Adam Tyner

Ditto for "virtue signaling", although BLS deleted that post.

Abob Teff

Not directed at Bluelite, but maybe for his benefit ...

I don’t get this whole “incel” thing. First off, it sounds like a terrorist group (and it may be after hearing some of their propaganda and seeing some of their actions). “Today, or maybe later, we’ll see. I, Donald J. Trump, have declared the biggest war on Incel, a terrorist group created by Kenyan Prime Minister Barack Obama. That’s what I was told, or maybe I read it. It will be the best war, you’re going to love it, trust me. However, there are good people on both sides. Just not Obama.”

But my main point is this: OXYMORON. My understanding is that “incel” stands for “involuntary celibate”. At the point you coin a term, create a “movement”, and are “proudly” taking part ... it is now voluntary and you are specifically doing it on purpose to be a part of the group. You’re not an involuntary anything, you’re just being a dick.

smg669

You might want to see about moving up that therapy appointment. It can't come soon enough. Also maybe ask if they have a super-therapist or something, because you're gonna be a tough case.

Mabuse

I never asked for advice nor did I think myself a hero, and some in the thread sympathized with the lack of caution by drivers.

Mabuse

You know what I think BLS needs? An older woman. Someone at least 20 years older than him.

Nick Danger

I watched about eight minutes of the video, and so far the guy is dead on. The men's movement is a hate group, self-identifying as an incel makes it a condition you can't change because you've made it part of your core identity, the real problem isn't a lack of sex but of loneliness, and going into a room full of people expecting to be treated badly primes the room to treat you badly because of how you're acting.

I'll watch the rest when I get a chance.

He also uses the phrase "nominative determinism". When you use the word "cuck", it notifies everyone else that you're part of that hate group. People will treat you badly, and that will make you feel worse. You will be more isolated, and more ready to identify with that hate group. It's self-reinforcing. You need to completely remove that word from your vocabulary.

Lipid

He needs to make a list of things to read about or questions to ask a professional too, instead of couch surfing more youtube videos. This guy is calling himself a Dr, but I don't see him list any credentials. He likely got himself stuck in this rut following and buying into an idea that's not supported in science or sound logic. So we want him to avoid these outlets since he likely struggles to make create balanced adn well thought out decisions. Perhaps a video he can watch that would benefit him would be something about how to weigh the pros/cons of things, how to have a balanced view, how to view the perspectives of others, etc.

This is a Ted Talk by a real Doctor. This is probably more helpful.

Bluelitespecial

That guy is not a Doctor, He's from a website called DrNerdLove.com. If you want to call Incels a hate group Nick Danger, I won't disagree with that. I just watched some of his videos and found a few things helpful.

Kurt D

Just know you can find those same few helpful bits of advice other places that don't reinforce your negative thoughts and/or beliefs.

Not saying that the Incel concept or Red Pill or any of that stuff is the root of your troubles, but the ratio of good information to negative reinforcement is unbalanced, I'd gather.

Ash Ketchum

I remember back in the late '80s/early '90s, there was something called the Men's Movement that I followed for a while, probably best exemplified by "Iron John," by Robert Bly and "Fire in the Belly," by Sam Keen. I even went to a gathering, but I forget who the speaker was. There was some talk of men's rights, in terms of custody and alimony and parental leave and such, but I don't recall any of it being anti-woman or anti-feminist. Instead it was about men getting in touch with their own feelings and not suppressing grief and fear and despair. It was about dismantling the societal pressure to "act like a man" and not show feelings or vulnerability and how the conformist strictures of Baby Boomers' parents' generation created just as many problems for men as for women. It certainly wasn't about demanding sex from women who'd rejected us.

There was a lot of drumming, though.

William Fuld

Ash Ketchum

I watched the video. It's actually pretty interesting and I urge others here to watch it and if you find it to be unhelpful, I'd be curious to know why. He's basically urging people who identify as "incels" to pull their heads out of their asses and start engaging with the world and other people--any people. And that people shouldn't be defining themselves by what they don't have or aren't getting. What's wrong with that?

Interesting coincidence: BLS's mention of Jordan Peterson in his comment is the first I've heard of this person. When I finished watching the video, I went in the kitchen to eat breakfast and found in the newspaper on my table (the Styles section of this past Sunday's New York Times) an interview with Peterson. So now I know a little (just a little) about him. It's not much of a piece and seeks to cast him in a negative light. So I don't know what to think.

However I don't understand BLS's comment calling Dr. Nerdlove "a total cuck." What does that even mean? Also, Dr. Nerdlove says nothing about Jordan Peterson or FIGHT CLUB in the video, so I don't know where he got that from.

Bluelitespecial

My complaint about this guy comes from this video. Fight Club and The Matrix have taken on new meaning for anyone in the Manosphere and Red Pill communities.



IF your looking for more information on Jordan Peterson, the free speech on college campuses thread in the political forum has talked about him a lot. I liked this interview especially.

tasha99

I didn't watch much of that Jordan Peterson interview, but I think it's the one where the reporter kept paraphrasing what he said to fit her agenda (Jordan Peterson says X, she says, so you're saying Y (you monster)).

I like Jordan Peterson, though I bet he has said some wacky things. I don't have to agree with everything someone says to like them, though. The media is trying so hard to smear him--sometimes by twisting what he's said. The sad thing is that if he does say truly crazy stuff, I wouldn't know, because I'm too busy to check things out further, having already seen how dishonest some reporters have been about him. He comes up at our house occasionally because my husband and my dad love him, and my three millennial kids can't stand him.

The thing I like that he says is that taking responsibility is important. I think it is. Responsibility and family are what give my life meaning.

nando820

^Yeah that's the one, the reporter kept nagging him trying to make him agree to his alleged outrageous claims.
Don't know much about him but I liked how he told her, something along the lines of "you are exercising your free speech which is good and are not afraid to bring the most scandalous subjects and bring them to the fore front by any means possible even if it means insulting me, and to that I say more power to you. Because this has been very tiring for me"

I probably won't agree with all his views. But something interesting he said was that women tend to be more "agreeable" than "men" (I guess in a social environments) which works against women at work because aggressiveness is rewarded in the corporate ladder. The reporter said "well if more women would be in power maybe those trends would not be so persistent" To which he said something like "Those traits are not dictated by men, that's how the corporate ladder works, regardless of gender, the person who disagrees the most is the one that gets to the top"

Now, I'm not claiming that is THE reason for work gender gap. I just agree that the top is usually filled with Bitches and Assholes

The Bus

Or go the Dave Eggers route and say "Now" because it means whatever is next is important and people will perk up.

The Bus

The NYT recently did a profile on him. (It's how I heard about him)

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/18/s...-for-life.html

Ash Ketchum

I see what you're saying. I don't care about FIGHT CLUB or THE MATRIX, so I don't care what he says about them, but he does seem to be wrong about Jordan Peterson.

As for the Peterson interview, I found the interviewer so simple-minded and annoying I stopped watching at the 12-minute mark. She clearly wasn't listening to his responses but was intent on catching him in a "Gotcha" moment. He was very quick to correct her, but it seemed he spent as much time correcting her simplistic reductions as making points. If I was the news director of that station, I'd reassign that interviewer to the bottom rung assignments.

I'd like to see him interviewed by someone who actually knows how to listen and discuss and doesn't have an agenda.

Lipid

Again, I think bluelitespecial should spend more time educating himself on how to make better decisions, how to have balanced thoughts, etc, rather than him focusing on which person's theory/ideas to follow or which political beliefs to latch on to. It's likely safe to say that poor decision making and critical thinking has likely got him stuck where he's at now.

Bluelitespecial

I had another appointment with a case manager today, and got a call from the therapist my first appointment is June 4th at 9am. I get to talk to a female therapist, which was kind of what I was hoping for and I'll see where it goes from there.

Ash Ketchum

Great news!

Bluelitespecial

So I did an obstacle course mud run a couple of weeks ago, I'm volunteering to work for their women's only run this weekend. I maybe be crazy to do this, but what the hell it'll probably be a ton of fun.

Kurt D

Word up!

Ash Ketchum

That's great news. Remember, though, that you're not there to troll for dates, but to get over your fear of working with women. Don't be afraid to do the drudge work. The harder and messier the task, volunteer to do it. They'll like you for it. And you may get a date out of it at the end of it anyway. Just don't make that your goal.

William Fuld

Work for no pay for a bunch of dirty women? What a cuck.