The Office - "The Secret" - 1/19/06
 

"The Secret"



Cast: Steve Carell, Jenna Fischer (II), John Krasinski, Rainn Wilson, B.J. Novak.
Producer(s): Ben Silverman, Greg Daniels, Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant, Howard Klein .

Original Airdate: January 19, 2006.

Schrute-Space: Changing peoples' lives to be more like mine.


Do you know what costs businesses more than any other
costly thing?

Hurricanes? Stolen office supplies? Unions? Dog
bites?

No.

Tardiness and wrongful or pretend illness are the most
costly and terrible things to affect business. Over
287 billion dollars were wasted last year by people
being late and/or pretending to be sick, when they
weren't really.

That is horrible.

Dwight Schrute is thinking about starting a business
where I would be like a Private Eye (Jim Rockford) and
investigate false illness and tardiness. Through
surveillance, interogation and humiliation I can save
companies millions. I would call this company "Schrute
Investigations".

For instance, you are the manager of "Randolph Medical
Supply Corporation" and your account named "Oscarp"
does not show up on a very important day, like a day
when you are cleaning your offices from top to bottom.
You get suspicious. You call "Schrute
Investigations" and pronto i would be on that
ne'er-do-well like a fly on SH**!

I would get to the bottom of this "OSCARP" and find
out if he was really sick or off "roller skating" or
something.

Note to all those reading this blog. Be on time.
Only miss a day of work if your life depends on it.
Think about the billions you are costing the American
economy with your selfishness by being tardy or absent
without leave. Think about me busting your A$$ and
think twice.

That is All-

Dwight Schrute


PS. Thoughts about winter.

Winter is the coldest season. For a reason. The sun
moves south, to warm up the Africans and the
Australians and leaves us in the northern climes to
fend for ourselves in the sleet and the frost.

Animals bundle up in their fur and in their caves.
They hybernate and/or store up nuts to feed to their
chicks and young.

When there is a chill in the air, there are colder
weather patterns coming down from Canada.

In Canada it is always winter. Sometimes the sun
never rises in Canada. Harp seals abound until they
are brutally slaughtered by Canadians. They worship
maple syrup, hockey and Alanis Morisette. I hate
Canadians.

Winter.

They should have "Dwight Shrute moments" on SNL - ala the "Jack Handey Deep Thoughts" from the good old days.

Harp seals abound until they are brutally slaughtered by Canadians.

rotfl

The streak of damn good episodes continues. This one is going to end up in my Top 5, perhaps even Top 3.

really? i thought it was kind of blah.. the updog was good and the stakeout with dwight was real good, but the rest was just... blah

Hooters scene was great.

I may have jumped the gun on the praise. Half way through the episode it was fantastic and then the second half kinda slowed down. Still a good episode though, if not for the lol moments, then for the Jam scenes.

Michael's milk exchange at Hooters was incredibly funny.

It was excellent. Back to basics in terms of logistics, but developing the storyline by leaps and bounds. Certain characters continue to be more out-there than they used to be, especially Michael, but the show is awesome. Jim was a heartbreaker. And Oscar's out of left field personal life... wow. And we know he has a kid, so there's definitely more to the story. Great stuff.

When they were in Hooters and Michael said he was gonna order milk was about as funny as it gets. Then with the whole chicken breast thing, and he finally just orders a hot dog.

I thought it was okay, not as great as "The Injury", but amusing in highlighting Dwigt's non-grasp of the obvious. Dregging up Michael's past indiscretion with the corporate credit card was funny. Lots of funny bits, but it didn't quite gell for me.

Michael trying to do his hair like Jim.. :lol: and the fake birthday at Hooters..

The opening was hysterical. I thought Hooters was weak & the episode never really recovered. Lesser episodes for both Earl & The Office tonight, but still worth watching. I did like the Our Lips Are Sealed/girl band joke.

Wow, this episode was a lot more excruciating than the corresponding episode of the UK Office (where Tim asks Dawn to the pub and gets rejected because Dawn and Lee got back together). I was cringing for most of this episode, although I guess I still enjoyed it.

same here

Kevin had a few funny moments as well

At least the cat is finally out of the bag - no, I'm not talking about Oscar.

Dwigt is so damn oblivious it's funny.

Toby is so damn straightforward w/ Michael - it's awesome.

Michael's behavior at Hooters made me cringe. :lol:

Way to bust him, Dwight. ;)

I thought this was a great episode; it was nice to explore the office dynamics again. I loved that Michael actually realized that he really fucked up, and he didn't try to get out of it; he actually apologized to Tim. And I really liked the moment, in a tragic way, between Tim & Pam in the elevator at the end.

I loved Jim shaking his trying to get him to stop, and the so close motion he did to the camera for Michael's supdog joke. Next time I am in Hooters I will have to order milk.

This exchange between Dwigt and Michael (about the veracity of Oscar being sick) cracked me up.

D: "Question... may I investigate?"
M: "Yeah, drop what you're doing. Make this a priority. Because an office can't function efficiently unless people are at their desks, doing their jobs." :)

Hooters waitresses are going to be miserable for the next couple of weeks with the "I'll have the chicken breast, hold the chicken" jokes.

I watched the first season of this show, and hated it.

Last week I gave it another chance, and loved the episode. I couldn't get into this weeks episode.

Michael trying to stick his foot in with Dwight during the CATscan :lol:

Dwight :lol:

To me, a bit of a letdown after the last couple, but still a good episode.

I thought the episode was great. Dwight is hilarious.