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1-Liner This: ".5 Shrew Times Two" Edition

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1-Liner This: ".5 Shrew Times Two" Edition

Old 03-12-06, 05:05 PM
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1-Liner This: ".5 Shrew Times Two" Edition

I just ran over a shrew with the lawnmower. Cut clean in two. Naturally, I feel absolutely horrible about this.

It was really sad.



And naturally some 1-liners started popping into my head.

So, play Bond, Powers, Grissom, or whoever you want, and see what you can do.


"That's a bit of a... shrewd awakening."


"My bits and pieces cringe at the thought of the rodent's bits... and... pieces?"


"O, you are novices! 'tis a world to see,
How tame, when men and women are alone,
A meacock wretch can make the curstest shrew."
Old 03-12-06, 05:16 PM
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Moo-Shrew Pork anyone?

Old 03-12-06, 06:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Thor Simpson
I just ran over a shrew with the lawnmower. Cut clean in two. Naturally, I feel absolutely horrible about this.

It was really sad.


I don't think Shrew Dipping Pieces™ will be the next fast-food craze.
Old 03-12-06, 06:10 PM
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All you need is some Shrew Glue to make it good as New!
Old 03-12-06, 06:38 PM
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"Oh, not much lately.... what's shrew with you?"
Old 03-12-06, 06:48 PM
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SHREW YOU!

Old 03-12-06, 07:12 PM
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Originally Posted by OldDude
I don't think Shrew Dipping Pieces™ will be the next fast-food craze.
That's a very shrewd observation.
Old 03-12-06, 07:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Joe Molotov
That's a very shrewed maceration.
fixed...

















0/5 (throws cracker at screen)
Old 03-12-06, 08:24 PM
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They got a pepper bar!
Old 03-12-06, 08:31 PM
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Shrew you, I'm going home!!!!!!!!!
Old 03-12-06, 08:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Thor Simpson
I just ran over a shrew with the lawnmower.
Just because it's not moving does NOT mean it's now tamed.
Old 03-12-06, 11:10 PM
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You shrewed that up!
Old 03-12-06, 11:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Thor Simpson
I just ran over a shrew with the lawnmower. Cut clean in two.
The Twaining of the Shrew?
Old 03-12-06, 11:59 PM
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Well that was quite the shrude awakening.
Old 03-13-06, 01:58 AM
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You didn't cut it in two, but rather two weeks ago, that shrew happened to have angered Chuck Norris, who roundhouse kicked it with such force, it split in two and orbited the earth for two weeks, and just happened to land where you were mowing.
Old 03-13-06, 02:06 AM
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dudu dudu duh duh duh duh duh duh

dudu dudu duh duh duh duh

My Shrewrona



Old 03-13-06, 04:55 AM
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Old 03-13-06, 08:11 AM
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Originally Posted by El Scorcho
Well that was quite the shrude awakening.
Try reading the original post next time.
Old 03-13-06, 08:56 AM
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Thor, you didn't tell me your depressed. Is it the stress of the baby coming? Anyway, I don't like all this talk of shrewicide.
Old 03-13-06, 10:16 AM
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Oh innocent shrew
Fear not the steel blades of Thor
You are with Jesus
Old 03-13-06, 10:29 AM
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Early in the morning, when the shrew is on the grass...
Old 03-13-06, 11:03 AM
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Originally Posted by Charlie Goose
Oh innocent shrew
Fear not the steel blades of Thor
You are with Jesus
Sadly, he first decided to cross Mow'zis and was parted.
Old 03-13-06, 01:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Numanoid
Try reading the original post next time.
Don't try to constrict me inside your box of normalcy and convention!
Old 03-13-06, 01:35 PM
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"Da shroooo? He had toooo split."
Old 03-13-06, 01:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Numanoid
The Twaining of the Shrew?
The best so far

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