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eHarmony is like blackmail

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eHarmony is like blackmail

Old 11-15-05, 06:21 PM
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eHarmony is like blackmail

Mistake #1 - My buddy decided to see what sort of profiles were available on eHarmony thinking it was a normal dating site.

Mistake #2 - He checked the box that says "send me matches".

So the site apparently picked out all the women in the country it felt he was compatible with ... musta been damn near 75. It sent him (and each girl) an email annoucing the match. And then all of the girls decided to open a line of structured communication with him.

Now at this point, being too cheap to pay the $60/mo or whatever it is, he can't communicate with the girls. He either needs to put them on hold or close the match with some lame generic response or pay the big bucks to see pictures and play 20 questions. Or he can just ignore them.

Of course, the girls don't know he's too cheap to pay - so they can only assume that he must have seen their pictures and finds them totally unattractive. Why else would he immediately disregard an invite for communication?

I almost feel bad enough to give him the damn money for a month, just so he can excuse himself gracefully. Almost. But c'mon ... could the site make it any more awkward? Hell, what if one of these girls was his perfect match and it was blown because of the predatory way eHarmony assaults a person with matches?
Old 11-15-05, 06:25 PM
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I would assume people who use the site know how it works, and would disregard most non-responses as people who didn't pay the signup fee. Also what's predatory about it? They sent him matches, he must pay their fee to actually make the connection, isn't that kind of their business? What did he think they were?
Old 11-15-05, 06:32 PM
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I guess my biggest problem is the way they announce and flag your matches. It's like receiving an email and it stays in your inbox until you disposition it. Having to disposition every single match seems a bit pretentious. But then again, I'm not down with the whole internet dating thing - maybe this is the norm.
Old 11-15-05, 06:37 PM
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I'm not up with the internet dating scene either, but this system seems mildly obnoxious instead of scammy or blackmail.
Old 11-15-05, 06:41 PM
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They should send him fake cleavage shots, like Adult Friend Finder. Then he'd sign up.
Old 11-15-05, 06:44 PM
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Originally Posted by The Bus
They should send him fake cleavage shots, like Adult Friend Finder. Then he'd sign up.
I'm pretty sure the cleavage is real.
Old 11-15-05, 06:49 PM
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Originally Posted by WallyOPD
I'm not up with the internet dating scene either, but this system seems mildly obnoxious instead of scammy or blackmail.
Perhaps, but I only work in hyperbole.
Old 11-15-05, 07:57 PM
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It costs around $60 a month
Old 11-15-05, 07:58 PM
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$50 for one month. $100 for 3 months, up to $250 for a year.

That is some serious coin.
Old 11-15-05, 08:05 PM
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My sister was on eHarmony for a while. She said it is very much engineered toward protecting people's privacy (particularly women). Communication between parties is apparently done through the system and in several layers, so unless you choose to divulge the information yourself, the person on the other end of the line will never know who you are, where you live, what your real email address is, etc.

Did your friend just expect a list of girls' phone numbers or something?
Old 11-15-05, 08:27 PM
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I don't know call me old fashioned or stubborn or something but the whole internet dating thing just seems weird to me in general regardless of which site you use.
Old 11-15-05, 08:32 PM
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Originally Posted by kvrdave


$50 for one month. $100 for 3 months, up to $250 for a year.

That is some serious coin.
If you hold out they will send you deals: 3 months for the price of one. I joined thanks to that thread where a guy wasn't getting any matches and thought it was him. I've had a few bites... even some that sounded very down-to-earth nice women.... but I'm a cheap bastard and could never bring myself to pay
Old 11-15-05, 08:48 PM
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Originally Posted by kvrdave


$50 for one month. $100 for 3 months, up to $250 for a year.

That is some serious coin.
Seriously?!

Damn...that is pretty pricey.

-p
Old 11-16-05, 03:10 AM
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Agree E-harmony is too expensive, especially when you can't even get a clue of the type of women that are on there.. just because they tell me she's compatable on 299 levels of thier personality profile doesn't mean crap if she's 400 lbs and looks like a hockey player !
Old 11-16-05, 04:09 AM
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Originally Posted by greg9x
Agree E-harmony is too expensive, especially when you can't even get a clue of the type of women that are on there.. just because they tell me she's compatable on 299 levels of thier personality profile doesn't mean crap if she's 400 lbs and looks like a hockey player !
The thing people MUST remember, Eharmony is NOT your typical "trying to get you laid" Net dating sight. Its creator geared it towards trying to find "the best possible matches" for those who're serious about wanting a real relationship. If you're just tryin' to "hook up" then try another site.
Old 11-16-05, 04:39 AM
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For $50 a month, I'd rather post Craiglist ads. It's free, and I can ask my own questions.

eHarmony has a more honest mission, but still, you're talking about a computer database which matches the input, and spits out something called compatability.

Like to bath in tomato juice on a full moon? Great!
Like to watch Southpark naked on Friday nights? Cool!

But meet the person at a physical location, and talk to them, and even though the both of you have the same interests, it could be a disaster.

Besides, many of these sites seem to think compatability means liking the same things. Not true in real life. Sometimes a long relationship can last because your mate is the exact opposite of you.

Just a thought.
Old 11-16-05, 08:27 AM
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Originally Posted by kvrdave


$50 for one month. $100 for 3 months, up to $250 for a year.

That is some serious coin.
I think that's part of the point. eHarmony is designed for serious, professional, ADULTS...not horny kids trying to hook up for a night. If you can't afford it, it's unlikely anyone there would be too interested in meeting you.
Old 11-16-05, 01:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Giantrobo
If you're just tryin' to "hook up" then try another site.
Oh, do that too... Understand e-harmony promotes itself as more 'serious'... but how serious can they be if they ignore the physical attraction aspect which at least initially is 80% of an attraction... yeah you can see after you pay, but not at those prices, like to know what i'm getting into first !
Old 11-16-05, 02:20 PM
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Originally Posted by kvrdave


$50 for one month. $100 for 3 months, up to $250 for a year.

That is some serious coin.
Still much cheaper than paying cover at bars and other "real-life" meeting places.
Old 11-16-05, 03:00 PM
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Originally Posted by greg9x
Oh, do that too... Understand e-harmony promotes itself as more 'serious'... but how serious can they be if they ignore the physical attraction aspect which at least initially is 80% of an attraction... yeah you can see after you pay, but not at those prices, like to know what i'm getting into first !

Then don't use eharmony. There's plenty of "get laid only" sites you can use.

What they're trying to do is get people to know each other 1st before they go crazy with the physical?
Old 11-16-05, 05:29 PM
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[QUOTE=BigPete]
Of course, the girls don't know he's too cheap to pay - so they can only assume that he must have seen their pictures and finds them totally unattractive. Why else would he immediately disregard an invite for communication?
QUOTE]

They have a similar set up on the yahoo personals. I was too cheap to pay when I checked it out a few months ago & I didn't feel bad about not carrying on convos with the people. It's not like you really know them or anything.

That lying about their looks thing is done by guys too. A few years back I agreed to see this guy's band perform after talking to him on a dating site. When I met him in person he was shorter than me & I'm 5'4" 1/2.
Old 11-16-05, 05:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Giantrobo
There's plenty of "get laid only" sites you can use.
Links! Damn you sir, post LINKS!

D
Old 11-16-05, 06:22 PM
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My old roommate is engaged to a chick he met on eharmony.
Old 11-16-05, 06:26 PM
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She might not be a chick. Could be a rooster.
Old 11-16-05, 11:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Derrich
Links! Damn you sir, post LINKS!

D


Dude, if I had them do you think I'd be wasting my time here?

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