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Sex in Commercials

Old 04-15-09, 10:37 PM
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Sex in Commercials

Dan Savage (Savage Love Podcast) had been talking about Quiznos’ gay porn commercial so I looked it up. Definitely gay. “Put it in me Scott.” “Say it sexy. Sexier.” For a 12” Meat Torpedo.



He also has talked about Centaur Porn, a.k.a. the Old Spice commerical:



I love how this guy talks about double impact as he puts the bottle on his ass. “Old Spice Double Impact. It’s two things.”

Then today I was watching American Idol and caught some burger porn which Hardees is great for. In this spot the woman from Top Chef has on a very sexy dress and basically has an orgasm while eating the burger. No other real way to explain it. "I've always had a love affair with food..."



And check out this Hardees commercial where a girl, well, demonstrates that she has a mouth big enough for a Monster Thickburger:



To be fair though, this one may be a well-made prank. But if it's real, wow!

Last edited by Heat; 04-15-09 at 10:39 PM.
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Old 04-15-09, 10:45 PM
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Re: Sex in Commercials

I enjoy Savage's column, but there was a massive lack of sex in those commercials.
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Old 04-15-09, 10:50 PM
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Re: Sex in Commercials

Originally Posted by Heat View Post
He also has talked about Centaur Porn, a.k.a. the Old Spice commerical:



I love how this guy talks about double impact as he puts the bottle on his ass. “Old Spice Double Impact. It’s two things.”


Boss: If I were to watch Centaur porn.. but with the bottom of the screen blocked out with a piece of cardboard.. would I find the human halves of the female actresses appealing?

Centaur: Well.. maybe.. But you've got to remember that, at some point, there's gonna be a horse penis in there.
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Old 04-15-09, 11:03 PM
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Re: Sex in Commercials

Well, not outright sex, it is a commercial afterall. But highly suggestive - something that adults will know what is being talked about while it would go over the heads of kids.

Like the song "Afternoon Delight".
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Old 04-16-09, 07:39 AM
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Re: Sex in Commercials

Ive noticed on network TV they have changed the "put it in me" to something tamer, but saw the original last night on Spike. The Hardee's girl eating is just silly.
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Old 04-16-09, 10:27 AM
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Re: Sex in Commercials

Originally Posted by Heat View Post



Then today I was watching American Idol and caught some burger porn which Hardees is great for. In this spot the woman from Top Chef has on a very sexy dress and basically has an orgasm while eating the burger. No other real way to explain it. "I've always had a love affair with food..."


How I would love to be that burger.
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Old 04-16-09, 10:31 AM
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Re: Sex in Commercials

Originally Posted by dx23 View Post
How I would love to be that burger.
Are you German by any chance?
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Old 04-16-09, 10:33 AM
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Re: Sex in Commercials

I wish there was sex in commercials. Real, hardcore sex. Two actors going at it while they scream "this is almost as good as [insert product here]!" Then they insert the product...there.

*sigh*
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Old 04-16-09, 10:42 AM
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Re: Sex in Commercials

Originally Posted by Numanoid View Post
Are you German by any chance?
No, but I own a Shamwow! I can clean all the blo... liquid spilled on the bed.
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Old 04-16-09, 11:08 AM
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Re: Sex in Commercials

How can an oven be gay?
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Old 04-16-09, 01:21 PM
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Re: Sex in Commercials

Originally Posted by Mopower View Post
How can an oven be gay?
These 2 don't look very manly to me:



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Old 04-16-09, 09:04 PM
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Re: Sex in Commercials

Originally Posted by Mopower View Post
How can an oven be gay?
It gets a little weird - basically the toaster oven is the dominate partner who is playing the submissive partner, leaving Scott to be the dominate one.

Here's what Dan Savage said (and I highly recommend his podcast):

...A couple weeks ago I was totally obsessed with the Old Spice centaur and the creation of a whole generation of centaur fetishists and I hate to just be a corporate stooge and a lackey but I’ve been traveling a lot, spending a lot of time in hotel rooms, watching a lot of TV and I’ve been catching this commercial for Quizno’s and their new fast food, food-ish product called a Toasty Torpedo. I don’t know if you’ve seen it but it’s basically this kind of cute, shaggy haired dim-witted boy who has a dom-sub relationship with a toaster oven - that is the filthiest fucking thing on TV. It is gay porn in a Quizno’s ad which is so weird because who is the market for crappy fast food? Like straight boys, and do straight boys really respond to the idea of having a dom-sub relationship with a male identified toaster oven that says things to you like “put it in me Scott” in a male voice and that makes straight guys want to go buy these Toasty Torpedoes which are basically these twelve inch long sandwich cocks that shove down their throats? Apparently it does, like, being gay is really hip. I guess that if you can make it a little abstract like it’s a toaster oven and you can still be the dom you can still be the insertive partner in the relationship even though you’re submissive, straight boys respond...
and dom-sub is short of dominate/submissive of course.
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Old 04-16-09, 09:55 PM
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Re: Sex in Commercials

Originally Posted by Bandoman View Post
I wish there was sex in commercials. Real, hardcore sex. Two actors going at it while they scream "this is almost as good as [insert product here]!" Then they insert the product...there.

*sigh*


Sorry, the sex is implied and occurs offscreen.
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Old 04-17-09, 08:46 AM
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Re: Sex in Commercials

Originally Posted by wishbone View Post


Sorry, the sex is implied and occurs offscreen.
I get it that the kid is lonely and wants a sibling, but I'm not sure I approve of a 7 year old home alone and balanced precariously over a huge pot of boiling water.
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Old 04-17-09, 10:56 AM
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Re: Sex in Commercials

Originally Posted by Heat View Post
It gets a little weird - basically the toaster oven is the dominate partner who is playing the submissive partner, leaving Scott to be the dominate one.

Here's what Dan Savage said (and I highly recommend his podcast):



and dom-sub is short of dominate/submissive of course.
It's amazing how when people try to overanalyze stupid things they end up sucking all the fun out of it. Dom/sub? Ugh.

Why can't we just enjoy a commercial about a gay relationship between a man and his toaster oven. Personally I think the commercial is the greatest ad ever to make it onto TV. I can't stop laughing no matter how many times I've seen it.
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Old 04-17-09, 11:00 AM
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Re: Sex in Commercials

Originally Posted by Charlie Goose View Post
I get it that the kid is lonely and wants a sibling, but I'm not sure I approve of a 7 year old home alone and balanced precariously over a huge pot of boiling water.
You have to suck the fun out of everything don't you?!





Great ad.
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Old 04-17-09, 11:26 AM
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Re: Sex in Commercials

Originally Posted by Mopower View Post
How can an oven be gay?
When it's flaming?









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Old 04-17-09, 11:40 AM
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Re: Sex in Commercials

Originally Posted by Charlie Goose View Post
I get it that the kid is lonely and wants a sibling, but I'm not sure I approve of a 7 year old home alone and balanced precariously over a huge pot of boiling water.
How about being home alone with access to alcohol? And, knowing how to open said alcohol...
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Old 04-17-09, 11:53 AM
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Re: Sex in Commercials

Originally Posted by Vipper II View Post
How about being home alone with access to alcohol? And, knowing how to open said alcohol...
well.. he didnt actually succeed in opening the alcohol
he ended up getting the cork screw stuck in the cork
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Old 04-17-09, 12:02 PM
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Re: Sex in Commercials

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Old 04-20-09, 05:49 PM
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Re: Sex in Commercials

Originally Posted by wishbone View Post


Sorry, the sex is implied and occurs offscreen.
I didn't know what that was an add for until they showed the product at the very end. I couldn't tell if it was for Vodafone (with the kid wearing what I think is a Manchester United Jersey), Umbro, or what.
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