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Come on Everybuddy! Post your favorite Words of Wisdom!

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Come on Everybuddy! Post your favorite Words of Wisdom!

Old 02-14-05, 02:20 PM
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Come on Everybuddy! Post your favorite Words of Wisdom!

I heard this one somewhere along the roads (and or gutters) of my life:

There was this businessman that was late for some "Big Meeting" and he ran over something that caused him to have a flat tire. So, he started cussin' & yellin' all sorts of obscenities and pulled over next to a fenced-in grass field which turned out to be a playground at a mental institution. It was playtime for the inmates, and there were some of them wandering around getting sunshine or whatnot.

The businessman dude reluctantly started to change the tire, but after he removed the lug nuts and put them on the ground, he noticed that he had dirt & grease all over his pants and so he threw the lug wrench down and it hit the lug nuts, and they all rolled right into the gutter!


He was really angry now, and was actually kicking the car and flailing his arms & yellin' and screaming and said, "OH GREAT! NOW WHAT THE HELL AM I GONNA DO???", and one of the inmates that was watching the whole event unravel said through the fence, "Take one lug nut off of each tire", and the business dude said, "WT...", and well, did what he said and that was just enough to secure the spare and he drove off to his meeting!

Now I'm not so sure just what wisdom to take from this one, apart from the fact that if you EVER get a flat tire, drive to a mental institution POST HASTE!

...and NO. I wasn't the guy in the hospital...

(Actually, I'm not that smart... )


Last edited by The Edit King; 02-15-05 at 11:43 AM.
Old 02-14-05, 02:22 PM
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Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.

Old 02-14-05, 02:24 PM
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It takes a certain kind of class to walk around without pants on... if you know how to wear your ass unpanted.
Old 02-14-05, 02:24 PM
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I just read this this morning and I thought it was a cynical yet very wise observation...

"...an older man telling that he didn't think life was ruled by love, or reason, or money, or the pursuit of happiness -- but by fear. This smart-but cynical guy's position was that most people's actions are motivated by fear of being hungry, fear of being hurt, fear of being alone, fear of being robbed, etc,. and that people don't make choices based on hope that something good will happen, but in fear that something bad will happen."

Old 02-14-05, 02:25 PM
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All-purpose words of wisdom, right here in my sig.
Old 02-14-05, 02:28 PM
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Keep your eyes to the grindstone.
Old 02-14-05, 02:28 PM
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"In the garden, growth has it seasons. First comes spring and summer, but then we have fall and winter. And then we get spring and summer again." - Chauncey
Old 02-14-05, 02:29 PM
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Old 02-14-05, 02:30 PM
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My wife's grandfather always said not to worry about small stuff and "just keep it between the side ditches."
Old 02-14-05, 02:30 PM
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To write without purpose is cast one's self into a raging river, futilely hoping to grasp one of the few handholds emerging from the weathered rocks.
Old 02-14-05, 02:31 PM
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I've always been a guy who believes in the old 'It's better to regret something you did, then something you didn't do'.

I've also always been a guy who has lots of bills, pissed off ex-girlfriends, and feet sore from running.
Old 02-14-05, 02:32 PM
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"Dry hair is for squids!"
Old 02-14-05, 02:37 PM
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"Time flies like the wind; fruit flies like bananas".
Old 02-14-05, 02:42 PM
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Me Boss, You Not!
Old 02-14-05, 02:43 PM
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no matter where you go, there you are.
Old 02-14-05, 02:46 PM
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"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
Old 02-14-05, 02:57 PM
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I have this fortune posted up in my cubicle:

"People who expect nothing will never be disappointed."
Old 02-14-05, 03:31 PM
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Fuck em if they can't take a joke.

Duct it.

It is better to be thought a fool, then open you mouth and remove all doubt.
Old 02-14-05, 04:29 PM
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The difference between a rich person and a poor person:

A rich person saves first, then spends what is left over.
A poor person spends first, then saves what is left over.
Old 02-14-05, 05:04 PM
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If at first you don't succeed, try, try and try again. Then give up. There's no use being a damned fool about it.
W. C. Fields

Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can put off for good.
Mark Twain (paraphrase)
Old 02-14-05, 05:12 PM
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Only one I that ever enters my head. "Make good choices." Satisfy this and almost everything else falls into place quite nicely.
Old 02-14-05, 05:39 PM
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- "If you try, you may fail . . . if you don't, you already have."
- "If you're going to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now."
- "Question authority, but raise your hand first."

Not So Much:
- "Always forgive your enemies . . . nothing annoys them so much."
- "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do, you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes."

Last edited by talemyn; 02-14-05 at 05:43 PM.
Old 02-14-05, 05:41 PM
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Always get the money up front.
Old 02-14-05, 05:56 PM
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Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas
the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience
I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand
the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years
you?l look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can? grasp now how
much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.
You?e not as fat as you imagine.

Don? worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying
is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your
worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.


Don? be reckless with other people? hearts, don? put up with people who
are reckless with yours.


Don? waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you?e ahead, sometimes you?e behind
the race is long, and in the end, it? only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing
this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.


Don? feel guilty if you don? know what you want to do with your life
the most interesting people I know didn? know at 22 what they wanted to do with
their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds know still don?.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you?l miss them when they?e gone.

Maybe you?l marry, maybe you won?, maybe you?l have children,
maybe you won?, maybe you?l divorce at 40, maybe you?l dance the funky chicken
on your 75th wedding anniversary.
What ever you do, don? congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either
your choices are half chance, so are everybody else?. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can don? be afraid of it, or what other people think of it,
it? the greatest instrument you?l ever own..

Dance?ven if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don? follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they?l be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and
the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get,
the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard;
live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.


Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander,
you too will get old, and when you do you?l fantasize that when you were
young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their

Respect your elders.

Don? expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don? mess too much with your hair, or by the time it? 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past
from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling
it for more than it? worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen...

Last edited by Green Jello; 02-14-05 at 05:59 PM.
Old 02-14-05, 05:56 PM
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The sun can't shine on the same dog's ass every day.

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