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Is this normal? (relationship with siblings when they are in serious relationship)

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Is this normal? (relationship with siblings when they are in serious relationship)

Old 03-20-06, 03:47 PM
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Is this normal? (relationship with siblings when they are in serious relationship)

I dont have much experience with this. I dont feel my brother changed nor did our relationship when he was dating his financee the last 7 years. I dont see him that much anymore but that is expected.

Yet with my sister, she has changed completely, I dont even recognize her. The last 6 months as she has started to date this guy its impossible to have a serious conversation with her anymore, she has adapted to this guys "frat boy" mentality and is basicly performing nonstop stand up comedy and racial jokes at get togethers.

He has a 7 year old son from a previous relationship and not only do they allow him go crazy as only a kid can, they actually egg him on alot times. Full roundhouse kicks and wrestling moves in the family room, occasion f-words with no regard to my dads collectables and such.
This contradicts her in nearly everyway yet when I mentioned this alittle bit in passing yesterday she said life is too short to be a serious old fuddyduddy. I guess maybe I am but I know I was not only one abit shocked by her behavior lately.

I wonder now if this is one of those facts of life I need to learn, siblings move on and your relationship weakens in time or if this is just a phase? I cant help thinking that after years of watching her ethicly question her environment with her co-working hairstylists pop out babies like hamsters with multiple men and heading very questionable lives she just finally has given up and decided to settle.
Old 03-20-06, 03:57 PM
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Originally Posted by madara
occasion f-words with no regard to my dads collectables
Old 03-20-06, 03:59 PM
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Originally Posted by madara
..her co-working hairstylists...
Maybe she just finally caught teh tacky from them?
Old 03-20-06, 04:02 PM
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I'm sorry you're having problems with your sis. I think that it's much easier for women to conform to a man's behavior, which it seems is what she's doing. Maybe she isn't spending enough time away from him for her to take a step back and realize that she has changed and is alienating her family, and possibly some friends, too? With any luck this guy won't be in her life for much longer and you'll have your old sister back. Just keep thinking good thoughts. ;-)
Old 03-20-06, 04:02 PM
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Is his name "Roy"?
Old 03-20-06, 04:03 PM
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Give her a good smack.
Old 03-20-06, 04:17 PM
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It happens, and usually more with women then men, but not always. I remember a girl I dated once was into hip-hop, rap, ok I guess she was a bit of what we like to call a "wigger". About 6 months after we broke up, I saw her at a store, and she all of the sudden was this goth chick down to blue hair (which is real funny because her hair was so blonde it was basically white, so that shit aint ever coming out). We shot the shit, and she told me who she was dating and lo and behold the reason for the change. Of course that didnt stop me from sleeping with her about 2 weeks later but thats another topic. Sometimes people just do stupid stuff. The guy doesnt seem to stable so I doubt it will last long so just hang in a be patient. These things tend to work themselves out.
Old 03-20-06, 04:35 PM
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While the kid may be *cute* now (doubt it but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt) that behavior will be absolutely appalling in a few years.
Old 03-20-06, 04:46 PM
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Wait, there are really people in this world that don't appreciate frat boy antics and racist jokes? Damn it all to hell.

-JP
Old 03-20-06, 04:47 PM
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I wonder now if this is one of those facts of life I need to learn, siblings move on and your relationship weakens in time or if this is just a phase?

I think sometimes relationships can weaken if a sibling gets attached to the wrong type of person and that person controls their world. This happened with my brother. His wife is very particular about the people she likes to hang with. Of course, she didn't like most of his friends nor family, and therefore, now he only hangs out with people she "approves" of . He's a completely different person because of her and the person I once knew is really gone forever. It's sad, but that's life. There's nothing you can really do about it. You can get angry and even talk to them about it, but if that person has changed, they have changed, and they will never be the same person you once knew. You will have to just move on and realize that it's not your problem, it's theirs.
Old 03-20-06, 05:01 PM
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Do they eat out at steakhouses often?
Old 03-20-06, 05:22 PM
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Thanks for great replies. I really was not sure what to do I just want my sister back but it seems like its sadly time to move on in way and be supportive if I can for her when she needs it. Maybe I'm abit more jealous of the bonehead then I think. I did put his name in a court gov website last week and got a colorful rapsheet which could be affecting my attitude towards him even more now. Hell of alot of mellowing out though if they going to eventually start acting 30 and not 11
Old 03-21-06, 04:11 AM
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I've known a lot of women to do this. Well, usually girls up to about 25 years old. After that, they tend to "grow some balls" and stick up for themselves.

It's doubtful this guy will be around long enough to really matter. Don't go burning any bridges with her.
Old 03-21-06, 04:29 AM
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Does she know any good black jokes?
Old 03-21-06, 09:03 AM
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Originally Posted by madara
occasion f-words with no regard to my dads collectables and such.
Be careful, those Pope trading cards aren't to be fu... messed with.

Originally Posted by FantasticVSDoom
I remember a girl I dated once was into hip-hop, rap, ok I guess she was a bit of what we like to call a "wigger".
I just want to clarify I'm not part of that "we".
Old 03-21-06, 09:34 AM
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As the youngest -- and only daughter -- in a family of five children, all my boyfriends had to 'run a gauntlet' when they came to our house. Usually, my brothers didn't like them for one reason or another. If your sis is really into this guy, nothing you say's going to make much difference one way or another. However, I hope she wises up and sees she's dating a cretin. Good luck.
Old 03-21-06, 09:57 AM
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My cousin became a camelon for every relationship she was in. She liked wrestling, then she liked hip/hop, now with her newest beau she's really into comic books.
Old 03-21-06, 10:13 AM
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Originally Posted by madara

I wonder now if this is one of those facts of life I need to learn, siblings move on and your relationship weakens in time or if this is just a phase? I cant help thinking that after years of watching her ethicly question her environment with her co-working hairstylists pop out babies like hamsters with multiple men and heading very questionable lives she just finally has given up and decided to settle.


dalvin?
Old 03-21-06, 10:59 AM
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All these threads are making me happy to be an only child.
Old 03-21-06, 11:04 AM
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Women tend to assume the personality of the man they are dating. All they want is sperm, so they change who they are to get it.
Old 03-21-06, 12:59 PM
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People change as they don't know what to do with themselves when they're in a relationship. A friend who I hardly see hooked up with this girl last year. He's completely changed and part of it is that he wants the attention.
Old 03-21-06, 01:46 PM
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Originally Posted by brizz


dalvin?
You're thinking danol. Or maybe Wooderson.

Dalvin is rich, famous, and dates hollywood actresses.
Old 03-21-06, 01:50 PM
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Originally Posted by madara
occasion f-words with no regard to my dads collectables and such.
"Please, no swearing in front of the collectables!"
Old 03-21-06, 01:55 PM
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I've never changed for a man, so it's not really a woman thing. It's a thing for anyone that doesn't know who they really are so they assume the identity of who they are with, maybe to please them so they aren't alone, or maybe because they don't know any better. I've seen men complete change and dump all of their friends so they could be with their significant other 24/7.

I've made some compromises with things, but I'm not going to fully change just because he likes camping or something.
Old 03-21-06, 03:01 PM
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yeah, we're gonna need to see some pics.

the girl and the collectibles.

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