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How do Cemetaries make money??

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How do Cemetaries make money??

Old 04-28-08, 01:54 PM
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How do Cemetaries make money??

I know theres quick cash at the beginning selling plots, but whoever owns a cemetery will have to pay for groundskeeping forever! Once a cemetery is all used up, he cant just sell the place--His kids will have to pay the upkeep for generations to come. They cant sell the land, cant build on it, just keep it pretty.
Old 04-28-08, 01:55 PM
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Gold fillings and jewelry.
Old 04-28-08, 01:56 PM
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Cemetaries are always in demand, because people are dying to get in!
Old 04-28-08, 01:56 PM
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Don't fool yourself. People buy used plots all the time. There's a reason they dig the hole before the family shows up.
Old 04-28-08, 01:57 PM
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An Immortal Recitation by Benny Hill (RIP):

Why do cemeteries always have walls?
It's silly beyond a doubt;
The people outside don't want to go in
And the ones inside can't get out!

Old 04-28-08, 01:58 PM
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They get a nickel every time someone misspells their name!
Old 04-28-08, 02:00 PM
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I always figure that they bury the newly deceased over old, unmarked graves. If there's no grave marker, then you can aruge that there is no grave and it's OK to dig there.

I wouldn't be suprised if old, unknown remains were ground to make way for new sites.
Old 04-28-08, 02:03 PM
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my wife's grandmother says that a local hospital where we live has a special deal with a local funeral home to give them business
Old 04-28-08, 02:04 PM
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If a family fails to leave flowers for 2 consecutive months, the deceased risk foreclosure.
Old 04-28-08, 02:06 PM
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most cemeteries are non-profits and use interest from trust funds to cover maintenance
Old 04-28-08, 02:12 PM
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didnt you ever wonder why they bury people 6 feet deep?

because 20 years ago, they burried them 8 feet deep

and in another 20 years.. they will be burying people 4 feet deep.
Old 04-28-08, 02:17 PM
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Because the probability of someone dying is 100%.
Old 04-28-08, 02:21 PM
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^^What will they do in 60 years?
Old 04-28-08, 02:22 PM
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We also cannot overlook the profits on their concession stands.
Old 04-28-08, 02:27 PM
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But seriously, the cemetaries in my city are run by the city. What's the deal in the States?
Old 04-28-08, 02:29 PM
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I always thought they built homes on top of them. At least that's what I learned from watching Poltergeist.
Old 04-28-08, 02:32 PM
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everyone was selling pre-paid funeral plans in the last 20 years, lets see if they deliver
Old 04-28-08, 02:36 PM
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As time passes they increase the cost for new plots. I would say that cemeteries may be required by law to set up a "maintenance fund."

At least this is what I would do. Hopefully the interest from this fund should cover plowing and mowing - when I eventually ran out of plots.

Now - do you realy ever run out of plots.

Husband / wives want to be buried on top of each other

sometimes older (larger) plots may be divided. so this is an income stream.
Old 04-28-08, 02:48 PM
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How do cemetaries make money? Volume.
Old 04-28-08, 02:49 PM
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The Zombie insurance plan is where they getcha.
Old 04-28-08, 02:56 PM
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Soyalent Green Recycling™ is where the real money is made.
Old 04-28-08, 02:59 PM
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Originally Posted by John Galt
^^What will they do in 60 years?
bring in more dirt.. duh!

Old 04-28-08, 03:23 PM
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they sell the land to real estate developers...

who DIDN'T move the bodies!!!
Old 04-28-08, 03:31 PM
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can you really move the bodies legally??
Old 04-28-08, 05:10 PM
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Just remember Bill Blazejowski's advice:

"Hey, this one's full. You should've bought an empty one!"

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