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Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

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Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Old 05-04-18, 02:40 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Right on, BLS! Good follow-through so far ...
Old 05-04-18, 03:29 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by Kurtie Dee View Post
Right on, BLS! Good follow-through so far ...
An terrible DVD Talk thread, though. The OP is supposed to see an entire page of posts disagreeing with him, and ignore their advice.

I'll give my girlfriend a laptop.
I don't need to clean my apartment.
I was a hero when I yelled at those strangers in front of my kids' school.
I'm 24 and I'm entitled to the top of a bunkbed in my parents' house.
I want to buy a car for 22% interest.
We need more man-on-man action in straight porn.
Old 05-04-18, 03:53 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by Nick Danger View Post
An terrible DVD Talk thread, though. The OP is supposed to see an entire page of posts disagreeing with him, and ignore their advice.

I'll give my girlfriend a laptop.
I don't need to clean my apartment.
I was a hero when I yelled at those strangers in front of my kids' school.
I'm 24 and I'm entitled to the top of a bunkbed in my parents' house.
I want to buy a car for 22% interest.
We need more man-on-man action in straight porn.
I know right...a dvd talker actually listening to the advice of others in this thread, what are we in the upside down?

Listening to our advice,well that means no TOTY for you BlueLiteSpecial!

I say this with admiration for the steps you are taking in your life Blue.
Old 05-04-18, 05:18 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

It does make me sad, and I'm torn, but ultimately believe in the power of good versus LOL.
Old 05-04-18, 05:49 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by Inhumans99 View Post
I know right...a dvd talker actually listening to the advice of others in this thread, what are we in the upside down?

Listening to our advice,well that means no TOTY for you BlueLiteSpecial!

I say this with admiration for the steps you are taking in your life Blue.
It all depends where I go with the thread. I hope therapy will be helpful. I need to get a job, wanting to date, I need to move, and the good and bad stories along the way that could determine TOTY status.
Old 05-05-18, 03:08 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Good on you for talking to someone, that's a very difficult thing to do and you did it!

You may want to add your desire for TOTY to your talking list...because internet points still can't be redeemed in reality yet
Old 05-05-18, 04:32 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Did you end up going to the latest mixer?
Old 05-05-18, 05:08 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

No I haven’t done any other social activities yet. The comedy club was fun last weekend, but I haven’t even thought about any other group meet ups. I’m more concerned at the moment about what I have to do with the case manager, and eventually having to talk to a therapist.
Old 05-15-18, 11:29 AM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

So what's the status with the case manager and therapist?

What you don't want to do is revert to your isolation, which is why I suggested that continue with the social mixers. Once you stop it will be easy to revert back to your old ways.
Old 05-15-18, 03:38 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Thanks for asking. I have an appointment with a vocational representative at the mental health center tomorrow. They said they wanted to evaluate my skills and experience and what I have been looking for in my next job. I don't what kind of help they will be, but we'll see. I've had two appointments with my case manager, we have talked mostly about anxiety, and what are my personal goals. He said I'll probably meet with him one or two more times before it'll be decided if I meet with a therapist. I would still like to meet with a therapist, I've felt like I'm worthless to all women due to my lack of experience. It's been part of my darkest secrets that I don't know how to get past. I still talk in the facebook singles group, and keep in touch with the one friend I have met so far. There is another group meetup at the end of the month, I don't know if I want to try and go. The weather is warming up finally and getting some sun helps too.

Last edited by Bluelitespecial; 05-15-18 at 07:19 PM.
Old 05-15-18, 04:00 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Keep positive, you are doing good.
Old 05-15-18, 04:10 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Everybody starts out with no experience.

Men who start having sex at a young age often develop bad habits based on their own pleasure, and aren't really very good at pleasing women. Once they realize this, they have to unlearn the bad habits to learn better ones, so a woman would want to sleep with them more than once.

There are plenty of women who would be thrilled to teach an inexperienced man how to do it right. It's fun!
Old 05-15-18, 04:15 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by Mrs. Danger View Post

There are plenty of women who would be thrilled to teach an inexperienced man how to do it right. It's fun!
I haven't found any, if I tell the truth they usually cringe. I'm at the point where I'm just angry at all women about it, and just dismiss any interest. That's a big part of where my feelings of inadequacy have come from.
Old 05-15-18, 04:50 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by Bluelitespecial View Post
I haven't found any, if I tell the truth they usually cringe. I'm at the point where I'm just angry at all women about it, and just dismiss any interest. That's a big part of where my feelings of inadequacy have come from.
Two things. First, you have to admit your inexperience at the right time. They can tell that you're inexperienced with women in general just by talking to you. If they keep talking to you, they're giving you a chance. But you can't tell them that you're inexperienced at sex until sex is fairly certain.

Second, if you're angry at women in general, they can pick up on that too. Anyone being faced with that would close down instead of opening up towards you. The individual woman who you're talking to hasn't done anything to you. Stop blaming her for something she didn't do.
Old 05-15-18, 10:53 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by Nick Danger View Post
An terrible DVD Talk thread, though. The OP is supposed to see an entire page of posts disagreeing with him, and ignore their advice.

I'll give my girlfriend a laptop.
I don't need to clean my apartment.
I was a hero when I yelled at those strangers in front of my kids' school.
I'm 24 and I'm entitled to the top of a bunkbed in my parents' house.
I want to buy a car for 22% interest.
We need more man-on-man action in straight porn.
I'm not sure if I am saddened or relieved that I didn't make that list ...

Keep up the good work Blu! I think some of the hardest steps are actually behind you. Not to say it is easy sailing from here, but you've cleared some sizable hurdles.
Old 05-18-18, 12:02 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Well I am officially going to see a Therapist/Psychiatrist probably in the next few weeks, I might try some medicine too. I told my case manager today, I Still have trouble sleeping even though I haven't worked nights in a year, feelings of isolation. Also I said I'm pretty much scared of any woman in any social situation with a few minor exceptions. I haven't gone too far with him in to how screwed up I feel and what has influenced my thinking, but it'll probably all come out. It feels like all of this stuff is connected together with needing to get back to work.

Last edited by Bluelitespecial; 05-18-18 at 05:44 PM.
Old 05-18-18, 12:06 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by Bluelitespecial View Post
Well I am official going to see a Therapist/Psychiatrist probably in the next few weeks, I might try some medicine too. I told my case manager today, I Still have trouble sleeping even though I haven't worked nights in a year, feelings of isolation. Also I said I'm pretty much scared of any woman in any social situation with a few minor exceptions. I haven't gone too far with him in to how screwed up I feel and what has influenced my thinking, but it'll probably all come out. It feels like all of this stuff is connected together with needing to get back to work.
It's good you're pretty self-aware of your issues at least. Don't be afraid to open it up.
Old 05-18-18, 12:30 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by Bluelitespecial View Post
Well I am official going to see a Therapist/Psychiatrist probably in the next few weeks, I might try some medicine too. I told my case manager today, I Still have trouble sleeping even though I haven't worked nights in a year, feelings of isolation. Also I said I'm pretty much scared of any woman in any social situation with a few minor exceptions. I haven't gone too far with him in to how screwed up I feel and what has influenced my thinking, but it'll probably all come out. It feels like all of this stuff is connected together with needing to get back to work.
I'm confident this will help you BLS. Good job.
Old 05-18-18, 02:17 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by VinVega View Post
I'm confident this will help you BLS. Good job.
My thoughts exactly!! Keep it up!!
Old 05-18-18, 05:19 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by Bluelitespecial View Post
Well I am official going to see a Therapist/Psychiatrist probably in the next few weeks, I might try some medicine too. I told my case manager today, I Still have trouble sleeping even though I haven't worked nights in a year, feelings of isolation. Also I said I'm pretty much scared of any woman in any social situation with a few minor exceptions. I haven't gone too far with him in to how screwed up I feel and what has influenced my thinking, but it'll probably all come out. It feels like all of this stuff is connected together with needing to get back to work.
Personally, I think getting a job and following through with therapy/psychiatry are more important than trying to amp up your social life right now. You don't need to stir up your feelings of anxiety about going to mixers and such when you've got more important goals to meet right now. Don't create more problems for yourself. Your relationship to yourself is the most important one right now. Once you heal that relationship, getting over your fear of others will be easier. Your frustration with women is understandable, but it's not wise or healthy to stew in that anger. Practice detachment. Learn to forgive yourself and then work on forgiving others. But don't expect it all to happen right away. It takes time, patience, and understanding. Seeking help is a great first step.
Old 05-21-18, 11:03 AM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by Bluelitespecial View Post
Well I am officially going to see a Therapist/Psychiatrist probably in the next few weeks, I might try some medicine too. I told my case manager today, I Still have trouble sleeping even though I haven't worked nights in a year, feelings of isolation. Also I said I'm pretty much scared of any woman in any social situation with a few minor exceptions. I haven't gone too far with him in to how screwed up I feel and what has influenced my thinking, but it'll probably all come out. It feels like all of this stuff is connected together with needing to get back to work.
You're doing amazing. Being able to open up about this stuff can be very difficult and you're able to connect a lot of dots and are aware that your hatred of women is misguided. Keep going and attending! It will get easier the more you go.
Old 05-21-18, 07:32 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

I'm pretty pissed about the John Wick 3 casting news, and I'll be seeing Deadpool 2 this weekend instead of Solo. I found this youtube channel called Dr. NerdLove, the guy is a total cuck, and his opinions on Jordan Peterson and Fight Club are dead fucking wrong. I've never identified as an Incel, but I've found some good advice here.

Last edited by Bluelitespecial; 05-22-18 at 06:08 PM.
Old 05-21-18, 07:43 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

^ You have to stop watching and following this movement bullshit. It's no good.
Old 05-21-18, 09:58 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

Originally Posted by Why So Blu? View Post
^ You have to stop watching and following this movement bullshit. It's no good.
Exactly this.
Old 05-22-18, 12:58 PM
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Re: Should I go to a Singles Mixer?

If you use the word "cuck" unironically, you have a hell of a long way to go still.

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