ESPN analyst Steve Phillips had a fling with a 22-year-old production assistant, who, after being dumped, taunted his wife with "Fatal Attraction"-like phone calls and a letter that bragged about her sexcapades with Phillips while taking pot shots at their "loveless marriage," The Post has learned.

Subject: Preparations for Spontaneous Phillies Fan Celebration
To: “Center City District PCAN, Law Enforcement”
Date: Tuesday, October 20, 2009, 5:26 PM

In light of the incidents that occurred after last year’s Phillies Championship win, the City is taking steps to insure that any spontaneous victory celebrations stay positive on Wednesday night (or whenever the Phillies clinch the National League pennant). The Philadelphia Police Department will be deploying additional officers in Center City around South Broad Street to establish a safe environment for fans, property owners and businesses alike.

Property owners and businesses are being asked to survey their properties including loading docks, garage entries and alleyways for any non-fixed or permanent items such as planters, valet or sale signs, unsecured or unlocked dumpsters, bike racks, etc. The Philadelphia Police are asking that those items be removed temporarily or secured from harm.

The City is removing the new solar trash cans and replacing them with wire mesh cans that will be chained to poles. Newspaper publishers are being asked to remove unsecured honor boxes (newspaper boxes) as an additional precaution. In addition, restaurants and bars have been asked to refrain from serving take-out beverages in glasses or glass bottles and to use plastic instead.

Lastly, parking restrictions will be in place on Wednesday evening, starting at 6:00 PM to 6:00 AM along South Broad Street from City Hall to Locust Street, from 13th to 15th Streets and on the cross streets in between. In addition, parking will be restricted on North Broad Street from City Hall to Poplar Streets.

Thank you for your cooperation. Go Phillies!

That Little Romp Over the Cardinals Was Just Icing on the Cake

Yikes! You’d think that somebody with so much experience in the affair game would know better than to fuck an ugly chick and make her feel special. I mean what did Steve Phillips think was going to happen here? Obviously this chick was going to go psycho when he broke up with her and start writing letters to his wife and facebooking his kids etc. Poor bitch probably hadn’t been laid in like 10 years before Phillips and his birth marked cock came rolling around. You just don’t stir the echos of an ugly chicks pussy like this and then expect her to go away quietly into the night. Pretty fucking sloppy work by Steve Phillips if you ask me.

PS – This is why you only have affairs with hot chicks. Because not only does it reduce the chance that they fall in love with you, but more importantly even if they go psycho you can still kind of rationalize it with the fact that hot pussy is hot pussy. I mean this isn’t even a scandal if Brooke is hot. You think ESPN suspends him? You think the NY Post does an article on it? No way. Just another celebrity fucking a hot bitch and nobody can hold that against you. But ugly chicks? Totally different ball game. I’m sure that’s why Phillip’s wife is finally leaving him too. She could take the first 39 affairs, but a woman can only be pushed so far. It’s like the First Lady always tells me, if I’m going to cheat at least make it be with a smokeshow so she can kind of understand it and can still look her friends in the eye. It’s just cheating common courtesy really. You’d think Steve Phillips would have known better.

Double PS – Did Steve Phillips really pull out the old ”I had a vasectamy trick” on this mutant? I would have been putting condom over condom over condom.