DVD Talk Forum

DVD Talk Forum (https://forum.dvdtalk.com/)
-   Other Talk (https://forum.dvdtalk.com/other-talk-9/)
-   -   Are you happy with your life? (https://forum.dvdtalk.com/other-talk/629861-you-happy-your-life.html)

Why So Blu? 12-08-15 02:21 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by Lt Ripley (Post 12665419)
"I ain't a player, I just read a lot."



"I'm glad I brought my library card cuz I'm checking you out!"


#pimpingainteasybutitsnecessary

Lt Ripley 12-08-15 02:25 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
:lol:

fumanstan 12-08-15 02:43 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by A-aron (Post 12665420)
I'm content, but not happy. Love my life isn't the one I'm married to. I try to put her out of my mind, but it doesn't work - something always comes up that reminds me. The few friends that I have constantly remind me of why the current wife is the wrong one (mainly for how she doesn't really want me to have "unapproved" friends). I have to sneak conversations with many in order to avoid having the wife go off on them (again).

Travel for work has picked up - which she hates - but it allows me to have the time I need to talk to people, write, etc. that make me feel better. But I know I have to return home eventually to reality.

Wow, that sounds terrible - unless of course your friends are really bad people and drug dealers or something.

A-aron 12-08-15 02:46 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by mrhan (Post 12665439)
You seriously should consider counseling and/or move on. This is going to eventually drive you insane. One day your going to wake up and your going to be old and regretting shit.

we did counseling ... first I went alone (which was nice being able to speak my mind) - but stopped once the counselor started pushing Jesus. I'm not kidding - after the 3rd session she said that she felt I needed to make friends, but that if I made them through Christ my wife would be more accepting. I got up, walked out, and never went back.

We tried couples counseling, but she stopped once the counselor seemed to take my side (at least agreeing that her demands of friend "approval" were unfair and over the line). it felt good to have someone see/understand what I had issues with.

For now, I just don't associate with anyone (and there is clearly a bit of a grudge I hold for how she went off on a friend - just because it was a female). To this day I still feel like I can't really trust her - so now a lot of things are done in hiding.

Ky-Fi 12-08-15 02:46 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
Definitely liked my 30s better than my 40s.

30s: Working in the back office of a smalltown bank. Not a great salary, but some disposable income. Awesome pet cat Simba. Went to grad school at Tufts, did great, got a degree in History/Museum Studies. Took up fencing, started competing. Studied Chinese martial arts with a world-class teacher (not that I was a world-class student). Japanese girlfriend I wanted to marry. Bought a small condo in a quaint seaside town. Focused on my solo music in spare time, released my first album on iTunes. Things are looking good, baby!

40s: Still working in smalltown bank. Economy crashes, lose 30% of value of home. No raises for 5 years. Japanese girlfriend didn't work out. Living expenses increase dramatically, as does debt. Can't afford to leave current job for lower-paying museum job. Can rarely afford fencing or martial arts. Some good reviews of my music, but NO money to be made. Cat dies. 8 or 9 aunts and uncles pass away in about 5 years. Parents aging, Dad not in greatest health.

On the plus side, I have a great circle of 4 or 5 old, loyal, supportive friends, and have no major health issues, and I like where I live. Still, not where I thought I'd be at this point. :lol:

jfoobar 12-08-15 03:44 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by Ky-Fi (Post 12665557)
...and I like where I live.

http://i.imgur.com/u19rqLS.jpg

Abob Teff 12-08-15 04:30 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by wearetheborg (Post 12664815)
How did you two meet?

They met when her parents needed a babysitter for the evening. (I'm sure you've heard it all. Seriously though, good for you! I agree age is just a mindset that too many people get hung up on.)


Originally Posted by A-aron (Post 12665553)
we did counseling ... first I went alone (which was nice being able to speak my mind) - but stopped once the counselor started pushing Jesus. I'm not kidding - after the 3rd session she said that she felt I needed to make friends, but that if I made them through Christ my wife would be more accepting. I got up, walked out, and never went back.

We tried couples counseling, but she stopped once the counselor seemed to take my side (at least agreeing that her demands of friend "approval" were unfair and over the line). it felt good to have someone see/understand what I had issues with.

For now, I just don't associate with anyone (and there is clearly a bit of a grudge I hold for how she went off on a friend - just because it was a female). To this day I still feel like I can't really trust her - so now a lot of things are done in hiding.

A-aron, I feel you bro! Get to the "want to leave" threads if you haven't yet.

Everybody is preaching the value of counsellors, but there are some bad ones.

As for the friend thing, this has been a major stumbling block in my marriage as well. I thought we were finally getting past it until my wife brought it up again last night. I don't know what to say on this issue. I know it irrationally upsets her, but she is going to have to figure it out. I'm not going to stop talking to female friends "just because."

On another note, I can't believe we got this far before we remembered to remind Snake that happiness is a white privilege thing.

Ky-Fi 12-08-15 05:00 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by jfoobar (Post 12665643)

:lol: More Great White sightings on the South Shore than up here, but I guess it is all connected.

Let's just say I don't go out for too many pre-dawn swims. :)

FiveO 12-08-15 05:11 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
:lol: You guys/gals are awesome....

I'm happy...very happy...not 100% happy but I'll take it.

The most important thing is you have to be happy or at least content with your job....I cannot stress this enough. Once you're happy with what you do...other things CAN fall into place.

If you're not happy with your job things get problematic...quick. Stress builds up.

Your career allows you to keep your life in balance...living space/food/extras. If you can't do something you enjoy to keep you in general life stuff.....its going to be problematic.

I love what I do...I make good money for my area and I have no debt other than my house/car...and I've gotten my monthly bills down to under 400 bucks..total.

You have to enjoy what you do...get that in line then check on other parts of your life. Just my opinion.

mrhan 12-08-15 08:43 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by A-aron (Post 12665553)
we did counseling ... first I went alone (which was nice being able to speak my mind) - but stopped once the counselor started pushing Jesus. I'm not kidding - after the 3rd session she said that she felt I needed to make friends, but that if I made them through Christ my wife would be more accepting. I got up, walked out, and never went back.

We tried couples counseling, but she stopped once the counselor seemed to take my side (at least agreeing that her demands of friend "approval" were unfair and over the line). it felt good to have someone see/understand what I had issues with.

For now, I just don't associate with anyone (and there is clearly a bit of a grudge I hold for how she went off on a friend - just because it was a female). To this day I still feel like I can't really trust her - so now a lot of things are done in hiding.

wow....I think you already know what to do....even though we don't know the details or know you personally I feel that your just afraid to do the right thing for yourself. The fact your now hiding shit just shows you don't want to confront the problems you and your wife are having.

....and the counselor pushing JC on you is beyond stupid. That has nothing to do with what your going through. What a bunch of horseshit.

Shannon Nutt 12-09-15 05:58 AM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
I'm semi-happy. I've been divorced for over a year now, and while last holiday season wasn't too bad since I was still new to being single again and still getting everything sorted out at my new place, I must confess that this holiday season has been pretty depressing for me - not to the point where I'm sulking around, but I can certainly see why the clinically depressed get so down during the holidays. :(

rocket1312 12-09-15 08:10 AM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by FiveO (Post 12665769)
:lol: You guys/gals are awesome....

I'm happy...very happy...not 100% happy but I'll take it.

The most important thing is you have to be happy or at least content with your job....I cannot stress this enough. Once you're happy with what you do...other things CAN fall into place.

If you're not happy with your job things get problematic...quick. Stress builds up.

Your career allows you to keep your life in balance...living space/food/extras. If you can't do something you enjoy to keep you in general life stuff.....its going to be problematic.

I love what I do...I make good money for my area and I have no debt other than my house/car...and I've gotten my monthly bills down to under 400 bucks..total.

You have to enjoy what you do...get that in line then check on other parts of your life. Just my opinion.

I'm going to disagree with this. I don't hate my job or anything, but I'm not exactly fired up to go into work in the morning. However, it serves its purpose and that is to help provide for the things that actually matter to me, which are my wife and son and other various hobbies/interests, etc. I think too many people define themselves by their job. My job is just part of me and if I didn't need the money, I'd quit tomorrow.

wearetheborg 12-09-15 08:36 AM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by FiveO (Post 12665769)
:lol: You guys/gals are awesome....

I'm happy...very happy...not 100% happy but I'll take it.

The most important thing is you have to be happy or at least content with your job....I cannot stress this enough. Once you're happy with what you do...other things CAN fall into place.

If you're not happy with your job things get problematic...quick. Stress builds up.

Your career allows you to keep your life in balance...living space/food/extras. If you can't do something you enjoy to keep you in general life stuff.....its going to be problematic.

I love what I do...I make good money for my area and I have no debt other than my house/car...and I've gotten my monthly bills down to under 400 bucks..total.

You have to enjoy what you do...get that in line then check on other parts of your life. Just my opinion.

What job do you have?

Obi-Wanma 12-09-15 09:29 AM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by rocket1312 (Post 12666288)
I'm going to disagree with this. I don't hate my job or anything, but I'm not exactly fired up to go into work in the morning. However, it serves its purpose and that is to help provide for the things that actually matter to me, which are my wife and son and other various hobbies/interests, etc. I think too many people define themselves by their job. My job is just part of me and if I didn't need the money, I'd quit tomorrow.

:thumbsup:

van der graaf 12-09-15 10:05 AM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by rocket1312 (Post 12666288)
I'm going to disagree with this. I don't hate my job or anything, but I'm not exactly fired up to go into work in the morning. However, it serves its purpose and that is to help provide for the things that actually matter to me, which are my wife and son and other various hobbies/interests, etc. I think too many people define themselves by their job. My job is just part of me and if I didn't need the money, I'd quit tomorrow.

Right on. Work to live, don't live to work.

kd5 12-09-15 10:11 AM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
Happy with my marriage, unhappy with my job.

raven56706 12-09-15 10:38 AM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
happy with marriage, unhappy with my in laws, kind of happy with job, super happy with my kids

Why So Blu? 12-09-15 10:46 AM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by van der graaf (Post 12666386)
Right on. Work to live, don't live to work.


This. There are times where it looks like I've lost motivation or initiative but that's not the case. I'm just not going to spend my working life worrying about bullshit. Fun will be had - everything else is secondary. I will not spend my life worrying about things I don't have control over.

/rant

inri222 12-09-15 10:55 AM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
Good marriage
No kids (we like it that way)
No debt (except for the mortgage)
Not great, but decent job
I try to go out and have fun at least once a week

Not 100% happy but better off than most of the people I know who contantly complain about their jobs, spouses and kids.

Ash Ketchum 12-09-15 11:31 AM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by Solid Snake (Post 12663608)
Cuz I know I'm not. I haven't been. I'm not even sure what that feels like.

It's something I purposefully kind of run away from thinking about. Staying busy w/ jobs, my hobbies, people, etc.

[CUT]

Maybe leaving it all and starting over is what I need. My lease is up in July. I'm seriously trying to figure it out by point. That's my "time limit" of figuring it all out. I dunno.

Anyway... that's my fucking rant.

I'm just curious as to what your obligations to your mother are. Does she need you there? Are you doing anything for her that your sister can't do? If so, just deal with it until the day comes when your obligations are over. It may not be fair, but it's the hand that was dealt to you, so you've gotta play it. It won't help you to complain about it, to resent it, to be bitter about it. Perfectly natural to feel all those things, but it gets in the way of clearing out your head to prepare for the next move, whatever that is.

If the answer is no to my three initial questions, then maybe it's time to move on, start fresh somewhere. Just try not to have too many possessions. Maybe the military's not a bad idea. It'll give you some structure and some training and you'll get a sense of who you are in relation to a wide range of other kinds of people. Or some kind of job in the helping professions where you have to work with people who are much worse off than you. And where they come to rely on you.

The other option is to go back to school. You're a smart guy, Solid Snake, and taking classes will: 1) make you smarter; and 2) give some structure to your search for knowledge. You should also learn how to write better. You have a lot of important things to say, but you need to learn how to express them better.

smg669 12-09-15 12:55 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 
My personal life is like at a 9... my professional life is at like a 2.

nando820 12-09-15 03:14 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by FiveO (Post 12665769)
:lol: You guys/gals are awesome....

I'm happy...very happy...not 100% happy but I'll take it.

The most important thing is you have to be happy or at least content with your job....I cannot stress this enough. Once you're happy with what you do...other things CAN fall into place.

If you're not happy with your job things get problematic...quick. Stress builds up.

Your career allows you to keep your life in balance...living space/food/extras. If you can't do something you enjoy to keep you in general life stuff.....its going to be problematic.

I love what I do...I make good money for my area and I have no debt other than my house/car...and I've gotten my monthly bills down to under 400 bucks..total.

You have to enjoy what you do...get that in line then check on other parts of your life. Just my opinion.

How you did that??

T-bone22 12-09-15 04:38 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by smg669 (Post 12666613)
My personal life is like at a 9... my professional life is at like a 2.

Hello hello!

Abob Teff 12-09-15 10:00 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by Ash Ketchum (Post 12666498)
You have a lot of important things to say, but you need to learn how to express them better.

On behalf of my mentor Snake,

[broken english]Fuck you, mother fucker.[/broken english]

van der graaf 12-09-15 10:07 PM

Re: Are you happy with your life?
 

Originally Posted by Ash Ketchum (Post 12666498)

The other option is to go back to school. You're a smart guy, Solid Snake, and taking classes will: 1) make you smarter; and 2) give some structure to your search for knowledge. You should also learn how to write better. You have a lot of important things to say, but you need to learn how to express them better.

Probably the dumbest life advice ever given in Otter. Ever. "Pee in her butt" is fucking Viktor Frankl compared to this bullshit.


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:17 PM.


Copyright 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.