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Jessica and Nick - It's over!

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Jessica and Nick - It's over!

Old 10-05-05, 12:01 PM
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Jessica and Nick - It's over!



(source: gawker.com)
The image probably won’t be on the newsstands until 10 A.M. or so, but we don’t see why you should wait for the news: Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, America’s Newlyweds, have called it quits. For those of you so self-loathing as to closely follow these things, you’ll recall that in May, E! online reported that the couple had filed for divorce, only to mysteriously retract the story an hour later. But you knew, right then, that this was coming, didn’t you?

The couple is waiting to make an official announcement later in the month (at the appropriate career opportunity, we’re sure), but according to Us Weekly’s scoop — kept so under wraps that employees were not allowed to receive their advance issues yesterday, presumably for fear that People might rape and pillage the story — the marriage has been dead for some time. Well, duh.

The article has a laundry list of contributions to the break-up (mostly blamed on Jessica), including creepy-dad Joe Simpson, Jessica’s “diva” behavior, and her fondness for whiskey on the rocks. One of those ubiquitous sources close to the couple says, “Jessica’s the problem. She’s not the girl America fell in love with anymore.” Oh, young America, were you ever really in love with her? Or were you just lusting? C’mon, be honest.

And now, a moment of silence, please, so that we might hear the sound of every magazine editor in town simultaneously shitting themselves.
Old 10-05-05, 12:06 PM
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but the TV show was so good
Old 10-05-05, 12:08 PM
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They were our generation's Hume Cronyn and Jessica Tandy, but with bigger tits.
Old 10-05-05, 12:10 PM
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Old 10-05-05, 12:10 PM
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Joe Simpson likes to look longingly at his daughters in a child molester sort of way. I don't see why that would be creepy.
Old 10-05-05, 12:11 PM
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So what makes US magazine any more reliable then the Enquirer?
Old 10-05-05, 12:11 PM
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If you ever watched the TV show, it was pretty obvious this was inevitable. Jessica's a dipshit -- hell, she had an advertising campaign built around that fact. The appeal of having sex with her probably got old really quick when every time she opened her mouth Nick lost IQ points by just listening.
Old 10-05-05, 12:16 PM
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Some of you watched the show?
Old 10-05-05, 12:17 PM
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OMG!!!




Paris steals Mary-Kate's boyfriend!!!
Old 10-05-05, 12:21 PM
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It's actually quite distressing how Hollywood couples never seem to stay together anymore. If we didn't have the impending Cruise/Holmes marriage to reassure us of the possibility of eternal love, I don't know what I'd do.
Old 10-05-05, 12:28 PM
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And you people wonder why I hate serious dork.
Old 10-05-05, 12:30 PM
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Originally Posted by Breakfast with Girls
If you ever watched the TV show, it was pretty obvious this was inevitable. Jessica's a dipshit -- hell, she had an advertising campaign built around that fact. The appeal of having sex with her probably got old really quick when every time she opened her mouth Nick lost IQ points by just listening.

The dumb thing is all an act. It sold the show.
Old 10-05-05, 12:39 PM
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Nice.. now I can move in
Old 10-05-05, 12:39 PM
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I agree with Mopower. Jessica is a certified genius! She's brilliant! She holds several graduate degrees in Astrophysics! She invented the Koosh Ball™! All hail Jessica!
Old 10-05-05, 12:40 PM
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Originally Posted by j123vt_99
Nice.. now I can move in
How do you know Nick isn't already taken?
Old 10-05-05, 12:50 PM
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Originally Posted by X
How do you know Nick isn't already taken?


5/5
Old 10-05-05, 01:26 PM
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Old 10-05-05, 01:41 PM
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dont believe it...
Old 10-05-05, 01:49 PM
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Now hopefully in Dukes 2, she'll wear real Daisy Dukes, all up her butt and all.
Old 10-05-05, 02:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Mopower
The dumb thing is all an act. It sold the show.
"There shee goes (there she goes)...There she goes againnn"
Old 10-05-05, 02:24 PM
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This is just a set-up for MTV in a couple of years so they can hit the airwaves w/ "Nick & Jessica - The Second Time Around."




Eh, I got nothing.
Old 10-05-05, 02:37 PM
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Papa Joe is denying it !!
Old 10-05-05, 02:40 PM
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Originally Posted by kvrdave
Some of you watched the show?

Yeah? And your point?

Actually the first season was pretty good. Then they got full of themselves and started 'acting' out their lives and it became boring.

Chris
Old 10-05-05, 03:08 PM
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US is not a very reliable magazine, and I think they will stay together. However, I only think such because I believe Joe will make them do so whether they want to or not.
Old 10-05-05, 03:41 PM
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at least she got her body in top shape for single life.

time to stalk.

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