniture.

Women make us who we are, not only with their wombs,
but with their femininity.

Take pornography. The women are usually at a really
nice condo or swimming pool. They're just hanging out
but then they start getting it on with themselves.
(women can do that without fear of reprisal. Men
can't. Another difference. Only cowboys can get it
on and get acclaim and accolades for it.)

THEN a man comes over. Usually a neighbor, delivery
boy or pool service technician. Then, the magic
happens. It's on. Sometimes a triad. Sometimes a
shower or bath with bubbles.

Fact: Men are better at taking charge in the bedroom.

Fact: Men are better at maps and directions and
driving.

Fact: Men are better at jousting and dueling.

Fact: Men are better at facts.

Question: What are women better at?

(Note: Please don't be offended, feminists. I respect
you AND am attracted to you.)

I can't quit you.

Dwight Schrute. Man.