Conan's Michael Bolton joke
10-19-02, 12:13 AM
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Conan's Michael Bolton joke
The past couple of nights Conan has been talking about a joke he made about Michael Bolton a couple years ago, and how Bolton has recently threatened to kill him over it. 
Does anybody know remember this joke was?
Does anybody know remember this joke was?
10-19-02, 07:06 AM
#4
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I dunno, but if that article that Conan keeps referring to where Bolton states that he's gonna hurt Conan if they play softball is true, I think Bolton is hella lame.
Actually, I already think Bolton is hella lame. The truth would just make him hella lamer.
Actually, I already think Bolton is hella lame. The truth would just make him hella lamer.
10-19-02, 12:55 PM
#6
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Wow, that joke wasn't that bad at all. Sounds like Bolton has a little insecurity problem or something.
Originally posted by Johnny wilson
He said Bolton liked to give oral to little boys or something to that effect. Pretty disgusting if you ask me.
He said Bolton liked to give oral to little boys or something to that effect. Pretty disgusting if you ask me.
10-19-02, 03:39 PM
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Originally posted by outcastja
Still funny even though they did it like four nights in a row.
Still funny even though they did it like four nights in a row.
It's still funny? The second night i was surprised they were doing it again. The third night i just changed the channel.
10-19-02, 03:56 PM
#13
DVD Talk Gold Edition
I always get a laugh out of them. Its like Dr. Phil Word's of Wisdom, they repeat some of it but I still find it funny.
Anyway, here are a few more Michael Bolton jokes that Conan did, which I got from the Conan newsgroup.
"In Belgium, Coca-Cola is recalling thousands of cans of their soft
drink because it was making people light headed and nauseous. Not taking any chances, they've also recalled Michael Bolton."
"Michael Bolton, who cut off his long hair last week, said he's
happy with his new haircut because now he only has to shower for two minutes. Which is a relief for his neighbors because he sings in the shower.''
"It was reported today that Michael Bolton will perform at an
upcoming fund-raiser for President Clinton. When the President heard about it, he said, `Great. First Whitewater, now this.'''
"Last night Michael Bolton and Kenny G performed at the inaugural ball. It was the first time Secret Service agents have ever called in a bomb scare that we know of.''
"The other day, Hillary Clinton spoke to Michael Bolton on the
phone. Michael Bolton told Hillary he would do anything to help her senate campaign, so Hillary immediately asked Michael Bolton to endorse Mayor Giuliani."
"Michael Bolton said yesterday he now wants to become an opera
singer. Which is great, because now my Dad and I can hate the
same kind of music."
"At a recent event, Michael Bolton defended President Clinton saying, 'To be human is to be flawed.' He went on to say, 'And I know what I'm talking about because I am Michael Bolton.'"
"The other day in New York, Michael Bolton helped out two guys who had locked their keys in their car. He didn't do anything about the car, he just told them, `Hey, at least you're not Michael Bolton.'"
"Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder says President Clinton and Saddam Hussein could work everything out peacefully if they'd just sit down and listen to rock music. After hearing this, Saddam said, `I would, but Clinton's into all that Celine Dion-Michael Bolton crap.' ''
"The latest rumor is that Ellen DeGeneres and Anne Heche want to have a child, and they want the father to be Michael Bolton. In a related story, Melissa Etheridge announced she's now opposed to lesbians having children."
"Michael Bolton says he recorded a new CD of opera songs because he was inspired by Luciano Pavarotti. Which also happens to be the same reason he swallowed a live pig.''
Anyway, here are a few more Michael Bolton jokes that Conan did, which I got from the Conan newsgroup.
"In Belgium, Coca-Cola is recalling thousands of cans of their soft
drink because it was making people light headed and nauseous. Not taking any chances, they've also recalled Michael Bolton."
"Michael Bolton, who cut off his long hair last week, said he's
happy with his new haircut because now he only has to shower for two minutes. Which is a relief for his neighbors because he sings in the shower.''
"It was reported today that Michael Bolton will perform at an
upcoming fund-raiser for President Clinton. When the President heard about it, he said, `Great. First Whitewater, now this.'''
"Last night Michael Bolton and Kenny G performed at the inaugural ball. It was the first time Secret Service agents have ever called in a bomb scare that we know of.''
"The other day, Hillary Clinton spoke to Michael Bolton on the
phone. Michael Bolton told Hillary he would do anything to help her senate campaign, so Hillary immediately asked Michael Bolton to endorse Mayor Giuliani."
"Michael Bolton said yesterday he now wants to become an opera
singer. Which is great, because now my Dad and I can hate the
same kind of music."
"At a recent event, Michael Bolton defended President Clinton saying, 'To be human is to be flawed.' He went on to say, 'And I know what I'm talking about because I am Michael Bolton.'"
"The other day in New York, Michael Bolton helped out two guys who had locked their keys in their car. He didn't do anything about the car, he just told them, `Hey, at least you're not Michael Bolton.'"
"Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder says President Clinton and Saddam Hussein could work everything out peacefully if they'd just sit down and listen to rock music. After hearing this, Saddam said, `I would, but Clinton's into all that Celine Dion-Michael Bolton crap.' ''
"The latest rumor is that Ellen DeGeneres and Anne Heche want to have a child, and they want the father to be Michael Bolton. In a related story, Melissa Etheridge announced she's now opposed to lesbians having children."
"Michael Bolton says he recorded a new CD of opera songs because he was inspired by Luciano Pavarotti. Which also happens to be the same reason he swallowed a live pig.''
10-19-02, 06:01 PM
#15
DVD Talk God
I love how a has-been like Michael Bolton still gets press. The best part of this whole thing is it just adds fuel to the fire for Conan. Keep on making fun of him. In fact, do a joke every day about him.
10-19-02, 08:31 PM
#18
DVD Talk Legend
Originally posted by outcastja
::ring ring::
"Hello?"
"HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU?!"
Still funny even though they did it like four nights in a row.
::ring ring::
"Hello?"
"HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU?!"
Still funny even though they did it like four nights in a row.
That still gets me.
10-19-02, 10:04 PM
#19
Banned
How does Michael Bolton keep getting press? Mainly because of his lawsuits.
He keeps getting sued by classic R&B artists he consistantly rips off over the years. He lost a huge suit against members of the Isley Bros. who he stole a song from, essentially note for note. I forget the name of it. "Love is a Wonderfull Thing"? Quite possibly that one.
He keeps getting sued by classic R&B artists he consistantly rips off over the years. He lost a huge suit against members of the Isley Bros. who he stole a song from, essentially note for note. I forget the name of it. "Love is a Wonderfull Thing"? Quite possibly that one.
10-21-02, 10:30 AM
#23
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He did the 10 Stupid Questions section with EW a little while ago. He talked about how so many people come up to him now and talk to him about Office Space, and how he hates it. He said he wished that the movie was never made. I would take the movie over him anyway. Office Space is a classic!
10-21-02, 11:03 AM
#24
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Originally posted by movieking
He did the 10 Stupid Questions section with EW a little while ago. He talked about how so many people come up to him now and talk to him about Office Space, and how he hates it. He said he wished that the movie was never made. I would take the movie over him anyway. Office Space is a classic!
He did the 10 Stupid Questions section with EW a little while ago. He talked about how so many people come up to him now and talk to him about Office Space, and how he hates it. He said he wished that the movie was never made. I would take the movie over him anyway. Office Space is a classic!
First Office Space, now Conan. I kinda feel sorry for the guy.wait, no I don't.