so waitaminnit...this isn't a pro-Ashlee thread...?

:hscratch: :(

They don't do a thing for me either.


And i dont think six pages of "she sux" qualifies as being pro-ashlee.

I managed to get her whole 'performance' in glorious HDTV. Sweet, sweet schadenfreude. I could never feel even remotely sorry for her. Oh yeah, I'm sorry she's sold 2.5 million albums for being a talentless, bad dressing, horrible 'dancing' hack :rolleyes: Especially after the SNL fuck-up when she blamed her band members. Maybe that's because it looked like it was taking every ounce of self-control they possessed to not piss themselves laughing after she fled the stage.

She deserves every slam she gets, but I don't think this will sink her unfortunately. I don't think 12 year olds care if she can actually sing and/or dance and/or dress herself so she doesn't look like complete shit.

While I agree with pretty much everything that's been said regarding her (lack of) talent, I have to disagree with whoever said she was fat and/or ugly.

Ashlee has a mediocre voice that obviously cannot handle the strain of live performance. In fact, I would surmise that her album was probably recorded one song at a time, and each song probably took a week or two to complete to give her voice as much of a rest as possible. And what they couldn't get to come out sounding good naturally they probably enhanced digitally. But by way of looks...while it is true that her sister has a better voice (which also isn't saying that much), I'd say their looks are about equal. They both have killer bodies, but I'd say they got different facial features from different parts of the family. For my personal tastes, I'd even say that Ashlee has the cuter face. But fat? Not hardly. I'll take a chick with meat on her bones over an Olsen-rexic any time.

Ashlee is fat. There's quite a broad spectrum between Ashlee and Olsen-rexic. Someone posted a link to loads of pics of her pointing out her flab and bulges. She's not obese or anything, but she's no waif and I wouldn't ever use the words 'skinny' or 'slender' to describe her. As for ugly - if that's what you like, then go for it. I find her to be slightly below average looking and wouldn't date her for anything other than her money.

What would Simon say about here "singing"/"dancing?

How are my sentiments twords her any different from yours?
All I stated is that she's getting entirely too much press for her pathetic attempts or lackthereof. And this thread and Ashlee in general have nothing to do with the subject of the forum.

http://www.siobhan.ca/punchballs.gif

On the MJ morning show this morning, MJ said he wants everyone to sign this petition:

http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_pe...ed.cgi?StopAsh

wow - almost 100k sigs.

Geoff's "targeted marketing" strikes again! :lol:

http://www.rt-partner.com/testjoe/ashlee.jpg

That petition already has over 111k+ signatures. Wow....

over 112k. And only 30 minutes after Chmiel posted. Those are impressive numbers. There are going to be more people sign this than bought her album. :lol:

I suppose I already know the answer [guys will stick anything with a hole] but, seriously, how could you look at that and say "I'd hit it" [with anything other than a baseball bat]? I mean, Jessica [facial contortions, oversinging and all] I could understand...but this hag...ugh.

She's on the current "Cosmo"...

http://a820.g.akamai.net/f/820/822/1...alenow0205.jpg

When I saw the mag on the shelf last night at the store I thought... "what a pickle shaped nose..."

I know it's Star magazine, but...

http://www.starmagazine.com/news/61560

For those who want to see her show, it was on today...enjoy...with lots of booze.

Holy shit that's a lot of people!!! Nice :up:

Did she talk about there being a lot of "haters" in the world?

Specifically, 153,102 of 'em...

whats killin me is that she's getting more media time. Magazine covers and her damn "songs" on tv ads. blah!

So...

The "reflux"....

That's just a nice way of saying she's bulimic, no?

My friend in med school mentioned that at the time of the SNL thing. He said that would be the only conceivable reason for someone her age to have acid refulx.

This editorial is in The Nashville Scene this week :)
***************
The Ryman Test

Alison Krauss, Vince Gill, Ricky Skaggs, George Jones, Roy Acuff, Earl Scruggs, Elvis Costello, James Brown, Ashlee Simpson.


As they say on Sesame Street, one of these is not like the others.

Come April, Ms. Simpson will grace the stage of the Ryman, the Mother Church of Country Music, joining a long list of legendary performers whose talents and impacts on their genres are without dispute. Within the Scene offices, anyway, this upcoming show is as divisive a pop culture issue as the war in Iraq is a geopolitical one. A segment of us view anti-Simpson sentiment as "rockist"—that is, biased toward the old model of the solitary, "for the ages" artist over fabricated pop acts. Others of us simply believe that Simpson's talents aren't in the same league with these Ryman royalty—that, in fact, her abilities are inversely proportionate to her record sales. What's more, it could be argued that she is but a marketing creation whose live performances are notoriously flawed, screechy and, as her Saturday Night Live debacle and subsequent explanations made clear, never her fault. (Remember, she first blamed the fiasco on her band, then blamed acid reflux.)

Ultimately, though, it's not Simpson's lip-synching or contrived success that are so problematic. Lots of performers in many different musical genres have used various devices as crutches for live performances. The country stars who graced the Ryman stage back in the day lip-synched their records in TV appearances many times. But they at least did it well. Simpson flubbed her one meager task as a singer—to follow a pre-recorded vocal track and muster some feeling and enthusiasm. If she had gone with the moment, doing something spontaneous and goofy and infectious (or even remotely musical), the audience would've been in the palm of her hand. It would have been a forever moment, like Elvis Costello stopping his late-'70s SNL appearance dead to count off his anti-industry anthem "Radio Radio." He was banned "for life" from the show back then; now the clip is on every SNL anniversary special.

But what did Simpson do instead? She got flustered, did what looked like a few steps of her choreographed routine—then quit. How many groups would give their eyeteeth for those three minutes of airtime? And lest we sound "rockist," that includes boy bands and girl bands that focus more on dance routines than singing, but still pull off amazing things. Hated acts like the Spice Girls and Britney Spears have recorded fake, plastic, inauthentic, cheesy three-minute pop songs that are damn near miraculous. When it came time to perform them live—fudged vocals, studio tricks and all—they could do so with style, energy and flair. In other words, they still had something to bring to the party.

There is indeed a tidal shift in the way music is made, received and even sold, which is what those who label the anti-Simpson view as "rockist" want us to accept. We buy that. Just like the next guy, we can appreciate a good mash-up, which requires nothing more than a kid in a basement using software to merge two different songs.

But good music requires one more thing: talent. There are good mash-ups and bad mash-ups that simply fail on their own terms, just like there are good performers and bad ones who fail on their own terms. Shouldn't we still expect artists to excel at the aims they set for themselves? That's our problem with Ashlee Simpson and the SNL clip. We don't mind seeing the man behind the curtain, but Jesus, let us at least see a little Wizard of Oz first. If Simpson can't deliver on a carefully planned TV appearance, what would she give us at the Ryman?

We'll soon see. The Mother Church is like truth serum for talent.

Alison Krauss, Vince Gill, Ricky Skaggs, George Jones, Roy Acuff, Earl Scruggs, Elvis Costello, James Brown, Ashlee Simpson.

This reads like one of those "one of these things is not like the others" games from Sesame Street. In this case, musicians.

rotfl rotfl rotfl

Did you not read the very next sentence of that article?