I just watched Bruce McDonald's Roadkill, which is a pretty decent Canadian road movie. Some of the dialogue really pops, like this bit here...

Ramona: Are you really a serial killer?

Russel: Well, I’ve never really killed anyone before, but that’s what I’m shooting for. That’s my ambition. I know it’s a hard profession, and it’s a competitive field and getting tougher every year. You have to kill about 20 people now before you’re taken seriously, but let’s face it, what other options do I have? There’s not a lot of opportunities up here for social mobility. I mean, you can either become a hockey player or take up a life of crime. I have weak ankles, so there you go.

Feel free to share your faves.

Joe Pesci: Fuck me? FUCK ME? You mudder fucker, fuck my mother!

no fucking shit, lady! do i sound like i'm ordering a pizza?

One of my all time favorite lines. I also enjoy “Fine, report me! Come the fuck down here and arrest me!”


Not to pull the easy dialogue card with a Tarantino quote but seeing the Pulp Fiction “Gold Watch” dialogue written out on the page makes me appreciate Christopher Walken’s performance all the more. It’s literally an entire single spaced page of non-stop dialogue.

"Heads...Heads..."

"I'm what counts out here, not your fuckin' country clubs, or your fuckin' TV shows. And what the fuck are you doing on TV anyhow? You know I get calls from back home every fuckin' day? They think you went batshit!"

"I'm only on TV because I gotta be able to hang around the casino, you know that, come on."

"You could've had the food and beverage job without going on television! You WANTED to go on TV!"

"Yeah, I did want to go on TV, that way I have a forum, I can fight back, I'm known."

"You're making a big fuckin' spectacle outta yourself!"

Mr. Pink: "Right now, this guy (Mr. Blonde)
is the only one I completely trust. He's too homicidal to be with the cops.
Mr. White: "You takin' his side?"

Mr. Pink: "Fuck sides, man!
What we need here is solidarity!
Somebody's stickin' a red-hot poker
up our ass, and I want to know who's name is on the handle.
Fuck. Look, I know
I'm no piece of shit.
(to Mr. White) I'm pretty sure you're okay, (to Mr. Blonde) and I'm
fuckin' positive you're on the level."

no, best line...

So many great ones from Heat:

And my favorite bit of dialogue from Glengarry Glen Ross:


Always tempted to say "Fuck you, that's my name" when someone asks...

Oh, Glengarry Glen Ross is a cornucopia of great dialogue.

"We pitched those cocksuckers Baywater! They couldn't afford that. They couldn't afford a fuckin' toaster. They're broke. Deadbeats!"

And the one I'm always saying to myself:

"Criminals come and they, they steal the phones."

Willy: What the hell you need ball bearings for?

Fletch: Awww, come on guys, it's so simple. Maybe you need a refresher course. ... It's all ball bearings nowadays. Now you prepare that Fetzer valve with some 3-in-1 oil and some gauze pads. And I'm gonna need 'bout ten quarts of anti-freeze, preferably Prestone. No, no make that Quaker State.

John Wayne was a ***...I installed two-way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood, and he come to the door in a dress.

From WHITE HEAT (1949)

Parker: "You're not gonna shoot me in cold blood, are you?"
Jarrett: "Nah, I'll let ya warm up a little."

From DESTRY RIDES AGAIN (1939)

Janice Tyndall: Please don't mind my brother, Mr. Destry. He's always threatening to blow people's heads off.

Tom Destry Jr.: I had - I had a friend once. His name was Stubbs. He was always going around threatening to blow people's heads off. One day a fella came along and took him up on it.

Jack Tyndall: Well?

Tom Destry Jr.: Well, folks say that now Stubbs' forehead is holding up the prettiest tombstone in Greenlawn Cemetery.

From Wolf:

"You know, I think I understand what you're like now. You're very beautiful, and you think men are only interested in you because you're beautiful. But you want them to be interested in you because you're you. Problem is, besides from all that beauty you're not very interesting. You're rude, you're hostile. You're sullen, you're withdrawn. I know, you want someone to look past all that at the real person underneath. But the only reason that anyone would bother to look past all that is because you're beautiful."

A Touch of Evil.

Quinlan: Our friend Vargas has some very special ideas about police procedure. He seems to think it don't matter whether killers hang or not, so long as we obey the fine print.
Vargas: Captain, I don't think a policeman should work like a dog catcher in putting criminals behind bars. No! In any free country, a policeman is supposed to enforce the law, and the law protects the guilty as well as the innocent.
Quinlan: Our job is tough enough.
Vargas: It's supposed to be. It has to be tough. A policeman's job is only easy in a police state. That's the whole point, Captain - who's the boss, the cop or the law?

Plan 9 From Outer Space

"Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!"

I like this line partly because I agree with the sentiment. I am also amused by the fact that the alien speaking plans to cow Earth into submission by raising the dead. It's a plan so flimsy and hairbrained that the local Sheriff's office stops it. (and they're not so bright, either)

Some favorites:

The Crow:
Albrecht: "You move and you're dead."
Eric: "And I say I'm dead...and I move."

Clue:
Mrs. White: He threatened to kill me in public.
Miss Scarlet: Why would he want to kill you in public?
Wadsworth: I think she meant he threatened, in public, to kill her.

Parenthood:
Tod: You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.

From Days of Thunder:

Harry: I want you to go back out on that track and hit the pace car.

Cole: Hit the pace car?

Harry: Hit the pace car!

Cole: What for?

Harry: Because you hit every other goddamn thing out there. I want you to be perfect.

-Fuck you!!! THATS my name.

-It's funny being inside, innit? 'Cause when you are inside, you're still actually outside, aren't ya? And then you can say, when you're outside, you're inside, because you're always inside your head.

-What is this? A CENTER FOR ANTS. What? How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can't even fit inside the building. Derek its just a.... I DON'T WANNA HEAR YOUR EXCUSES. The center has to be at least........ 3 times bigger than this.

Speaking of Plan 9, the movie is full of gems:

Not sure how this one hasn't been mentioned yet...

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die."

Ugh. Brings it all back. I loved Rutger so much and glad I have most of his in my collection...

" I had sponsors in from all over the coast and I'm hugging, and holding hands, and praying for a good showin'. And what do we do? We end up looking like a monkey fucking a football out there!"

I use that Monkey line all the time.

From Stir of Echoes:

Lisa (to her sister Maggie): I'm not shocked that there's another woman. Of course, the fact that she's dead gives one pause.