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Are you in an open marriage? Would you consider it?

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Are you in an open marriage? Would you consider it?

Old 02-21-07, 09:24 AM
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Are you in an open marriage? Would you consider it?

I found out last night that a friend of a friend of my wife is in a open marriage.

I first met this couple at a birthday party, and I though that the 20 something year old hanging out with them was either a close friend of theirs, or their daughter. The couple in question are in their late 40's, and apparently they guy's wife isn't all that thrilled with it, but her husband is in the merchant marines on the Great Lakes, and he insists on an open marriage. His wife doesn't sleep around with other guys, but she has reasoned it out in her head and agreed to an open marriage.

He's out to "sea" for 2-3 months at a time, and is a girl in every port type of guy.

I was floored because he looks like a tall hobbit, and the 20 something chick was damn hot.


I can't imagine being in an open marriage, personally.

You?
Old 02-21-07, 09:25 AM
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I was, once. It was so open that it actually had a door. I used it, and left.
Old 02-21-07, 09:44 AM
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Originally Posted by Iron Chef
and the 20 something chick was damn hot.
Pics????

Oh, and pee in her butt.
Old 02-21-07, 09:58 AM
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Nope.....
Old 02-21-07, 10:07 AM
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What's the use of getting married, if you're going to have an open relationship? That's stupid.
Old 02-21-07, 10:12 AM
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Nope...

but unfortunately...it seems "gay marriage" is synonymous with "open marriage."
Old 02-21-07, 10:19 AM
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That's the sort of thing that only works if everyone involved is cool with it. If the guy's wife isn't comfortable, I foresee stormy weather. If he ever brings a case of crabs home to her...

I know some people who are polyamorous, which is a little different from an open marriage. Everyone has to be satisfied with any new partners that enter the circle.
They seem to have a happy, if complicated, family life. I see it as a great solution to the fact that a straight man and a lesbian fell deeply in love with each other (just not "that" way) They are SUCH a fun bunch of people!

Also, a friend of mine let slip her poly relationship. She was checking out a local motorcycle rally, and said something about, "My husband and my boyfriend both ride..."
The biker she was talking to laughed, and said, "Well, if you can get away with it!"
She retorted, "It's not a matter of getting away with it, it's a matter of arranging it that way!"
Old 02-21-07, 10:27 AM
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I think open marriages where both spouses play with other people on their own must be teh suck. But an open marriage where both spouses play with other people together, now that's another story - I could see how this could work, since you are still sharing the experience.

But what do I know, I haven't been in a commited relationship in 5 years!
Old 02-21-07, 10:37 AM
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Originally Posted by digitalfreaknyc
Nope...

but unfortunately...it seems "gay marriage" is synonymous with "open marriage."
Could you elaborate on that? It makes no sense to me. I know gay couples who have been monogamous for years.
Old 02-21-07, 10:40 AM
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These sort of arrangements are inherently unstable and have ended very badly for everyone I know who has tried it. It reminds me of the swinger couples on HBO's Real Sex that sit around talking about how sophisticated and happy they are. I would love to see a brutally honest follow-up a few years later for the entire story.
Old 02-21-07, 10:43 AM
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No but hey, whatever works for ya.
Old 02-21-07, 10:44 AM
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I know people who have this...and so far it works for them. They only do it when together, though that probably work for me. I'm a pretty traditional guy, so I wouldn't do it with a marriage....but just casually dating, probably?

-p
Old 02-21-07, 11:02 AM
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I couldn't imagine doing it. I don't want any woman even eyeing my man for too long, let alone getting into bed with him. And I'm not interested in sleeping with any other man. Period.

That said, I do know a happily (?) married couple where the husband had.... problems.... performing... and the solution was to let the wife screw whoever she wanted as long as she did it safely. It was very strange to see her leave a party with one guy in one car, and her husband and kids leave in another. To each their own I guess.
Old 02-21-07, 11:05 AM
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It's not for me.

I could see some people being ok with it though, UNTIL, one of them contracts some nasty STD and then gives it to the other.

If you are going to behave like that, then why even bother to get married?
Old 02-21-07, 11:06 AM
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No, I couldn't see it.

Unless I was allowed to have sex with other women and my wife couldn't have sex with anyone else but me, that I would consider.

So not so much an open marriage. Call it an ajar marriage.
Old 02-21-07, 11:07 AM
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Originally Posted by Mrs. Danger
That's the sort of thing that only works if everyone involved is cool with it. If the guy's wife isn't comfortable, I foresee stormy weather. If he ever brings a case of crabs home to her...

I know some people who are polyamorous, which is a little different from an open marriage. Everyone has to be satisfied with any new partners that enter the circle.
They seem to have a happy, if complicated, family life. I see it as a great solution to the fact that a straight man and a lesbian fell deeply in love with each other (just not "that" way) They are SUCH a fun bunch of people!
Dysfunctional is more like it.
Old 02-21-07, 11:17 AM
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No, but I would definitely consider it. It looks comfy!

Old 02-21-07, 11:17 AM
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Originally Posted by Iron Chef
I found out last night that a friend of a friend of my wife is in a open marriage.

I first met this couple at a birthday party, and I though that the 20 something year old hanging out with them was either a close friend of theirs, or their daughter. The couple in question are in their late 40's, and apparently they guy's wife isn't all that thrilled with it, but her husband is in the merchant marines on the Great Lakes, and he insists on an open marriage. His wife doesn't sleep around with other guys, but she has reasoned it out in her head and agreed to an open marriage.

He's out to "sea" for 2-3 months at a time, and is a girl in every port type of guy.

I was floored because he looks like a tall hobbit, and the 20 something chick was damn hot.


I can't imagine being in an open marriage, personally.

You?
An "open marriage" is not a marriage.

And this woman could be at risk for all sorts of STDs. She should leave this guy. He sounds like scum to me.
Old 02-21-07, 11:19 AM
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Originally Posted by suziq999
And I'm not interested in sleeping with any other man. Period.
Welcome to my Ignore List.
Old 02-21-07, 11:22 AM
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Originally Posted by dork
Welcome to my Ignore List.

*cries*
Old 02-21-07, 11:24 AM
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Hah, I bet suziq is in tears right about now.
Old 02-21-07, 11:49 AM
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My two cents? Live and let live, but that lifestyle is not for me or mine.
Old 02-21-07, 11:51 AM
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Originally Posted by 4KRG
It's not for me.

I could see some people being ok with it though, UNTIL, one of them contracts some nasty STD and then gives it to the other.

If you are going to behave like that, then why even bother to get married?
For the wedding presents?

Sign me up for one of those "AJar Marriages!"

-p
Old 02-21-07, 11:53 AM
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I'd never do it because I don't like to share. The jealousy monster would rear its ugly head if I got roped into a polyamorous relationship.

A friend of mine is polyamorous, and it makes me uncomfortable to see him making out with all those different chicks (and guys) all the time, but whatever makes him happy.
Old 02-21-07, 11:54 AM
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Originally Posted by dork
Hah, I bet suziq is in tears right about now.

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