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Old 09-10-17, 06:23 PM   #26
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

Like historical facts and stuff?
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Old 09-10-17, 06:24 PM   #27
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

I have a brother who's 54 with a wife who's disabled. He hasn't worked in over ten years. My dad has been giving him several hundred dollars a month for years. They just qualified for housing assistance beginning October 1. I pay for their cell phones (phones only, not smartphones). I know that once my dad dies, my brother will want to move into the trailer my dad has lived in for the last 30 years. I really don't care about that because I don't want to live there and the trailer would be a tear down to me if I were inheriting the land all to myself and wanted to live there. At the very least I'd buy a new trailer.

My dad has pretty much said that he knows this brother will want to move into the trailer although all of his surviving children (one died last year) own equal shares of the place. The way I see it, if he wants to live there, he gets to pay the taxes and insurance. He wouldn't be paying rent, even the pittance he'll be paying now that HUD is stepping in at his current place.

My other brothers and I resent the fact that our parents have enabled this brother over the years, but what can you do? I pay for phones because I want his wife to be able to talk to her kids who live far away without worrying about phone bills or minutes, and because if I only got one phone for them he'd probably monopolize it. I was paying for their grown son's phone at first too, but he was dragging his feet about getting a job or showing any inclination to be a grownup so I yanked it. One thing I wish he would figure out is that the only reason his dad has gotten away with being what he is, is because MY dad has always saved his ass with "loans" that they both knew would never be repaid. My parents made their choices about raising their kids. That doesn't mean I have to take over the job once my dad is gone, though. If my brother starts putting the touch on me for anything after Dad's gone, he's going to come up dry.
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Old 09-10-17, 06:59 PM   #28
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

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Originally Posted by Vibiana View Post
I was paying for their grown son's phone at first too, but he was dragging his feet about getting a job or showing any inclination to be a grownup so I yanked it. One thing I wish he would figure out is that the only reason his dad has gotten away with being what he is, is because MY dad has always saved his ass with "loans" that they both knew would never be repaid. My parents made their choices about raising their kids. That doesn't mean I have to take over the job once my dad is gone, though. If my brother starts putting the touch on me for anything after Dad's gone, he's going to come up dry.
Good attitude here. My take on this is that you need to treat these irresponsible adults like you would treat your adult children (even if you don't have any) - i.e., would you want to enable your kids forever, and have them still be dependent on you when they're in their 50's?! Fuck that.

I have seen parents enable teens, who turn into enabled 20-something adults, who turn into enabled 30-something adults, etc. without ever getting their shit together. I know times can be tough re: the job market, etc. - but some of these people don't even try to get work.
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Old 09-16-17, 08:31 AM   #29
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

Two weeks since he was evicted, none of us have heard from him. I even found a family friend with an empty apartment in his three-story house who's willing to put him up temporarily, for cheap rent, if he agrees to get help and seek subsidized housing. I've left messages for him, but he seems determined not to ask for help. I dread getting a phone call from him asking me to put him up or, worse, having him pop up on my doorstep one cold night.

Thanks for all your honest, thoughtful responses. Much appreciated.
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Old 10-09-17, 06:10 PM   #30
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

Update: my brother is staying with a friend. I talked to the friend, who tells me he's at the end of his rope. My brother just sits there smoking pot and/or sleeping all day while the friend is at work. He won't lift a finger to get help or find a permanent place. Another friend of his owns a studio co-op apartment and has offered to rent it to my brother if he would just fill out a sublease application. He hasn't even looked at the application. He seems determined to hit bottom.
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Old 10-09-17, 06:15 PM   #31
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

^ I feel sympathy for the friend.
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Old 11-06-17, 01:26 AM   #32
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

hey ASH KETCHUM.

trying to message you about ART BELL radio shows on tapes.

Can i buy yours, and convert them to mp3s and then send them back to you for free?

i have the largest Art Bell mp3 collection in the world..
id even give you what ever you wanted (art bell shows) if your collection was good.

how many tapes? can you send a quick list of dates with guests name?
looking for 2002 and prior.

i joined this site to contact you...
do you know anyone else with old tapes of ART BELL?
thanks!
can you pm people here?. i didnt see the option to do that.
or brugvu at hotmail

wanna take a ride? $$$
mike
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Old 11-06-17, 01:56 AM   #33
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

Is this Ash’s brother?
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Old 11-06-17, 02:09 AM   #34
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by brugvu View Post
hey ASH KETCHUM.

trying to message you about ART BELL radio shows on tapes.

Can i buy yours, and convert them to mp3s and then send them back to you for free?

i have the largest Art Bell mp3 collection in the world..
id even give you what ever you wanted (art bell shows) if your collection was good.

how many tapes? can you send a quick list of dates with guests name?
looking for 2002 and prior.

i joined this site to contact you...
do you know anyone else with old tapes of ART BELL?
thanks!
can you pm people here?. i didnt see the option to do that.
or brugvu at hotmail

wanna take a ride? $$$
mike
What makes you think I have any Art Bell tapes? This is quite baffling.
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Old 11-06-17, 02:41 AM   #35
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

i read your own statement.
on a google search "ART BELL" "recorded on tapes"

if you have any. id convert them for you for free.
id pay shipping for both ways. or id just buy the tapes.

I live in michigan. i just turned 41. i have the largest ART BELL collection.
wanna take a ride? or not. brugvu at hotmail
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Old 11-06-17, 03:38 AM   #36
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

Well this thread has taken a bizarre turn...
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Old 11-06-17, 03:48 AM   #37
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

sorry for the disruption.
i'll leave now...
anyways, brugvu hot mail if you have ART BELL shows on tapes.
i convert them for free.

thanks.
bye
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Old 11-06-17, 01:06 PM   #38
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

why is Ash not admitting he has all this Art Bell tapes? He's always talking about them when brugvu is not around!
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Old 11-06-17, 02:24 PM   #39
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

Well ... didn’t see that one coming ... huh. Who would have thought John Titor would find his way here?
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Old 11-06-17, 02:45 PM   #40
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

Yeah but, wanna take a ride?
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Old 11-06-17, 03:07 PM   #41
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

Apparently I posted this somewhere else on this forum earlier this year and completely forgot about it. If Brugvu had simply posted his request in that thread, there would have been far less confusion:

Quote:
All my Sony Walkmans stopped playing tapes years ago. I don't have anything to play them on now and I have hundreds of tapes I recorded off the radio (Howard Stern, Art Bell, several local hosts in NYC, etc.) and would love to listen to them again.
For the record, I only have a couple (i.e. about two) tapes of Art Bell's show. I only included him in that line because he and Stern are the only famous hosts I have tapes of. I'm not about to start digging through my boxes in storage for just two tapes. And they wouldn't even be complete shows, just single interviews or segments.

Sorry I can't be of help, Brugvu. Maybe Alan Smithee can help you. He's got everything!
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Old 11-06-17, 03:17 PM   #42
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

Update on the brother???
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Old 11-06-17, 04:32 PM   #43
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

Can I take a ride?
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Old 11-06-17, 04:36 PM   #44
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ash Ketchum View Post
If Brugvu had simply posted his request in that thread, there would have been far less confusion:
Yeah, he doesn't exactly strike me as a person who would take the logical route like that.
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Old 11-06-17, 04:36 PM   #45
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

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Originally Posted by d2cheer View Post
Update on the brother???
He took a ride.
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Old 11-06-17, 04:39 PM   #46
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ash Ketchum View Post
What makes you think I have any Art Bell tapes? This is quite baffling.
Like there's a conspiracy or something
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Old 11-06-17, 04:58 PM   #47
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

Your brother could make good money selling cassette tapes for MP3 conversion.
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Old 11-06-17, 08:21 PM   #48
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ash Ketchum View Post
Apparently I posted this somewhere else on this forum earlier this year and completely forgot about it. If Brugvu had simply posted his request in that thread, there would have been far less confusion:



For the record, I only have a couple (i.e. about two) tapes of Art Bell's show. I only included him in that line because he and Stern are the only famous hosts I have tapes of. I'm not about to start digging through my boxes in storage for just two tapes. And they wouldn't even be complete shows, just single interviews or segments.

Sorry I can't be of help, Brugvu. Maybe Alan Smithee can help you. He's got everything!
Thanks Ash. Now we look like a bunch of assholes who ran off another cool new member. Wait, we actually are a bunch of assholes. Thanks Ash.
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Old 11-06-17, 08:45 PM   #49
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Abob Teff View Post
Thanks Ash. Now we look like a bunch of assholes who ran off another cool new member. Wait, we actually are a bunch of assholes. Thanks Ash.
Great. Brugvu has the largest collection of Art Bell mp3’s in the world and DVDTalk has the largest collection of assholes.
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Old 11-06-17, 09:26 PM   #50
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Re: What to do about a sibling who needs help but won't get it?

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Originally Posted by GoldenJCJ View Post
and DVDTalk has the largest collection of assholes.
If you send them to me, I'll put them on MP3.

Brugvu, I checked with my uncle who used to listen to tons of Art Bell and his tapes are all long gone, sorry.
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