I turned off all my emotions in my twenties. It wasn't healthy, but I did it.

I think empathy is at least somewhat of a decision - or at least how you let it affect you. Take the example of the homeless people on the way to work or Nick's example of soldiers in the field. Or how about child care case workers? I can't understand how someone could be a social worker, so heartbreaking. My sister used to work with abused wives and children. Part of me doesn't understand how she could have had a job like that and not come home crying. You compartmentalize.

On a personal note, I used to work in news. I got to a point where the stories I'd have to read and edit were nothing more than patterns of words. I could read a tragic story and be consumed with the placement of a comma. The content didn't move me because it was work. It didn't mean I was incapable of feeling but that I had different responsibilities.

So, yes, I think empathy is to some degree a decision.

All very interesting. In Dooku's homelessness example, he's turning off empathy because he can't face the alternative. In Nick's examples, turning off empathy causes a life of mental health issues, and who knows what the effects were in his personal example, but the implications probably tend negative. In clockwork's example, social worker MUST turn it off in order to continue helping people.

I used to work in news too as a photographer. I could look at the most horrific scenes through my camera lens without letting it affect me. It was, after all, my job. But it took a big toll on me and I only lasted two years and, as with the fire department and the police department, none of us wanted to be at the tragedy. Choosing to watch Cosby is how you spend your leisure time - I can't imagine getting any joy out of watching a serial rapist make jokes. It has nothing to do with "empathy".

The funny thing is that for many years you did get joy out of watching a serial rapist make jokes.

So, you're saying wilful ignorance is the way to go then, huh?

Well, all I can do is react to what I know. And I have no way of knowing someone's personal life until I find out. I could be friends with a serial rapist too and if I found out that's what they were, I wouldn't be friends with them anymore. I wouldn't go "oh, but they are so fun!".

Same with Cosby

I don’t know about the actual Cosby Show, but I just watched the Simpsons episode with the Cosby clip about Jazz and Rap music. It was still funny. Is that allowed?

You are more or less saying you can choose to ignore it, but it lingers until it creeps up to you again. Dooku is saying two things which rub me the wrong way and I think the setting thing is where is house of cards collapses. On the one hand, he tells us, his suspension of disbelief alows him to ignore the the fact that he is watching a serial rapist, he just sees Cliff Huxtable on the other hand he says he isn't bothered by the victims because he doesn't know them. Besides the fact the second thing is pretty douchy, why bring up the thought at all, if he doesn't even see a rapist when he sees Cosby.
His whole argument is way of showing us, he is above all things. It's a show, we are his audience. I hope I'm strong enough from here on out, to not indulge, but I have a hard time not calling out bullshit, when I see it. I guess being a smart-arse is one of my flaws.

You see, that's why I think you're just trolling. You don't tend to address actual things that are said; you just decide to make up things. Did I say anything about being friends with rapists? No, I didn't. Did I say Cosby would be a really fun guy to hang with? No, I didn't. I said he was funny. I can also say that some of the most funniest people I've met were assholes and not fun at all to be with.

You are also conflating being able to find something unrelated funny with actually supporting the rapist. Think about Ted Bundy. Here's a serial killer that people who knew him tended to say what a charming person he was. They didn't say that they used to find him charming but now that they know he was actually a killer they have reconsidered their position and no longer find charm. These people who called him charming weren't trying to give him a pass on his actions; they were merely making observations.

The simple fact is you found a serial rapist hysterical. You can pout about it now and try to act above it all, but when it's all said and done, your argument fails because you laughed, whether you knew what he was or not.

Now if you want to discuss supporting Cosby, whether it be financially by buying merchandise or by another means, that's something else, but I don't in any way think finding an anecdote funny is a sign that someone is down with rape.

No, you are the one who's saying it creeps up on you again. I don't tend to have lingering thoughts about homeless people I drive past. I don't have PTSD from my news days. My sister doesn't have any lingering effects from her job.

Oh for fuck's sake - I KNOW Cosby fooled me. I listened to a whole podcast series about a family who found out their dad was a serial killer. Their relationship with him changed and caused them to rethink their lives. Because of course it did. At some point you have to decide how you're going forward with who you are supporting when new information comes up.

I didn't know Cosby was a rapist when I laughed at his stuff before. I know he's a rapist now. So I'm not going to laugh at the same things I found funny before. Part of why he was funny was his bumbling dad-ness. Now he's a bumbling dad who drugs and rapes women. It's not a hard stretch to understand why I wouldn't enjoy him anymore.

You see, you're still essentially linking laughing at old jokes with "who you are supporting." For fuck's sake, they are two different things!

*sigh* This all started with myself and others saying we would struggle watching his old material NOW. Sure, it's not physically handing him dollars but if I watch a Cosby show rerun that's giving money to some advertisers which is probably getting back to him in some way as residuals, even if it's just pennies. And that's support.

And I no longer find his material funny - I'm not sure why it matters that I used to. If you loved a guy on social media because he was a great dog trainer and then you find out he runs a dogfighting ring, why is it weird to not like him as a dog trainer anymore? Even if he was really good?

I am struggling to find an analogy because the actual situation (former beloved comedian is discovered to be serial rapist, no longer found funny) doesn't actually need one.

How about "Beloved BBC children's show host revealed to have been a frequent child molester over three decades"? Nobody is ever going to want to watch Jimmy Saville reruns.

I hadn’t heard of that dude until recently but some of the videos I saw of him should have set off red flags a long time ago. Adults must have had blinders on around that creep.

This is a great example (and by great I mean holy shit that guy) - watching Saville now knowing what we do completely affects the enjoyment of his show, even if you used to like it as a kid.

It was worse than blinders. People around him convinced themselves it was nothing and covered for him, and kept covering for him for year after year. Police ignored complaints from children. His long list of crimes didn't come out until he was dead, and the behavior of adults while he was alive had been so egregious that the BBC and the police made major reforms.

^ Thanks. I didn’t know the story around that guy.

I don't want to say you have PTSD, but telling you or your sister have no lingering thoughts is a pretty stupid thing to say, if they are lingering in your subconscious. Regarding your sister I would assume she has a lot of empathy, because she became a social worker to begin with.
I don't lie awake and think about the tragic life of a homeless person, but when I see a homeless person, I don't say to myself, how impressive it is to fit so much stuff into one shopping cart and that's what Dooku is claiming, total ignorance and that I don't buy.

Anyhoo, has anyone watched any of the Catch And Kill : The Podcast Tapes on HBO? I just watched the first episode. Thought it was interesting and well done, typical of most HBO Documentary Series.

Thanks for the armchair psychological diagnosis. I have every bit of confidence that random forum guy knows the emotional state of myself and my sister better than we ourselves do. I had no idea we were emotionally crippled due to lingering feelings from our past jobs. Now we know!

And that wasn't anywhere near what Dooku said. You and Draven have loved saying that people who disagree with you are flexing or trying to be cool, but I think the way you two bend or ignore what people say shows that's what you're trying to do.

I'm going to do my best to bow out of this. Time to quit feeding the trolls and start dealing with this emotional trauma that has been unearthed by random forum guy. Maybe we will one day overcome these emotional scars. Maybe.
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To be clear, I said bragging about being able to laugh at the past work of a serial rapist was a WEIRD flex, not a cool one.

Random forum guy explicitly said, he doesn't know your emotional state, he just mocked your reasoning, not the actual fact. Just to be clear.

Looks like Chris Noth is endanger of getting “cancelled”

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/tv...lt-1235063596/

The link details the alleged encounters from years ago from the two anonymous women.

His agency just dropped him too and the Peloton ad was suspended.

https://deadline.com/2021/12/chris-n...ty-1234899031/

I wonder if his current job on The Equalizer is in jeopardy.

Hopefully this means he'll never be on Doctor Who again!

I remember back in the 90's the company I worked out lent some its space for filming a Law & Order episode. The one thing I remember while watching them setting up & filming is that I got an instant dislike to Noth.