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Most Embarrassing Poop Confessions

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Most Embarrassing Poop Confessions

Old 05-22-07, 07:31 PM
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Most Embarrassing Poop Confessions

I was in marching band in high school, and we used to do these walk-a-thons during the summer. One year, I ate some Taco Bell breakfast burritos before walking, which was a hugely bad idea. They tasted great, but they weren't too kind to my digestive tract. While walking, I got bad stomach cramps, and ended up pooping my pants with some diarrhea-quality turds. I was with my friend, and he gave me his sweatshirt to tie around my waist. We walked to a grocery store, where I spent half an hour trying to rinse out my underwear in the bathroom. When I got home, my dad asked if I pooped my pants, but I told him I just slid down a hill.
Old 05-22-07, 07:41 PM
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When I was real little, maybe 2 or 3, I pulled down my pants and took a shit in the front yard. My grandpa was babysitting me. He caught me doing it and gave me a pretty good whopping.
Old 05-22-07, 07:51 PM
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Originally Posted by toolbin
When I got home, my dad asked if I pooped my pants, but I told him I just slid down a hill.
Old 05-22-07, 08:01 PM
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Originally Posted by toolbin
I was in marching band in high school, and we used to do these walk-a-thons during the summer. One year, I ate some Taco Bell breakfast burritos before walking, which was a hugely bad idea. They tasted great, but they weren't too kind to my digestive tract. While walking, I got bad stomach cramps, and ended up pooping my pants with some diarrhea-quality turds. I was with my friend, and he gave me his sweatshirt to tie around my waist. We walked to a grocery store, where I spent half an hour trying to rinse out my underwear in the bathroom. When I got home, my dad asked if I pooped my pants, but I told him I just slid down a hill.


You had a pretty good friend to let you borrow his sweatshirt for your crap.
Old 05-22-07, 08:01 PM
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When I first visited the US (I was about 8) we went to some ski resort just to see snow, I guess. I got diarrhea pretty bad and had to relieve myself randomly on the highway. My dad took a picture of it.

Years later, once we lived here, we went to Delaware as my mom had a job interview up here. I got appendicitis. In my first or second day of recovery, my bowels gave out as I was trying to make it to the bathroom. A nurse I had a crush on had to clean it. I apologized a million times I think.

Since then, I've never pooped again.
Old 05-22-07, 08:23 PM
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Originally Posted by The Bus
Since then, I've never pooped again.
Holy crap!
Old 05-22-07, 08:38 PM
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nice first post newbie....
Old 05-22-07, 08:50 PM
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Once in the dorms, I got the extreem urge to crap & thought I was going to go right then. I ran to the bathroom, got in the stall and was going to sit down when my ass exploded! Shit splattered all over the back of the toilet. Glad it was late night so I was able to wipe and get back to my room before anyone else went in there and 'discovered' the mess. Nastiest thing ever.
Old 05-22-07, 09:04 PM
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THEEK, just because you aren't using smilies, don't think you can get away with having a second username here.


Originally Posted by toolbin
my dad asked if I pooped my pants, but I told him I just slid down a hill.
Ah, one of those damn stinky hills.
Old 05-22-07, 09:14 PM
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My mother was a teacher at my school, so I was at school a lot after hours. Once in I think 5th grade, I had to take a crap so bad, but the only door that was unlocked was on the other side of the building (we were playing outside). My friend convinced me to take a dump behind this big rock on the playground and wipe with notebook paper. It was either that or poop my pants, so I did it. My friend promised not to tell anybody.

Well, the next day, I ran out to recess only to see a huge group of kids standing around the rock in question. And there was my friend acting like a goddamn tour guide giving all the kids the details of me crapping behind said rock. When I came out there they all started laughing at me. I was a pretty sensitive kid, but surprisingly, the laughing didn't bother me that day. I just looked at them and said something to the effect of "Hey, I had to poop." All the kids just kind of looked at me with an understanding look and dispersed. Nothing was ever said about it again. Weird.
Old 05-22-07, 09:36 PM
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Originally Posted by cultshock
THEEK, just because you aren't using smilies, don't think you can get away with having a second username here.
That's funny--I was going to accuse orderandlaw of the same thing.
Old 05-22-07, 10:42 PM
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I'm lactose intolerent and ignore the fact so I have a lot of poop stories but none that I care to share.
Old 05-23-07, 01:15 AM
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Okay so it's 1st grade and Im out on the playground and I keep putting off taking a dump and finally I had an accident. We come in from Recess and went to the Computer lab. At the computer lab the teacher "sensed"/smelled something was up and started sending kids to the nurse to check. She never sent me and after the computer lab It was time to go home. My mom picked me up and I sat on my side and said "yup I had an accident." I was extremely depressed but happy that I was not embarrassed.
Old 05-23-07, 01:52 AM
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after hitting the gym at night, oatmeal i had for breakfast wanted out and wanted out fast. I was walking towards the car and it hit me that i was not going to be able to make it home. luckily it was late night and dark, i walked towards the bushes as fast as holdingly possible and popped a squat. most relieving feeling ever.
Old 05-23-07, 01:58 AM
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On another occasian about 10 years ago, our family went out to a swish french restaraunt for my parents 25th anniversary. Since my dad was footing the bill I took upon myself to try all the gourmet beers and foods. After a few hours of creamy delights and unknown alcoholic drinks the old guts were rumbling.
The next morning when I awoke i realised I hadnt actually got them anything for the anniversary so I got dressed, threw down a coffee and drove into town.
Halfway in i lifted the left butcheek to smack the first one of the day out when dribble dribble dribble...fvck was the first thing to enter my head.
I quickly pulled a u-turn that would have made the stuntmen from Hollywood proud, deternmined to make it home without incident, i knew fairly soon though that my confidence in bowel restriction was to be my downfall.
** Now some of you might have been caught in this situation and you'll know when your trying to clasp your asscheeks together while driving, you lift off the seat and because of this you accelerate more, thus ensuring more panic. **
Anyways halfway home I knew I wasn't going to make it, when bingo...my local tennis club came into view, they had a public toilet block and hopefully it wasnt locked. So I chucked another bathurst inspired left turn and headed into the reserve in which the courts/toilet was located. Feeling relief that I had found a toilet only made the situation worse, there was no stopping this "le turd". About 100m from the toilet block and still doing a fair speed, I chucked the handbrake on and gave the wheel a short turn and skidded to a stop at right angles just near the dunny block, I'm pretty sure I exited the car before it had stopped, and hadn't noticed the taxi parked nearby.
I ran into the toilets untying my tracksuit pants but I knew i wasnt going to make it....what to do.. as soon as I turned the first corner of the toilet block I threw down my pants, bent over and well..yer you can imagine the rest.
As I half stood there in divine relief, removing my socks and undies into the nearest bin I hear a "You alright out there mate". I had forgotton about the taxi driver, he'd pulled in for a bog and read of the morning paper. "Yeah I am now thanks" I replied and got out of there, home and showered before he would have wiped and flushed. I shudder to think of the mess that greeted him upon opening his cubicle door.
Later that day I got that present and some new tracksuit pants as well.
This story is deadset true as well...now I know why people hate the French.
Old 05-23-07, 02:49 AM
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OH, boy! You open a whole can of worms (no pun intended). I was laughing at your gross story and then I remember I had plenty of my own.

I had many problems as a kid because I wasn't aware I was lactose intolerant. Running out of toilet paper is a problem everyone has at one point or another. Well, in one case that wasn't the problem. The toilet didn't have a good flush. The bathroom was located at the back of the classroom. With enough toilet paper, the sucker started gathering water in the tank until it overflowed out of the tank and onto the floor into the classroom with pieces of turd everywhere. UGH! What the hell do you do but get embarassed?
Old 05-23-07, 03:08 AM
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wierd i just pooped my pants tonight.
Old 05-23-07, 03:39 AM
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Ya know I look back and I've had a few close calls for sure... the worst was probably five yrs ago...I was at a party and felt the urge coming on (damn those won ton pepperoni sticks!)...rather than use the bathroom there I decided to go home. I didn't quite make it, I started to unload literally feet away from the toilet. Thankfully I caught all of it in my undies, kept it balanced between my legs as I sat on the pot...took em off and threw em in the dumpster. On went the fans and I aired out my apartment for awhile.

Oh yeah, one of the worst was a hike - 2 miles up and 2 miles down... I made the mistake of having two cliff bars and a sub sandwhich at the top... it wasn't long before I started looking for places to veer off and go. Unfortunately there were just enough people that it was near impossible. I ended running down the path, tripping and spraining my ankle..which I still feel today. (I didn't have coverage so I didn't get it treated) Thankfully I did make it to the outhouse at the bottom. My ankle is a constant reminder however.

Last edited by Artman; 05-23-07 at 03:45 AM.
Old 05-23-07, 05:37 AM
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If this thread doesn't bring joltaddict back, nothing will.

I miss jolt.

Last edited by Bandoman; 05-23-07 at 05:39 AM.
Old 05-23-07, 06:39 AM
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Originally Posted by tasha99
That's funny--I was going to accuse orderandlaw of the same thing.
maybe this is THEEK's 3rd username

Old 05-23-07, 07:14 AM
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Originally Posted by headrippa
On another occasian about 10 years ago, our family went out to a swish french restaraunt for my parents 25th anniversary. Since my dad was footing the bill I took upon myself to try all the gourmet beers and foods. After a few hours of creamy delights and unknown alcoholic drinks the old guts were rumbling.
The next morning when I awoke i realised I hadnt actually got them anything for the anniversary so I got dressed, threw down a coffee and drove into town.
Halfway in i lifted the left butcheek to smack the first one of the day out when dribble dribble dribble...fvck was the first thing to enter my head.
I quickly pulled a u-turn that would have made the stuntmen from Hollywood proud, deternmined to make it home without incident, i knew fairly soon though that my confidence in bowel restriction was to be my downfall.
** Now some of you might have been caught in this situation and you'll know when your trying to clasp your asscheeks together while driving, you lift off the seat and because of this you accelerate more, thus ensuring more panic. **
Anyways halfway home I knew I wasn't going to make it, when bingo...my local tennis club came into view, they had a public toilet block and hopefully it wasnt locked. So I chucked another bathurst inspired left turn and headed into the reserve in which the courts/toilet was located. Feeling relief that I had found a toilet only made the situation worse, there was no stopping this "le turd". About 100m from the toilet block and still doing a fair speed, I chucked the handbrake on and gave the wheel a short turn and skidded to a stop at right angles just near the dunny block, I'm pretty sure I exited the car before it had stopped, and hadn't noticed the taxi parked nearby.
I ran into the toilets untying my tracksuit pants but I knew i wasnt going to make it....what to do.. as soon as I turned the first corner of the toilet block I threw down my pants, bent over and well..yer you can imagine the rest.
As I half stood there in divine relief, removing my socks and undies into the nearest bin I hear a "You alright out there mate". I had forgotton about the taxi driver, he'd pulled in for a bog and read of the morning paper. "Yeah I am now thanks" I replied and got out of there, home and showered before he would have wiped and flushed. I shudder to think of the mess that greeted him upon opening his cubicle door.
Later that day I got that present and some new tracksuit pants as well.
This story is deadset true as well...now I know why people hate the French.
Man.... Burt Reynolds ain't got nothing on you!

BTW... what is a swish French restaurant?
Old 05-23-07, 07:47 AM
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Senior year of highschool, it was the first football game of the season... I had a pretty bad stomach flu a couple of days prior and still wasnt fully over it. But I wasnt going to miss playing. I was the starting right tackle and the was a sweep where I had to pull across and as I came around and hit the defensive end, BAM!!, total blow out. It was all down my back and legs. Best part was though, that block opened up a hole for our rb to hit an 80-yard TD run. However, the rest of the game pretty much sucked playing in poopy pants all night.
Old 05-23-07, 08:51 AM
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Originally Posted by The Bus
When I first visited the US (I was about 8) we went to some ski resort just to see snow, I guess. I got diarrhea pretty bad and had to relieve myself randomly on the highway. My dad took a picture of it.

Years later, once we lived here, we went to Delaware as my mom had a job interview up here. I got appendicitis. In my first or second day of recovery, my bowels gave out as I was trying to make it to the bathroom. A nurse I had a crush on had to clean it. I apologized a million times I think.

Since then, I've never pooped again.
See, I just KNEW you were full of it.
Old 05-23-07, 08:51 AM
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Someone once posted a story here of having a poop explosion but missing the toilet at a restaurant, coating the walls. He sent his girlfriend to buy him new clothes, and told the manager to stay out but to bring him cleaning supplies.

Me, I haven't any entertaining stories.
Old 05-23-07, 08:52 AM
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I was on an afternoon date with a girl I knew from high school. We had been dating for 2 or 3 weeks. We were with another couple that I also knew, but they were really her friends. We stopped for lunch, and I had tortellini in a creamy sauce. Big mistake.

We paid the bill and stood up to leave when it hit me. I had to really go #2. But how could I excuse myself? We were on our way out the door. The plan was to stop at the store for a few snacks then back to my girl's house to watch movies. By this point I am in unbelievable pain. Every bit of energy I have is being used to hold it in. If I had sneezed or been bumped into, I have no doubt I would've shit my pants. I couldn't even speak it hurt so bad.

We finally made it back to my girl's house and I went into the bathroom. I let out one gusher and stunk up the room. Unfortunately, the bathroom was very close to the living room so I didn't want to finish because it would've peeled the wallpaper. I spotted a large bottle of Pepto on the basin and chugged at least 5 times the recommended dose. That sealed me up pretty good for a while.

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